Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Ames Uravan

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was unsuccessful. Please do not modify it.

Ames Uravan

  • Nominated by:
  1. REDIRECT User:Spookywilloww/Sig2 00:49, August 23, 2018 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: We'll see how this goes? My first dabbles in nominating have been OOU so far, but I did write this one too.

(0 ACs/1 Users/1 Total)

Support

  1. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 10:05, September 2, 2018 (UTC)

Object

QGJ
  • Since the film, the novelization and Secret Mission were released simultaneously, {{1st}} should reflect that. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 14:34, August 24, 2018 (UTC)
    • Fixed
  1. REDIRECT User:Spookywilloww/Sig2 14:47, August 25, 2018 (UTC)
  • Provide some context on the Death Star.
    • Added
  1. REDIRECT User:Spookywilloww/Sig2 22:06, September 1, 2018 (UTC)
  • When you first introduce him both in the intro and in the bio, and say that he served the Empire, you need to establish some sort of approximate time frame of that service.
    • Added
  1. REDIRECT User:Spookywilloww/Sig2 22:06, September 1, 2018 (UTC)
  • The "Death" paragraph feels very play-by-play. though they looked miserable in the rain...; He then asked if all were present, and this was confirmed....; Erso was devastated, but quickly adjusted his outward expression to appear emotionless. Those are all extraneous details, which are unneccessary to the biography of this particular character. The part about him looking miserable is better suited for the "P&T", if anything.
    • Trimmed
  1. REDIRECT User:Spookywilloww/Sig2 22:06, September 1, 2018 (UTC)
  • members of the Alliance to Restore the Republic's Rogue One squad Rogue One hasn't been officially formed at this point of the film. It is only established after the team leaves Yavin IV.
    • Took that out
  1. REDIRECT User:Spookywilloww/Sig2 22:06, September 1, 2018 (UTC)
  • Have you checked the film's trailers for a glimpse of the character? We treat those as valid sources. Look at Ruescott Melshi for reference how to format them. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 07:10, August 27, 2018 (UTC)
    • The character isn't seen in any of them, I've checked through all of the one's listed on the film's main page.
  1. REDIRECT User:Spookywilloww/Sig2 22:06, September 1, 2018 (UTC)
  • Also, Rogue One: Secret Mission belongs to the Source list, instead of Appearances. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 08:37, August 29, 2018 (UTC)
    • Fixed
  1. REDIRECT User:Spookywilloww/Sig2 22:06, September 1, 2018 (UTC)
Ecks Dee
  • The Death subsection gets really crowded in terms of images. Ideally, you don't want a paragraph wrapped by images on both sides, which is the case now. The good news, however, is that EaduScientists.png would probably work really well in Equipment, with the suits being prominently featured. You probably want the change the caption there, to something like "Uravan and his colleagues wore blue suits blahblahblah...". 1358 (Talk) 18:34, September 11, 2018 (UTC)
    • Switched it
  1. REDIRECT User:Spookywilloww/Sig2 20:52, September 16, 2018 (UTC)
Tommy
  • Is it really necessary to state his death at the start of the history?
    • Removed
  1. REDIRECT User:Spookywilloww/Sig2 22:05, September 23, 2018 (UTC)
  • In the history can you make it clear he's working at the Eadu Energy Conversion Laboratory?
    • Added in^
  1. REDIRECT User:Spookywilloww/Sig2 22:05, September 23, 2018 (UTC)
  • "since circa 20 BBY.[2]" Is it necessary to repeat this? You already said that in the previous paragraph. Also, could you mention that he was there against his will earlier? Ideally, the history bits should be in roughly chronological order.
    • Removed, and switched
  1. REDIRECT User:Spookywilloww/Sig2 22:05, September 23, 2018 (UTC)
      • Good work, but be wary when changing the order of sentences, so article links are still upon the subject's first mention.
        • I think they're all still first mention now, not too many had to be shifted
  1. REDIRECT User:Spookywilloww/Sig2 01:11, September 30, 2018 (UTC)
  • Could you make the Death Star paragraph a bit more streamlined please? Something like: "Under the leadership of Galen Erso, the scientists worked to make kyber crystals a viable and consistent energy source for use in the superlaser of the Death Star, a Geonosian designed battle station that would, with the superlaser, have the capability to destroy entire planets." You may be able to mention this earlier in the history too, and I'd like to see a link to Project Stardust.
    • Reworded
  1. REDIRECT User:Spookywilloww/Sig2 22:05, September 23, 2018 (UTC)
      • Remember to link to these subjects.
        • Pretty sure they now all are
  1. REDIRECT User:Spookywilloww/Sig2 01:11, September 30, 2018 (UTC)
  • Ideally, the images would go left, right, left, although you may have to make the last image a bit smaller to make this work. Tommy Imperial Emblem Macaroni 16:04, September 21, 2018 (UTC)
    • Swapped around
  1. REDIRECT User:Spookywilloww/Sig2 22:05, September 23, 2018 (UTC)
  • I'd like to see a bit more on the death star in the into, as that was what Uravan was working on. Also, I don't think its destruction belongs there: in the body is fine but in a summary of the article it really isn't essential considering this guy's dead at the time.
    • Fixed
  1. REDIRECT User:Spookywilloww/Sig2 01:11, September 30, 2018 (UTC)
      • I didn't quite mean the same context as the body. See if how it is now is okay?
  • " while Cassian Andor and Bodhi Rook, members of a squad sent by Alliance to Restore the Republic, watched from above." Is this really necessary? It has nothing to do with this guy. Tommy Imperial Emblem Macaroni 16:36, September 26, 2018 (UTC)
    • Removed
  1. REDIRECT User:Spookywilloww/Sig2 01:11, September 30, 2018 (UTC)
  • "Despite this, their work was used to complete the superlaser of the Imperial Death Star" By the time of his death, the superlaser had already been completed, installed and test fired. Please correct.
    • Fixed
  1. REDIRECT User:Spookywilloww/Sig2 22:18, October 5, 2018 (UTC)
  • Ref 2 is incorrect. The guide only uses the BR1 (before rogue one) abbreviation for years, not ABY/BBY. Please change this to Galactic Atlas, with something like "Star Wars: Galactic Atlas dates the events of Rogue One: A Star Wars Story, including Urvan's death, to 0 BBY. As Star Wars: Rogue One: The Ultimate Visual Guide reveals that the Kyber crystal research team has been secluded on Eadu for nearly 20 years, they must have started work there circa 20 BBY." Tommy Imperial Emblem Macaroni 16:02, September 30, 2018 (UTC)
    • Fixed
  1. REDIRECT User:Spookywilloww/Sig2 22:18, October 5, 2018 (UTC)
  • I'm not so sure about your change to the date. While yes, they couldn't have been in the Empire in 20 BBY, they could've still been working on the project under the Republic. I think you should change the date back, and reshuffle the working of the article body instead, so it doesn't say working for the empire, but rather working under the Tarkin Initiative or the Death Star project or something. Tommy Imperial Emblem Macaroni 18:41, October 6, 2018 (UTC)
Imp
  • How could Uravan have worked for the Empire in 20 BBY when it was only established a year later? Imperators II(Talk) 01:15, September 30, 2018 (UTC)
    • Well, it had been circa 20 BBY, but with that logic I've swapped it to circa 19 BBY.
  1. REDIRECT User:Spookywilloww/Sig2 22:18, October 5, 2018 (UTC)

Comments

Vote to remove nomination (AC only)

  1. ACvote Idle objection past 10 days. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 18:46, October 16, 2018 (UTC)
  2. ACvote MasterFredCommerce Guild(Whatever) 18:50, October 16, 2018 (UTC)
  3. ACvote Imperators II(Talk) 19:27, October 16, 2018 (UTC)