- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.
Acklay
(+5)
Support
- NEGAS rocks. Chack Jadson (Talk) 17:17, 27 January 2008 (UTC)
- After some correction of style, it is fine. Domlith 12:33, 29 January 2008 (UTC)
- Toprawa and Ralltiir 22:39, 5 February 2008 (UTC)
- A few instances of strange phrasing, but otherwise a good read. Amraia 23:01, 10 February 2008 (UTC)
- Green Tentacle (Talk) 19:43, 12 February 2008 (UTC)
Oppose
- Toprawa says:
Expand that intro. Describe physical appearance, how they like aquatic environments to quantify their ability to survive on the "barren" world of Geonosis, more on their involvement in the Clone Wars- Fixed. Can try to add more if you feel it's needed.
- I might consider saying something about it being killed by Kenobi during the Battle of Geonosis. Toprawa and Ralltiir 00:57, 2 February 2008 (UTC)
- Did that.
- I might consider saying something about it being killed by Kenobi during the Battle of Geonosis. Toprawa and Ralltiir 00:57, 2 February 2008 (UTC)
- Fixed. Can try to add more if you feel it's needed.
Add to the physical distinctions in the infobox- Fixed.
You could reword this. Avoid "a lot of" when describing something...that's just lazy writing: "which gave them a lot of energy"- Fixed.
This sentence kind of bugs me. Could be reworded better: "Acklays were aggressive creatures, making them common in battles between beasts or executions where creatures where used."- Fixed.
Additionally, every paragraph in the Biology section starts with either "Acklays," "The acklay," or "an acklay"...mix it up a little bit better.- Fixed.
Wow, this sentence is unnecessarily long...break it up, and clarify what hives they destroyed: "The Geonosians also took to breeding them..."- Fixed.
Chack, I'm going in and cleaning up a lot of "lazy" modifiers that have made the History section very confusing...too many ambiguous "he's" and "its" and the like, as well as lazy spelling errors and in many cases, a total lack of apostrophes indicating possessiveness. I know you're a better writer than what you've left behind here.- Fixed.
POV up the wazoo: "putting the hapless acklay out of its misery"- Fixed.
Condense the two paragraphs concerning their presence on Felucia that sandwich the Geonosis info into one entity.- Fixed.
- I moved the Felucia info after the Geonosis paragraph to fit chronologically. Toprawa and Ralltiir 00:57, 2 February 2008 (UTC)
- Fixed.
Do me a favor and link velociraptor to wikipedia.- Fixed.
Include a sentence in the BTS that identifies the creature's first appearance in SW media.- Fixed.
- I'm willing to bet the acklay's first appearance is actually the Ep II novel. Make sure you check on that. Toprawa and Ralltiir 00:57, 2 February 2008 (UTC)
- It is. That was just me not thinking. Got it now.
- I'm willing to bet the acklay's first appearance is actually the Ep II novel. Make sure you check on that. Toprawa and Ralltiir 00:57, 2 February 2008 (UTC)
- Fixed.
Make sure the reference note to the acklay Databank entry actually links there...don't just type it out.Toprawa and Ralltiir 17:48, 1 February 2008 (UTC)- Fixed.
- Toprawa, Rd. 2:
You would probably do well the switch around the two images in the article of the body for chronological purposes and to avoid pushing the subsection titles out as they are now. Toprawa and Ralltiir 19:02, 2 February 2008 (UTC)- Any better?
- Much. Toprawa and Ralltiir 22:39, 5 February 2008 (UTC)
- Any better?
Comments
- Toprawa, I knew going in this likely had some errors. Thanks for pointing them out. I feel the article is much better than it was before I fixed your objections. Chack Jadson (Talk) 23:16, 1 February 2008 (UTC)