Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Abandoned Village

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a Good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Abandoned Village

  • Nominated by: Marvacian Archivist (talk) 18:21, 9 January 2023 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments:
  • Date Archived: 14:45, 5 August 2023 (UTC)
  • Final word count: 979 words (124 introduction, 721 body, 134 behind the scenes)
  • Word count at nomination time: 502 words (91 introduction, 366 body, 45 behind the scenes)
  • WookieeProject (optional): WP:VG

(3 ACs/2 Users/5 Total)

(Votes required: No additional votes required to pass, please consider reviewing another article.)

Support

  1. ACvote Pending Ayre's objection being satisfied. Cheers to sticking with this.—spookywillowwtalk 01:44, 3 August 2023 (UTC)
  2. ACvote Lewisr (talk) 01:51, 3 August 2023 (UTC)
  3. ACvote Great work! Ayrehead02 (talk) 08:46, 5 August 2023 (UTC)
  4. Well done! —TomotronSith Quad-SunSith Council 09:41, 5 August 2023 (UTC)
  5. Excellent work, can't wait to see more! AmazinglyCool Nightsisters symbol - JFO (talk) 14:36, 5 August 2023 (UTC)

Object

Samonic
  • Review note: Nice work expanding all these JFO (and TBB!) articles.
  • Preliminary objections:
    • In the intro, I think it'd be better to introduce Mirienna and Sienna when you introduce the village's inhabitants. This also applies to the "By 14 BBY."
    • Did the Empire occupy the village? (I'm assuming the Empire occupied the settlement since the article is in Category:Galactic Empire cities) That's a fact that the intro could establish since it's pretty important.
    • Could you provide some context for Project Auger in the intro?
      • Done Marvacian Archivist (talk) 19:28, 8 February 2023 (UTC)
        • Is the Imperial Code relevant to the Abandoned Village? I'm not seeing the need to mention it in the intro.
    • The fact that the village was abandoned should be mentioned in "History," not in "Description." While it describes the village, it's a part of the village's history, and therefore belongs in "History."
    • The article should provide context for the Order 66, the Crash Site, and the affiliation of the clone troopers. A date for Order 66's execution should probably be added too.
    • I don't think mentioning that the villagers not knowing the truth of Order 66 is relevant to the Abandoned Village. Additionally, we don't use parentheses on our pages, so those should be replaced with commas, emdashes, etc.
    • The article currently says that the Empire arrived on Zeffo by 14 BBY. It also establishes that excavations began "at some point during the Imperial Era," which should probably be removed since you already date the Empire's arrival to 14 BBY. (Therefore, the excavations began by that year) Samonic Signatureicon (Talk) 15:41, 12 January 2023 (UTC)
  • (Review note) Please note that Venator-class should be italicized and that you shouldn't use the date note every time you mention "by 14 BBY." Samonic Signatureicon (Talk) 11:38, 22 January 2023 (UTC)
  • "While relocating the inhabitants of the planet Zeffo, there was a case where Ostar, a father, distracted several stormtroopers to allow Mirienna, a mother and Sienna, a daughter, to escape where they accidently left a bag." A case of what? Is Ostar's Sienna's father? Is Mirienna Sienna's mother? Please reword. Where did they accidentally leave a bag? Is mentioning the bag relevant to the Abandoned Village? Samonic Signatureicon (Talk) 11:40, 22 January 2023 (UTC)
AmazinglyCool
  • What is the extent of the mention in the Encyclopedia book?
    • Sorry, just realised it doesn't mention it. I have removed the source now Marvacian Archivist (talk) 13:04, 22 January 2023 (UTC).
  • Most of the body in the History section can be compressed into one paragraph.
  • Any quotes?
    • Added a quote in history section Marvacian Archivist (talk) 12:51, 22 January 2023 (UTC).
      • Are you sure there aren't any other quotes? AmazinglyCool CIS roundel (talk) 14:53, 22 January 2023 (UTC)
        • I've added another quote but apart from that, I'm afraid there aren't any more quotes Marvacian Archivist (talk) 19:19, 23 January 2023 (UTC).
  • The history section has room for an image. AmazinglyCool CIS roundel (talk) 12:11, 22 January 2023 (UTC)
  • Using these templates, you can state that while in the village, Kestis used Psychometry to learn the village's story. AmazinglyCool CIS roundel (talk) 14:53, 22 January 2023 (UTC)
  • You can expand the description section much more, take a look at Unidentified Nightbrother village to see how to do this. AmazinglyCool Nightsisters symbol - JFO (talk) 20:21, 12 February 2023 (UTC)
  • Check my copy-edit to make sure you're okay with it.
  • You should mention the abandonment of the village and its effects in the History section, not the Description.
  • You have enough room in the Description section for an image.
    • Added image.Marvacian Archivist (talk) 10:33, 24 February 2023 (UTC)
      • You should also add a Description to the image. Additionally, checking the source for the image it cites to Zeffo in the SW Databank. If the structure was first pictured in the Databank, you should add it to the Sources section along with the {{1stp}} template and adjust the BTS accordingly. AmazinglyCool Nightsisters symbol - JFO (talk) 13:53, 24 February 2023 (UTC)
        • I've added a description to the image but I'm not sure whether the structure was first pictured in the Databank or the game. Looking at the image, it seems as though the image was taken before the Databank but I can't confirm this. Marvacian Archivist (talk) 17:40, 24 February 2023 (UTC)
          • The Fallen Order databank entries were released prior to the game. AmazinglyCool Nightsisters symbol - JFO (talk) 18:02, 24 February 2023 (UTC)
            • All done now. Marvacian Archivist (talk) 14:29, 28 February 2023 (UTC)
              • You should also specify which entry in the BTS. AmazinglyCool Nightsisters symbol - JFO (talk) 12:39, 1 March 2023 (UTC)
                • Hi. So sorry, I completely forgot about your objection regarding this. I have now specified the entry with a link to the Zeffo entry on the Star Wars Databank. Marvacian Archivist (talk) 18:17, 11 March 2023 (UTC)
  • Is the "Society and culture" section necessary? This is an article about the village, not the villagers and the focus should mainly be placed on the location.
    • Yep I agree. I have removed the Society and culture section from the location. I have integrated it into the Zeffo article.Marvacian Archivist (talk) 10:33, 24 February 2023 (UTC)
  • In some parts you capitalize "Abandoned Village" and in others you don't capitalize it. As Fallen Order leaves it capitalized, you should capitalize "Abandoned Village" throughout. AmazinglyCool Nightsisters symbol - JFO (talk) 14:57, 23 February 2023 (UTC)
    • Not sure what you mean.Marvacian Archivist (talk) 10:33, 24 February 2023 (UTC)
      • In some parts of the article you capitzalize the village's name: "Abandoned Village," and in others you lowercase the name: "abandoned village." To make this consistent, you should capitalize Abandoned Village in every instance, as Fallen Order capitalizes it. AmazinglyCool Nightsisters symbol - JFO (talk) 13:53, 24 February 2023 (UTC)
  • I'm confused about the last sentence of the BTS, what is its relevance in regards to the village? AmazinglyCool Nightsisters symbol - JFO (talk) 21:37, 28 February 2023 (UTC)
  • There are a lot of missing links (e.g. Cave). AmazinglyCool Nightsisters symbol - JFO (talk) 21:27, 5 March 2023 (UTC)
  • Does the Fallen Order art book contain any concept art? AmazinglyCool Nightsisters symbol - JFO (talk) 21:28, 5 March 2023 (UTC)
    • Yes it does. I have added an image in the BTS section of the concept art of the Abandoned Village. I have also updated the BTS section accordingly. Marvacian Archivist (talk) 19:09, 6 March 2023 (UTC)
  • Context for Zeffonian/Zeffo species (should note that they are ancient and that they are a species)
  • Should mention the information about Republic pioneers in the intro.
  • The Description section should be written in passive, not active voice.
    • I've tried my best to rewrite the description section in a passive voice. Please check. Marvacian Archivist (talk) 08:55, 7 March 2023 (UTC)
  • Please check my copy-edit. AmazinglyCool Nightsisters symbol - JFO (talk) 21:23, 6 March 2023 (UTC)
  • You can add the Galactic Republic to the affiliation section of the Infobox. AmazinglyCool Nightsisters symbol - JFO (talk) 19:42, 14 March 2023 (UTC)
    • Unfortunately, there is no mention of the Abandoned Village being affiliated with the Galactic Republic. Marvacian Archivist (talk) 11:56, 15 March 2023 (UTC)
      • Was it not established by Republic pioneers? AmazinglyCool Nightsisters symbol - JFO (talk) 13:27, 15 March 2023 (UTC)
        • The village was founded by archaeologists and pioneers from the Galactic Republic. This does not confirm that the village is affiliated to the Galactic Republic. They may of have been rogues or something else. We don't know. Marvacian Archivist (talk) 15:43, 15 March 2023 (UTC)
  • The manner in which the first sentence of the Description section is worded, would imply that Zeffo is located next to the Derelict Hangar. It could benefit from the use of a comma after "Zeffo." AmazinglyCool Nightsisters symbol - JFO (talk) 20:56, 13 April 2023 (UTC)
  • Add context for Zeffonians in the Description section. That sentence could be better worded as "The Weathered Monument, a statue crafted by the ancient Zeffo species, could be...." This may bring the article over its word count.AmazinglyCool Nightsisters symbol - JFO (talk) 20:56, 13 April 2023 (UTC)
  • The majority of the sentences in the Description begin with "The village," and the article might benefit from some variation. AmazinglyCool Nightsisters symbol - JFO (talk) 20:56, 13 April 2023 (UTC)
    • All done. Marvacian Archivist (talk) 11:19, 14 April 2023 (UTC)
      • You still have a lot of sentences that start with "The...." You may wanna change around your sentence structure in some sentences. You can have a couple "the"s but not too many. AmazinglyCool Nightsisters symbol - JFO (talk) 12:08, 14 April 2023 (UTC)
  • "...that had been destroyed by 14 BBY. that later led into a pathway dotted with wide stone slabs, near the outskirts of the village." You either have to fix the beginning of the second sentence, or add a comma after "14 BBY." AmazinglyCool Nightsisters symbol - JFO (talk) 20:56, 13 April 2023 (UTC)
  • "Many goods were obtained by villagers from the Derelict Hangar where starships could land and conduct trade." This sentence is slightly confusing. Are the villagers from the Derelict Hangar? This sentence could be reworded for clarity, so a reader would not be confused.AmazinglyCool Nightsisters symbol - JFO (talk) 20:56, 13 April 2023 (UTC)
    • I've instead added it as context for the Derelict Hangar which was sorely lacking (please see edit history) and I have added context for the Turbine facility. Marvacian Archivist (talk) 11:33, 14 April 2023 (UTC)
  • Could you state the amount of houses? AmazinglyCool Nightsisters symbol - JFO (talk) 20:56, 13 April 2023 (UTC)
    • That's now going to be difficult as I am having issues with my Xbox. What I can do is I can try and count the number of houses on YouTube videos made about the Abandoned Village however please note that this will take some time to complete. Marvacian Archivist (talk) 11:18, 14 April 2023 (UTC)
  • Context for the scazz and jotaz. You could say something like "the verminous scazz" and "the aggressive jotaz," or something else. AmazinglyCool Nightsisters symbol - JFO (talk) 20:56, 13 April 2023 (UTC)
  • Context for the Galactic Empire. AmazinglyCool Nightsisters symbol - JFO (talk) 20:56, 13 April 2023 (UTC)
    • Done. Marvacian Archivist (talk) 11:13, 14 April 2023 (UTC)
      • Change of plans, I've now deleted the context for the "Galactic Empire" as its an empire so you get the idea of what an empire is as all empires are dictatorships.Marvacian Archivist (talk) 16:04, 15 April 2023 (UTC)
        • That was honestly a pretty dumb objection, my apologies. AmazinglyCool Nightsisters symbol - JFO (talk) 21:45, 17 April 2023 (UTC)
  • The intro definitely needs to be expanded. I feel like you could add more specifically about the Description, and then split what you have on the history into a different paragraph. AmazinglyCool Nightsisters symbol - JFO (talk) 21:05, 24 April 2023 (UTC)
    • Hi. I've added the description in the intro but I feel that it flows better as one paragraph rather than two.Marvacian Archivist (talk) 14:29, 25 April 2023 (UTC)
  • Please check my copy-edit to make sure your ok with it.
  • You're going to have to provide the full release date for Fallen Order since the briefing and the game released in the same year. AmazinglyCool Nightsisters symbol - JFO (talk) 00:56, 14 May 2023 (UTC)
    • Hi. Sorry. Didn't see your message there. Yep, I'm fine with the copy edit and just to let you know, I have added the full release date for Fallen Order.Marvacian Archivist (talk) 16:09, 17 May 2023 (UTC)
Ayrehead
  • Been thinking about our coverage of Fallen Order recently and actually think we need to cover more of the collectables. The three for the village are durite which is found by a stone wall on the edge of the village, the material for the Guardian outfit which is found on a rooftop, and the sleeve for a Duty and Resolve lightsaber which is also on a rooftop. They can just be covered very briefly within the game mechanics template. Ayrehead02 (talk) 12:07, 28 February 2023 (UTC)
  • Since there are multiple images of the village I've created an image category for it at "Images of Abandoned Village" which you should add a mediacat template for. Any time you're nominating an article with multiple images of the subject always be sure to include this and make the category if necessary. Ayrehead02 (talk) 12:07, 28 February 2023 (UTC)
  • The information about archeologists and explorers and pioneers from the Republic living there should be in history rather then description. Ayrehead02 (talk) 12:07, 28 February 2023 (UTC)
    • I disagree. As this is a description of the village, it doesn't just include the location but also the community. See Unidentified Nightbrother village. Marvacian Archivist (talk) 14:53, 28 February 2023 (UTC)
      • I'd say description is more for the physical attributes of the location rather then inhabitants, especially since those were only the inhabitants for a specific section of its history and aren't by the time of the game. The history section currently doesn't mention this section of the village's history at all. Ayrehead02 (talk) 15:03, 28 February 2023 (UTC)
  • The description could include a few more elements like the large turbine you have to jump across and the red flags on several buildings. I also think when you mention it's on a mountain you should cover that it's got multiple levels up the mountain side connected by stone steps and that there's sheer drops on one side of it and a ravine through it, which is why that building needs a bridge. Ayrehead02 (talk) 12:07, 28 February 2023 (UTC)
    • The flags have already been covered in the description section. I've briefly covered the pathways to the village however I haven't covered the part where Kestis jumps across turbines as I don't think that it is relevant to the description of the village that much. I don't think that the abandoned village or any of its more isolated houses ae located in a ravine. Marvacian Archivist (talk) 15:14, 28 February 2023 (UTC)
      • The turbine is located directly next to the village and so I'd say its relevant. The village isn't in a ravine, but there is a ravine or crevice of some kind running through it that you can fall down, which is what that metal bridge that you mention runs across. You've also still not covered the multiple levels, stone steps, or sheer drop. Ayrehead02 (talk) 16:02, 28 February 2023 (UTC)
        • Now mentioned ravine in description of village.
        • I've double checked and there don't seem to be multiple levels. The Derelict Hanger and the Abandoned Village are next to each other (Star Wars Jedi: Fallen Order - Let's Play - Part 5 - "Zeffo Return" - YouTube). If when talking about the multiple levels, you mean the houses being located at different levels, this has been mentioned with the village being located in a mountain.
        • Stone steps has now been covered in the description section, including the turbine.
        • I haven't mentioned sheer drop given that it is located on a mountain. Marvacian Archivist (talk) 17:34, 28 February 2023 (UTC)
          • ALright, having reached the village in my current playthrough of Fallen Order here's my more detailed list of what's still missing. The village is built in a multi-level flattened area between two mountain peaks. On one side there is a sheer drop down the mountain while a ravine runs along two of the other sides of the village. A waterfall empties from one of the peaks into the ravine where it runs as a river to another waterfall beside the village that empties lower into the mountain. A branch of the ravine also separates the building closest to the waterfall from the rest of the village, with both bridges across to it broken by 14 BBY. The path up to the turbine facility also includes a bridge across the ravine. The cave path that links the village to the derelict hangar ends within a rooftop structure in the village. The exposed path connecting the hangar to the village runs along the mountain edge beside the turbine on the edge of the village, but its bridge has also collapsed. There are several GX-8 Moisture Vaporators built around the village and on its rooftops.The village has multiple layers, with the portion of the village nearest the lower waterfall raised higher then portion near the mountain edge with set of stone steps connecting the two. It's also scripted that as you arrive there are two scout troopers who attack and kill a scazz on the edge of the village. I don't want to overwhelm you with all this stuff, but I think it's important that we cover the description and other stuff comprehensively. I'm happy to help you work this into the current section if you'd like aid with the wording and stuff. Ayrehead02 (talk) 19:12, 9 March 2023 (UTC)
            • Ah don't worry about it. I've still got a lot of words left before I reach featured article nomination lol. Here is what I have done so far:
              • I have included a mention of the GX-8 Moisture Vaporators now in the Description.
              • Description Section edits:
                • All right so I have now mentioned in the description that the village was built in a multilevel area between two mountain peaks.
                • I really don't think that we need to mention the fact that there is a sheer drop down the mountain. The ravine part has already been mentioned in the description (Please see below objection for more details).
                  • Ravine Objections:
                    • I have now added your river objections.
                    • Your ravine objection separating a house from the rest of the village has already been written in the Description Section. I just added the fact that a waterfall was next to a house separated from the rest of the village by a deep ravine. Don't worry, I don't need to specify which waterfall I am referring to as there is only one waterfall next to the ravine I am talking about.
                    • Metal Bridge objections have already been addressed in article in the Description Section with the reference to one bridge being in between a house and the rest of the village and with the reference of all metal bridges being destroyed therefore implying that the metal bridge bridging a house to the rest of the village was destroyed by 14 BBY.
                    • Turbine Path objection has now been addressed.
                    • Derelict Hanger Shortcut with cave objection has now been addressed.
                    • Derelict Hanger long pathway objection has now been addressed.
              • I have now included the fact that there were two scout troopers who attacked and killed a scazz on the edge of the village. Makes you wonder how the villagers who used to live on Zeffo survived if the player could easily be killed by the native fauna. Marvacian Archivist (talk) 18:05, 11 March 2023 (UTC)
                • I still think it's worth clearly stating toward the beginning of the description that the village has a sheer drop on one side, a ravine on two sides, and then mountain wall on the fourth. Being on a mountain side does imply a sheer drop, but its worth specifying that it's only on one side as it could be multiple and we want to give readers a clear description of what each edge of the village looks like. Ayrehead02 (talk) 09:31, 14 May 2023 (UTC)
                  • Done. Marvacian Archivist (talk) 14:05, 21 July 2023 (UTC)
                    • I'm still not seeing where this is mentioned in the article? Ayrehead02 (talk) 15:55, 26 July 2023 (UTC)
                      • Sorry, now done. Instead of saying sheer drop, I said a cliff. It basically means the same thing and I have said this towards the beginning of the Description Section in the Layout Subsection :). Marvacian Archivist (talk) 15:28, 29 July 2023 (UTC)
  • You should mention the other wildlife, just as the jotaz nearby, that are present. Ayrehead02 (talk) 12:07, 28 February 2023 (UTC)
    • I'm not sure what you mean as the locations near the Abandoned Village have no mention of any Jotaz nearby. Jotaz's were introduced when the player reaches the Imperial Headquarters which is quite far away from the Abandoned Village. Marvacian Archivist (talk) 14:57, 28 February 2023 (UTC)
      • One of the ambient dialogues you can hear when entering the village is a stormtrooper saying they'd seen a jotaz nearby. Ayrehead02 (talk) 15:05, 28 February 2023 (UTC)
  • I think an image of the in-game map of the village might be better for description with the Cal Kestis image moved to the history since that stormtrooper image doesn't really show much of the village itself. Ayrehead02 (talk) 12:07, 28 February 2023 (UTC)
    • Unfortunately I do not have an image of the in-game map of the village. What I will do is I will delete the photo in the description section and add it to the History Section. Marvacian Archivist (talk) 15:28, 28 February 2023 (UTC)
      • An image of the map can be easily found in a wide range of Youtube videos depicting the game. Ayrehead02 (talk) 16:02, 28 February 2023 (UTC)
  • Just discovered a memorial of clone trooper helmets at the Crash Site where Cal says "The villagers built this memorial to the clones in the Venator. If only they knew the truth." Ayrehead02 (talk) 17:10, 11 March 2023 (UTC)
    • It has already been covered in the History Section of the article. Marvacian Archivist (talk) 17:15, 11 March 2023 (UTC)
      • Ah, sorry. Had no memory of it from my previous read-through some how. Ayrehead02 (talk) 17:24, 11 March 2023 (UTC)
  • One last thing I noticed in my most recent read-through, you refer to all of the buildings as houses but does any sources actually support that? I don't remember seeing anything in game and some could easily be stores, storage, offices etc. Ayrehead02 (talk) 07:33, 5 August 2023 (UTC)
    • Ok so I checked all the sources discussing the Abandoned Village and you were right. It isn't confirmed that all of the buildings are houses. As it doesn't confirm whether there are stores or offices there, I have written in my article buildings rather than homes (See Edit History). Marvacian Archivist (talk) 07:52, 5 August 2023 (UTC)
spookly
  • Article is of a decent enough length to require an intro expansion, to a degree.
    • Tried to expand the introduction as much as possible. Please see if any further expansion is needed. Marvacian Archivist (talk) 19:18, 6 March 2023 (UTC)
  • If no other quotes are available, the history one should be moved to be the top quote.
    • Placed quote at the top of the article and added another quote for History Section. Marvacian Archivist (talk) 18:55, 6 March 2023 (UTC)
  • Description image caption "Layout of Abandoned Village"— would it be better suited as "Layout of the Abandoned Village"? (owing to match the intro and body's usage of "The")
  • Weathered Monument can have statue as context (or whatever other context suits, to solve it not having any)
  • The usage of specifically "Project Auger" in prose is considered intro-exclusive, as only having it in the image caption doesn't count.
    • Removed mention of Project Auger in image caption. Marvacian Archivist (talk) 18:55, 6 March 2023 (UTC)
      • You should still add the information on Project Auger in the article's body, as the information on it is still intro exclusive. AmazinglyCool Nightsisters symbol - JFO (talk) 21:13, 6 March 2023 (UTC)
        • Hi. So sorry, again, I completely forgot about your objection regarding this. All done. Marvacian Archivist (talk) 18:59, 11 March 2023 (UTC)
  • Please make a run through to check that the article is written with American English spelling due to site policies aiming for consistency.
    • Apologies for asking this, but is it possible if you or someone else could ensure that article is written in American English as I only know how to write articles using British English. Marvacian Archivist (talk) 18:33, 6 March 2023 (UTC)
      • Copy-edit; seems like some other folks got the rest of it in their copy-edits. Essentially, CTRL+F and search for "our", the most common ones are 'savoured'-->'savored', 'colour'-->'color', etc. Also be careful about using the proper hellips and underscores in files.—spookywillowwtalk 00:29, 15 March 2023 (UTC)
  • Happy to copy-edit for you after, but while doing above, making a first pass through for missing commas and links would be appreciated.—spookywillowwtalk 21:18, 5 March 2023 (UTC)
    • Yes will do. Regarding the missing links, see above as I believe Amazingly Cool had a similar objection. Marvacian Archivist (talk) 18:33, 6 March 2023 (UTC)
  • Minor, but I'm seeing Outer Rim Territories linked in full in the intro, while shortened in the Outer Rim; generally, should be the other way around to ensure the body has information in-full compared to the intro, or, have them match.
  • I'm seeing [[:Category linking, which is something usually avoided.
  • "There were at least three entrances to enter the settlement: two from the Derelict Hangar and one from the Turbine Facility where the hamlet could be entered from the Turbine Facility by traveling through a cave which included a bridge across a ravine or by entering from the Derelict Hangar through a long, windy pathway along the edge of the mountain with a metal bridge[1] that had been destroyed by 14 BBY, that later led into a pathway dotted with wide stone slabs, near the outskirts of the settlement."—is a run-on to split.
  • "By the year 14 BBY, there were several GX-8 Moisture Vaporators..." —can this 14 BBY be sourced directly to the game? (currently is not tagged to the date ref used elsewhere)
  • "Mirienna and Sienna were the only known inhabitants of Zeffo that were alive." seems intro-exclusive, unless I've missed it. While the body does note that they escaped successfully, 'only known' presents an issue from NPOV.
  • 'Emperor' capitalization is inconsistent between the body and intro. Might be more tidy to mention him by name, as well, as opposed to pipelink.—spookywillowwtalk 15:12, 17 April 2023 (UTC)
  • Seems like |climate= field in infobox may be fillable. The mention of the blanket to stay warm and the coverage of snow throughout point to a chilly/cold temperature.—spookywillowwtalk 19:02, 26 June 2023 (UTC)
  • Also seems like some mention of the types of troopers stationed in the village could be said somewhere; there's different linkable variants present even if he doesn't have to fight them all.—spookywillowwtalk 19:05, 26 June 2023 (UTC)
Macaroni
  • The opening sentence is a run-on that doesn't work grammatically, please read it over again.
  • Check your comma usage - for example, in the sentence "During the Imperial era, the village was occupied by the Galactic Empire as part of Project Auger which sought to excavate Zeffonian artifacts, for the Emperor.", there should be a comma before "which" but not before "for".
  • Review note: adverbs ending in -ly should not be followed by hyphens ("technologically advanced" rather than "technologically-advanced"). JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 23:20, 4 May 2023 (UTC)
  • The connection between the two clauses in this sentence isn't quite clear: "In the aftermath, Mirienna and Sienna were known survivors with much of the village being covered in moss and snow.
  • This sentence is a bit long, please split it up or at least change it so that there are some commas: "At least one metal bridge connected a house close to a waterfall to the rest of the village in between a deep ravine that contained a river flowing into another waterfall beside the village that ran into a body of water below the mountain."
  • Please implement the {{EncyclopediaCite}} template when citing Scarif and Other Outer Rim Planets.
  • I think the fact that JFO is single player can be sourced to the game itself, no?
    • Not sure what you mean. My reasoning behind this was because I thought it was important to mention the fact that JFO is single player. If someone who hasn't played JFO was reading this article and just read that JFO is a video game, he/she would have no idea that the video game is single player. He/she may think that the game is multiplayer. Marvacian Archivist (talk) 10:01, 27 May 2023 (UTC)
      • That's fine, but I don't see a need for the IGN article as a source when you can just use JFO itself. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 23:44, 28 May 2023 (UTC)
  • Review note: spaces do not go after em dashes (thing—thing, not thing— thing). Also, per policy we use em dashes as standard instead of en dashes for parentheticals and such. See my copy-edit for those, comma fixes, and other minor things. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 04:26, 25 May 2023 (UTC)
    • Ok then, will consider this when writing and nominating articles :).Marvacian Archivist (talk) 10:01, 27 May 2023 (UTC)
  • Looks like both the description and history sections can be split into two subsections each of two paragraphs each. With this, you can fit more quote and images, if available. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 01:22, 14 June 2023 (UTC)
Fan
  • The intro doesn't need to provide all the context for the Derelict Hangar and the other locations near the village; that's all stuff that should go in the body. The intro doesn't need to provide context for subjects other than the article subject itself Fan26 (Talk) 00:46, 14 May 2023 (UTC)
  • I'd argue that the BtS should explain what "3D Metroidvania type design" actually is. Fan26 (Talk) 00:48, 14 May 2023 (UTC)
Lew
  • 'after Order 66, an order programmed in the behavioral modification biochips in clone troopers to execute the Jedi for treason against the Republic' is this information about the chips citeable to the game itself? Lewisr (talk) 18:32, 26 June 2023 (UTC)
Anil
  • (Reviewing note) Nice work on catching many small details from the game! I have fixed this in my copy-edit (see the comma in bold), but please keep in mind that articles should always use the serial comma per the Manual of Style: "stormtroopers, standard scout troopers, and Scout Trooper Commanders"
  • Could you provide some context for the Tombs of Eilram and Miktrull? Just adding that they were burial places of Zeffo Sages or something similar should suffice.
    • I don't think that there is a need as there already is context from the name itself. If I for example was talking about a Tomb named Necropolis then I would need to provide context as it might be a tomb, a temple...it could be anything. Whereas for tombs such as the Tomb of Eilram or the Tomb of Miktrull, I don't need to provide context as we know that it is a tomb. A similar discussion regarding this was I believe in one of Amazingcool's objections regarding context for the Galactic Empire. Marvacian Archivist (talk) 14:03, 16 July 2023 (UTC)
      • Yeah, I agree that the tombs themselves don't really need context, but I think sudden mentions of "Eilram" and "Miktrull" might be a bit confusing for regular readers who don't know what/who they are. TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 01:49, 17 July 2023 (UTC)
        • Still, I don't think its necessary to provide context for both locations. The "Tomb" part is more than enough for readers to understand what both locations are. Marvacian Archivist (talk) 22:31, 17 July 2023 (UTC)
  • Does the artbook have any developer or artist quotes related to the Abandoned Village that can be added to the BTS? TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 21:49, 12 July 2023 (UTC)
  • The climate is infobox-exclusive. TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 00:10, 13 July 2023 (UTC)

Comments

  • As of right now from my count, this article is around 950 words. Just wanted to notify Marvacian that the article may soon exceed the GAN word limit. AmazinglyCool Nightsisters symbol - JFO (talk) 21:40, 11 March 2023 (UTC)
  • For any future objections, please note that I will be adding another image to the description section at the second paragraph in the article.Marvacian Archivist (talk) 09:42, 28 March 2023 (UTC)
  • As part of the record, at this point, word count is 970 words.Marvacian Archivist (talk) 13:55, 20 April 2023 (UTC)

Vote to strike objections (AC only)

  1. ACvote For Fan's, for the response from the 1st.—spookywillowwtalk 18:48, 22 June 2023 (UTC)
  2. ACvote Master FredceriqueCommerce Guild(talk) (he/him) 18:50, 22 June 2023 (UTC)
  3. ACvote Lewisr (talk) 21:05, 22 June 2023 (UTC)

Approved as a Good article by AgriCorps 14:42, 5 August 2023 (UTC)