- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a Good article nomination that was unsuccessful. Please do not modify it.
Aaph Koden
- Nominated by: StarsiderSWG (talk) 15:32, July 16, 2020 (UTC)
- Nomination comments: Renominating, as the issues that led to the status revocation should now be addressed.
(0 ACs/1 Users/1 Total)
(Votes required: 3 AC vote(s) required to reach minimum. Additional 1 user or 1 AC vote required to pass.)
Support
- Good work. UberSoldat93
(talk) 11:59, July 27, 2020 (UTC)
Object
Fan
"News of the success reached Koden, who commended the Rebel agent as one of the few individuals she could trust—a rare distinction, given Koden's overall lack of trust for outsiders" I feel like the second part of the sentence is a bit opinionated and unnecessary. I'd suggest removing it.Fan26 (Talk) 01:06, July 19, 2020 (UTC)- Removed the second part of the sentence.StarsiderSWG (talk) 01:59, July 21, 2020 (UTC)
UberSoldat
"Eager to notify Reede, Lieutenant Koden enlisted the aid of a spacer loyal to the Rebel cause. The agent fulfilled Koden's task of locating Talia Reede in the outskirts of Anchorhead...." Are you referring to the same individual when you say "agent"? This should be clarified.The info that does not directly involve Koden should be trimmed down. It's confusing to follow when it's not specific to the subject of the article.It would be good to revise the article's prose. I've spotted too many instances of what is considered "non-encyclopedic tone." e.g."Yet, before such musings could become a reality, Reede would need to be brought to Anchorhead to begin her Jedi training."UberSoldat93 (talk) 12:35, July 19, 2020 (UTC)
- Yeah, I see what you mean. Going to work on rewriting things a bit more. StarsiderSWG (talk) 02:07, July 21, 2020 (UTC)
- Okay, I rewrote some things, let me know. Also, for reference purposes, this link shows all the relevant text strings for this NPC StarsiderSWG (talk) 05:09, July 21, 2020 (UTC)
- So far it's looking a lot better, but there's still some more work to be done e.g. "Although Reede was skeptical of her potential Force-sensitivity, she agreed to consider the Alliance's offer. However, time was not on her side." UberSoldat93 (talk) 15:29, July 21, 2020 (UTC)
- Now that the Biography is looking good, can you look over the Personality section? It could use some revision. UberSoldat93
(talk) 10:16, July 23, 2020 (UTC)
- Sure, anything in particular that sticks out to you? StarsiderSWG (talk) 01:26, July 24, 2020 (UTC)
- It's the same issue that was present in the Biography, the tone. Let me know once you're done copy-editing and I'll look over it. UberSoldat93 (talk) 07:57, July 24, 2020 (UTC)
- Okay, not quite sure if it's what you're looking for, but I rephrased the section a bit more. Let me know. StarsiderSWG (talk) 05:09, July 26, 2020 (UTC)
- Yes, this is reading so much better now, good job. UberSoldat93 (talk) 08:06, July 26, 2020 (UTC)
- Yes, this is reading so much better now, good job. UberSoldat93
- Okay, not quite sure if it's what you're looking for, but I rephrased the section a bit more. Let me know. StarsiderSWG (talk) 05:09, July 26, 2020 (UTC)
- It's the same issue that was present in the Biography, the tone. Let me know once you're done copy-editing and I'll look over it. UberSoldat93
- Sure, anything in particular that sticks out to you? StarsiderSWG (talk) 01:26, July 24, 2020 (UTC)
- Now that the Biography is looking good, can you look over the Personality section? It could use some revision. UberSoldat93
- So far it's looking a lot better, but there's still some more work to be done e.g. "Although Reede was skeptical of her potential Force-sensitivity, she agreed to consider the Alliance's offer. However, time was not on her side." UberSoldat93
- Okay, I rewrote some things, let me know. Also, for reference purposes, this link shows all the relevant text strings for this NPC StarsiderSWG (talk) 05:09, July 21, 2020 (UTC)
- Yeah, I see what you mean. Going to work on rewriting things a bit more. StarsiderSWG (talk) 02:07, July 21, 2020 (UTC)
"A female Zabrak Army Lieutenant and carbineer of the Rebel Alliance named Aaph Koden was stationed in the town of Anchorhead...." You should start with the character's name, it is unnecessary to say the character was "named XYZ".UberSoldat93 (talk) 15:29, July 21, 2020 (UTC)Can you split the second paragraph to reduce its length?UberSoldat93 (talk) 15:29, July 21, 2020 (UTC)
- I think you're referring to the "However, time was not on her side" sentence specifically? I went ahead and removed that. The other issues should be addressed too. StarsiderSWG (talk) 06:11, July 22, 2020 (UTC)
I think it would be better to move "Zabrak female" to Personality and traits, since you currently mention that she's a Zabrak in the body twice.- Reviewing note: Per Wookieepedia:Mofferences/July 25, 2020, we won't link individual words within proper compound nouns anymore (e.g. Alliance [[Army]]).
- Reviewing note: Images should always go below quotes. UberSoldat93 (talk) 08:23, July 26, 2020 (UTC)
- I removed the female/Zabrak mention from biography, and just kept it to personality and traits.StarsiderSWG (talk) 15:55, July 26, 2020 (UTC)
QGJ
BTS quote is unsourcedShe also possessed pirate weapons. Does the source elaborate what kind of weapons were those, exactly?- There is room in the biography section for one more image.
P&T looks quite bulky in the Oasis skin. I suggest splitting it in two paragraphs.with an insignia representing the rank of lieutenant in the Alliance Army. Can this part be sourced directly to the game, or do you use deduce her rank based on previous depiction of the lieutenant plaque in other Legends media? If it's the latter, then this part will require a separate source.QuiGonJinn(Talk) 14:35, August 12, 2020 (UTC)
- Addressed points 1 and 4. The source merely describes them as "pirate weapons." No elaboration beyond that. The insignia rank was identified as a lieutenant rank elsewhere throughout the game, so it can be sourced to the game. In the meantime, I can find another image, but anything in mind? We already have a close up image of the character, plus a full body shot. Not sure what kind of image you have in mind. StarsiderSWG (talk) 02:51, August 13, 2020 (UTC)
- Images don't always have to feature the article's subject. You can use images of other objects/places/events mentioned in the text. For example:
- Koden deemed it prudent to deliver a message to Reede in the form of a datadisc Does the datadisc physically appear in the game? You can use an image of it.
- An Imperial stormtrooper commander and two other stormtroopers scoured the desert You can use an image of this Imperial party.
- who was stationed in the town of Anchorhead on the planet Tatooine, A general view of Anchorhead could work too. QuiGonJinn (Talk) 13:40, August 24, 2020 (UTC)
- True, true. I'll get something added soon. StarsiderSWG (talk) 04:09, August 28, 2020 (UTC)
- Images don't always have to feature the article's subject. You can use images of other objects/places/events mentioned in the text. For example:
- Addressed points 1 and 4. The source merely describes them as "pirate weapons." No elaboration beyond that. The insignia rank was identified as a lieutenant rank elsewhere throughout the game, so it can be sourced to the game. In the meantime, I can find another image, but anything in mind? We already have a close up image of the character, plus a full body shot. Not sure what kind of image you have in mind. StarsiderSWG (talk) 02:51, August 13, 2020 (UTC)
Comments
Vote to remove nomination (AC only)
- Unaddressed objection for over 10 days. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 18:52, September 8, 2020 (UTC)
- Ayrehead02 (talk) 18:52, September 8, 2020 (UTC)
- Tommy-Macaroni 19:59, September 8, 2020 (UTC)
