Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Zygerrian/Legends

< Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations
The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Zygerrian

  • Nominated by: QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 19:02, August 13, 2010 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: My first attempt to do a species. Be gentle.

(4 Inqs/2 Users/6 Total)

Support

  1. Inqvote IFYLOFD (Floyd's crib) 17:42, August 18, 2010 (UTC)
  2. I'm a slave for species articles. ~ SavageBob 21:12, September 3, 2010 (UTC)
  3. Inqvote --Eyrezer 02:25, September 5, 2010 (UTC)
  4. Inqvote Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research (Comlink) 23:29, September 28, 2010 (UTC)
  5. Inqvote — Fiolli 19:48, October 4, 2010 (UTC)
  6. 1358 (Talk) 19:26, October 6, 2010 (UTC)

Object

  • The article does not mention anything about the Zygerrian Zolghast --Jinzler 22:27, August 14, 2010 (UTC)
    • Bah. I knew I'd forgotten something. Addressed. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 14:07, August 15, 2010 (UTC)
Attack of the Floyd
  • No quote for Biology and appearance?
    • I couldn't find anything relevant.
  • "the leader of the Confederacy of Independent Systems, Count Dooku, offered the Zygerrians to supply them with slaves" The last part doesn't really flow too well. Please reword.
    • Addressed.
  • "which was run by an individual known as the Keeper" Considering the Keeper isn't mentioned again in the article, I don't see how this is relevant.
    • He is mentioned later. "The labor processing hub was destroyed, and the Keeper was captured, dealing another blow to the Zygerrian business."
      • Missed it. My bad.
  • "which quickly rose to eight hundred fifty million, before the bidding was interrupted in order to present a new exhibit, Kenobi himself. At this moment, the auction was interrupted by Skywalker and Tano," The word "interrupted" is used twice very close together; vary your word choice.
    • Addressed.
  • "Scintel refused to listen, though, and Dooku killed her, but Skywalker and Tano managed to escape, headed for Kadavo." Too many commas; makes the article choppy and ruins the flow. Reword.
    • Addressed.
  • "Fearing that the liberation of the slaves might prove him a liar," How would it prove him a liar?
    • Because he lied that the Jedi had killed the Togrutas. It is mentioned in the article. "Meanwhile, rumors spread that the Separatists had captured the people of Kiros, despite Dooku's efforts to cover his tracks by lying that the Jedi had killed them."
  • "At some point, Onyx decided to capture the creature called blixus." Any info about why he decided to do this?
    • He just kept the creature aboard when the Jedi attacked him. It is never stated why he captured it in the first place. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 09:47, August 18, 2010 (UTC)
  • Well done. IFYLOFD (Floyd's crib) 23:18, August 17, 2010 (UTC)
A quick one by Farl
Prepare to be savaged...
  • The lead should be expanded a bit, as it currently has little to no information summarized from "Biology and appearance" and "Society and culture."
    • Done.
  • The infobox lists brown hair as a possibility, yet this is not mentioned under "Biology and appearance."
    • Added.
  • Be careful with captions: Only use sentence-final punctuation if the caption itself is a complete sentence.
    • I believe the captions are used that way now. Could you point out which one(s) is/are incorrect?
  • Who considered them "honorable?" Perhaps specify whose POV this is.
    • Addressed.
  • Throughout, the word "Zygerrian" is used a bit too frequently. Can you replace every third use or so with a synonym, such as "the species" or "members of the species"?
    • I tried to vary it a bit.
  • The plural of Togruta is variously given in the article as Togruta and Togrutas, so please be consistent.
    • Addressed.
  • What does the term "spaced out" mean? Do you mean "spaced"? Either way, can you include a brief description of what this entails?
    • Addressed.
  • Can you tell who the authors of their various appearances were in the BTS? It would let us know who was responsible for developing the species.
    • Addressed.
  • That's it; nice job. More species please! :) ~ SavageBob 19:42, August 27, 2010 (UTC)
    • Thank you. I'll try to do more species occasionally ) QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 19:28, September 3, 2010 (UTC)

Comments

Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 19:48, October 6, 2010 (UTC)