- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.
Wynssa Fel
(5 Inqs/0 Users/5 Total)
Support
Havac 23:48, 13 February 2008 (UTC)- Green Tentacle (Talk) 22:23, 14 February 2008 (UTC)
- StarNeptuneTalk to me! 11:23, 18 February 2008 (UTC)
-- Darth Culator (Talk) 03:33, 21 February 2008 (UTC)- Greyman(Paratus) 17:02, 22 February 2008 (UTC)
Oppose
This is rather POV. Please reword: "a quality not surprising in one raised among the strict Chiss"- Why on earth is that POV? She was raised among strict Chiss and, unsurprisingly, was capable of being disciplined and military. I don't get it. Havac 00:47, 18 February 2008 (UTC)
- The objection is, admittedly, thin, but consider the other vantage point of someone perhaps thinking it is surprising, that after living among the Chiss she should have defiantly adopted an attitude opposite of their strict nature, for ex. At any rate, I feel it would serve better to say "a quality mirroring her upbringing," or whatever. Toprawa and Ralltiir
- Mirroring is just more awkward. It's not like people are going to have a hard time understanding the point of the sentence, and I think you're overanalyzing the whole thing. The sentence works fine. Havac 02:31, 18 February 2008 (UTC)
- The objection is, admittedly, thin, but consider the other vantage point of someone perhaps thinking it is surprising, that after living among the Chiss she should have defiantly adopted an attitude opposite of their strict nature, for ex. At any rate, I feel it would serve better to say "a quality mirroring her upbringing," or whatever. Toprawa and Ralltiir
- Why on earth is that POV? She was raised among strict Chiss and, unsurprisingly, was capable of being disciplined and military. I don't get it. Havac 00:47, 18 February 2008 (UTC)
Avoid ending consecutive sentences the same way: "becoming familiar with much of the material stored there"- OK. Havac 00:47, 18 February 2008 (UTC)
This sentence is unnecessarily long and difficult to read. Please break it up and/or reword: "Her mother was briefly embarrassed by Fel's impertinence..."- OK. Havac 00:47, 18 February 2008 (UTC)
Please remove this unknown: "though what Wynssa Fel's situation was at that time remains unclear"Toprawa and Ralltiir 23:12, 17 February 2008 (UTC)- If you're going to be that way. Havac 00:47, 18 February 2008 (UTC)
Comments
- And that's all the Fel kids. Havac 23:48, 13 February 2008 (UTC)