Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Wraith Squadron (redux review)

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a Reduxed Featured article. The result of the discussion was Featured article status kept. Please do not modify the page.

Wraith Squadron (redux review)

  • Redux comments: Article was Reduxed per INQ Meeting 54. Reason: Over 80 kb of new information added following a Mercy Kill update.
  • Date added: December 16, 2012
  • Changes since last review: diff

(2 Inqs/3 Users/5 Total)

Support

  1. Makes me want to write up some X-Wing noms :P Supreme Emperor (talk) 04:33, May 16, 2013 (UTC)
  2. Inqvote Cade GalacticRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit Calrayn 20:20, June 2, 2013 (UTC)
  3. Inqvote Excellent patience throughout, and has achieved the feat of making me start to reread the entire Wraith series. - Sir Cavalier of OneFarStar(Squadron channel) 10:45, June 19, 2013 (UTC)
  4. Trip391 (talk) 03:31, August 22, 2013 (UTC)
  5. Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 19:02, September 20, 2013 (UTC)

Object

Cadeth
  • I've noticed that your character naming is a little sporadic throughout - a lot of characters, Ton Phanan especially, are referred to by their full, first, or last names at various places throughout the article. Shouldn't you make those consistent?
    • It's more consistent now. For readability/clarity purposes, the naming convention is not truly consistent (and shouldn't be IMO), but I'm happy to discuss any further changes you feel need to be made on a case-by-case basis. Atarumaster88 Jedi Order (Talk page) 15:55, March 20, 2013 (UTC)
  • The BTS references need to be converted to {{WebCite}}.
  • Other than that, good work. Cade Calrayn GalacticRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit 18:53, January 30, 2013 (UTC)
    • These are on my list, thanks. Atarumaster88 Jedi Order (Talk page) 03:19, February 9, 2013 (UTC)
      • With regards to the character naming, Jesmin Ackbar is more frequently mentioned by full name due to the repeated appearances of Gial Ackbar in the prose. The other adjustments are in progress. Atarumaster88 Jedi Order (Talk page) 02:30, February 18, 2013 (UTC)
      • A similar convention occurs with Lara Notsil, only in the segment where her ostensible brother, Tavin Notsil, is mentioned. Atarumaster88 Jedi Order (Talk page) 02:00, February 19, 2013 (UTC)
      • A similar convention occurs in the YVW section, where both Luke and Mara Jade Skywalker are named with their full name since both Jedi are present in the mission to Coruscant. A preference for full name is also used in sections where multiple Solos are mentioned. Atarumaster88 Jedi Order (Talk page) 17:46, March 1, 2013 (UTC)
  • Maybe an article for the unsafe safe house and the tapcaf safe house on Coruscant?
  • Also, you can make use of the new duplicate-linking tool in the toolbox section of the sidebar. You have to enable it in Preferences first though. Cade GalacticRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit Calrayn 05:29, April 26, 2013 (UTC)
  • Other than that, it's great. Cade GalacticRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit Calrayn 16:33, April 3, 2013 (UTC)
Glancing by
  • Should the Gray Squadron temporary designation be mentioned and bolded in the intro?
  • It might be a good idea to further sub-section the "Members" section, i.e. Antilles and the original roster under something like ===Original roster=== and then further additions subsectioned as necessary. Currently there are a lot of subsections without much apparent organization.
    • Hmm. There's three major sub-divisions I can think of here: the Zsinj-era/GCW Wraiths, the YVW-era new Wraiths, and then the 40 ABY Wraiths. I could also distinguish the original roster from people like Castin Donn and Shalla Nelprin? Would those three/four sub-sections be enough? Do you have a preference between the 3 or 4? Atarumaster88 Jedi Order (Talk page) 14:47, March 27, 2013 (UTC)
      • I think chronology and dates would be a good option—even if there are some overlaps, some subdivision would be helpful. CC7567 (talk) 14:28, March 29, 2013 (UTC)
        • I've taken a stab at it; let me know what you think and I'll make the necessary adjustments. Atarumaster88 Jedi Order (Talk page) 21:55, April 2, 2013 (UTC)
  • Not required by policy, but ideally all non-templated citations should use {{WebCite}}. CC7567 (talk) 20:08, March 9, 2013 (UTC)
Cav
  • citing personnel expenses, - should that be "personal" expenses, or am I missing the point of the phrase?
    • It should be "personnel." Ackbar was saying that pulling experienced pilots and commandos from other units would be a heavy drain on New Republic personnel. I can rephrase if you think it's unclear. Atarumaster88 Jedi Order (Talk page) 16:18, April 23, 2013 (UTC)
  • Can we get some ranks thrown in for characters upon first appearance? Especially since Antilles' bet involves his eventual promotion.
  • Context on Jesmin and Eurrsk upon first mention is needed.
  • Really shouldn't have started this close to midnight my time. Will carry on tomorrow. - Sir Cavalier of OneFarStar(Squadron channel) 23:17, April 3, 2013 (UTC)
  • Infobox - under headquarters, would the Borleias base during the Vong war be appropriate, as well as the bases the Wraiths used during Mercy Kill?
  • Article for the Teradoc mission needs to be created and linked to.
  • Daala's ouster - can you be specific as to who is meant here? The ouster was effectively the Jedi Order, but if I read the article right, Maddeus was the one to give Loran the assignment - and he wasn't introduced until Mercy Kill.
  • Do we have an article for the ersatz Rogue Squadron?
  • Context for Tycho, Wes and Hobbie upon first mention
  • I think the location of Folor Base could be worked into the article
  • Do we have articles for the kleptomaniac and Talz candidates?
    • We had the klepto; I made one for the Talz. Both are linked now. Atarumaster88 Jedi Order (Talk page) 21:48, April 24, 2013 (UTC)
  • Context for Runt and Sarkin upon first mention.
  • Later, Ekwesh revealed to Tainer that he had multiple minds or personalities, - please clarify whether this is a species trait to the Thakwaash or a mental disorder unique to the pilot
  • Context for Doldrums
  • Under "Surprise attack", you mention the fighters are ground while transport are launching, then go on to detail how the NR forces didn't light their engines until the Implacable went for the diversion. Please clarify.
    • It was misworded. Corrected to say that the transports were "loading," not "launching." Atarumaster88 Jedi Order (Talk page) 19:40, June 2, 2013 (UTC)
  • Where did the smuggling compartment for the Lunatic come from?
  • What weapon is Piggy using? A blaster or a chopped down laser cannon?
    • He uses both in his boarding action. Tried to clarify that. Atarumaster88 Jedi Order (Talk page) 18:25, April 30, 2013 (UTC)
  • Do we have articles for the Governors of Viamarr and Xartun? And the transparisteel factory? And the Durasteel one on Belthu?
  • Do we have article for the various locations mentioned on Storinal? Also, the Wraith attack on Zsinj's facility.
    • Linked in the two bunkers. When you refer to attack on Zsinj's facility, are you referring to Xartun, Belthu, or something on Storinal? I linked in the Xartun-article. Atarumaster88 Jedi Order (Talk page) 20:17, June 2, 2013 (UTC)
  • The cyborg that attacked the Wraiths on Coruscant - is there an article for him?
  • General objection - can you insert some relevant images in the areas that are text-heavy? Stuff like related characters like Zsinj, or planets, etc.
  • Up to piracy. Will continue shortly. - Sir Cavalier of OneFarStar(Squadron channel) 15:19, April 4, 2013 (UTC)
  • Article required for the navigator of the Barderia
  • Eventually, though, eight of the Wraiths in X-wings returned to Mon Remonda for at least one mission, in order to maintain the illusion that the squadron was still stationed on the Mon Calamari Star Cruiser with the rest of Han Solo's anti-Zsinj task force. - it is never established that the Wraiths were assigned to the Mon Remonda in the first place, and a cover was required.
  • Article for the asteroid base and its take over during the Bastion raid is needed. Also, the subsequent battle/skirmish over Halmad.
  • More detail on the Second Death ruse is needed.
  • Teradoc stuff - the intention of the Wraiths mission to Ryvester should be mentioned earlier. Also, how was putting the explosive in the vault and the fact the bomb had pressure sensors connected?
  • Context for Yuuzhan Vong, Yuuzhan Vong War.
  • landed safely on the now unrecognizable planet - why was the planet unrecognizable?
  • Article is needed for the battery pack droids.
  • A direct link between Durra posing as "Avvan Hocroft" should be made before detailing Loran's mission to inserted references to the individual in the GA database.
  • Articles are needed for the various bases/ safehouses used by the Wraiths throughout Mercy Kill.
  • More detail on the third Wraith group is needed, including member names, etc.
  • In general, I think the linking could do with a solid going over, and context is needed in some places. We may already have a lot of the articles I'm asking to link to, but since I haven't read the Wraith books in a long time, I'd have to reread them to be sure any linking I added was correct.
  • You've made me want to reread all the Wraith books now. - Sir Cavalier of OneFarStar(Squadron channel) 15:04, April 5, 2013 (UTC)
    • Good! Thanks for your patience. I've been busy, but I should have time this week to work extensively on this article. Atarumaster88 Jedi Order (Talk page) 16:23, April 23, 2013 (UTC)
Supreme
  • Minor question, should the Officer in Flight Officer be capitalized, as the article it links to is Flight officer.
    • Yes, fixed this. Atarumaster88 Jedi Order (Talk page) 21:36, May 9, 2013 (UTC)
      • What I meant was that Flight Officer links to a page that redirects to Flight officer. Should all instances of Flight Officer be switched to Flight officer? Supreme Emperor (talk) 13:32, May 10, 2013 (UTC)
        • If used before a name, it should be capitalized as "Flight Officer," just as "Leftenant Colonel Sanders" or "Major General Payne" is fully capitalized. However, "Flight officer" is the correct title for the article in question, because it's just a common noun. If we were referring to five flight officers being commissioned, then the words would be lower-cased. Wikia requires article titles to have initial caps, so the article title is "Flight officer" rather than "flight officer." Atarumaster88 Jedi Order (Talk page) 17:41, May 10, 2013 (UTC)
  • Stopped at First Loss, will continue reviewing tomorrow. Supreme Emperor (talk) 03:17, May 3, 2013 (UTC)
  • Stopped at Face Off Supreme Emperor (talk) 04:38, May 4, 2013 (UTC)
Exiled Jedi
  • Intro
    • "while Loran was also able to implicate the Maddeus as a co-conspirator with Thaal." There's not some reason for there to a "the" in front of Maddeus is there?
  • Folor Base
    • "Many years earlier, the pilot, Kissek Doran..." Could you provide a link to the year that this happened. Doran's article says it happened in 0 BBY, but it's not sourced.
      • The Kissek Doran article used to say he died "circa 0 BBY", because that's when the Yellow Aces were disbanded. However, in 2012, an anon removed the circa, leading to a misleading article. I have reverted that edit and double-checked the sources, but there is no date listed for Doran's death. Atarumaster88 Jedi Order (Talk page) 16:52, September 9, 2013 (UTC)
  • Face off
    • "which Antilles kept concealed within its dust cloud." What does the its refer to in this sentence?
  • General Comments
  • I will resume my review at Hunting Zsinj.--Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 04:16, August 22, 2013 (UTC)
  • Saffalore
    • "Tainer quickly found and disabled the security system around one of the roof accesses, granting them access into the facility..." Could you remove on of the accesses/access from the sentence?
  • Intelligence
  • A little context on the Black Fleet Crisis and the Caamas document would be nice.
  • Mission to Coruscant
    • Saying that Nyax was formerly Ismaren doesn't really give much context since Ismaren is not described in the article.
    • Please provide some context on the voxyn.
  • War's end and beyond
    • Please provide more context for Jagged Fel, Gilad Pellaeon, and the Killiks.
    • Please provide some context about Daala becoming Chief of State. The only other information in the article beforehand is about her being an Imperial admiral.
  • I will continue at Reformation.--Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 00:48, August 23, 2013 (UTC)
  • Reformation
    • Is there a reason why you mention and describe the use of the fruit delivery vehicle two sentences in a row? I think that you could condense it some on the second mention.
  • I will continue at Organization.--Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 03:12, September 4, 2013 (UTC)
  • Organization
    • I just want to make sure, are the two mentions of Tainer freeing the Ugly Truth in the Demolitions section different instances?
  • I will continue at Members.--Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 04:41, September 10, 2013 (UTC)

Comments

  • Due to the size of the article, a thorough link check might be in order. I realize Cade took care of it, but I found another double link in the history section. Just to be sure. :P Also, I took care of some formatting issues, but I need confirmation regarding "Jedi/Hapan alliance." Does the source say that, Ataru? I changed the front slash to an ndash. JangFett (Talk) 14:29, July 15, 2013 (UTC)
    • No, those words aren't explicitly used. I updated the refs to include a secondary reference. Atarumaster88 Jedi Order (Talk page) 16:40, July 22, 2013 (UTC)