- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.
White Witch
(7 Inqs/0 Users/7 Total)
Support
Green Tentacle (Talk) 22:01, 5 November 2007 (UTC)- Thefourdotelipsis 23:10, 5 November 2007 (UTC)
- Cull Tremayne 23:56, 5 November 2007 (UTC)
—Graestan(This party's over) 01:53, 7 November 2007 (UTC)- Not a character! Yaaaay! Darth Culator (Talk) 13:12, 7 November 2007 (UTC)
- Imperialles 15:08, 8 November 2007 (UTC)
- Greyman(Paratus) 22:01, 9 November 2007 (UTC)
Oppose
There seems to be a lot of redundant use of the pilot in the third paragraph of the construction section.However, the racers had made enemies of the Fromms who feared that details of the secret base might leak to rival gangs. This sentence reads a little awkwardly.Tig tried to stop their escape, ordering his droid cruisers outside to await them, disabling his sentry droids to prevent them attacking the cruisers. I'm not sure what it is about this sentence, but I had to read it a couple times to make sense of it.They succeeded in damaging the engine on the Sand Sloth but a weapons malfunction on the rundown shuttle allowed the speeder racers to escape before they could destroy them. A weapons malfunction on the Fromm's shuttle? Before who could destroy them? Minor clarification of who's chasing who could be helpful.While she worked on repairing the White Witch, BL-17 attempted to gas Kea, making it look like an accident. Might be better to lead off this sentence with "While Kea worked on repairing..." Somewhat confusing on the first read through, as no mention of Kea doing the repairs was mentioned beforehand. Cull Tremayne 23:32, 5 November 2007 (UTC)- All fixed. I think. Green Tentacle (Talk) 23:49, 5 November 2007 (UTC)
Comments
Approved by Inquisitorius 22:04, 12 November 2007 (UTC)
- Oh come on, you can't expect me to break up that voting. :-p -- Ozzel 21:32, 10 November 2007 (UTC)