Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Vargi

< Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations
The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Vargi

  • Nominated by: Menkooroo 06:39, May 17, 2011 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: Crap. Thought it'd be less than a thousand. Sorry.

(4 Inqs/2 Users/6 Total)

Support

  1. Inqvote IFYLOFD (Floyd's crib) 00:55, May 19, 2011 (UTC)
  2. Wookiee comprador! ~SavageBOB sig 17:13, May 28, 2011 (UTC)
  3. Inqvote Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research (Comlink) 01:56, June 4, 2011 (UTC)
  4. Per IRC review. Kilson(Let's have a chat) 15:42, June 7, 2011 (UTC)
  5. Inqvote --Eyrezer 09:19, June 13, 2011 (UTC)
  6. Inqvote Included some semicolons in the serial comma use for clarification. They may not be totally necessary, but I thought it might help. You're welcome to change that around. Toprawa and Ralltiir 20:40, June 15, 2011 (UTC)

Object

  • Intro: A little context on why Vargi betrayed his people is needed.
    • Added more detail on his motivation.
  • Intro: Also, why would Vargi develop a grudge against Chewie when Mallatobuck cast him out? Context please.
    • There isn't really an answer to this, unfortunately --- The Essential Guide to Alien Species establishes that Malla casts Vargi out, Wookiee World shows Vargi and Chewie as disliking each other, and Vargi's CSWE entry explains that he wanted to enslave everyone in Chewie's family. They're disparate threads that only kind of fit together; with that said, you're right in that I didn't word the end of the intro's first paragraph very well. I've reworded it so that it doesn't imply that x follows from y. Let me know if it's OK.
  • Again, in the body, why did Vargi betray his people?
    • The sentence beginning with "Vargi's goals were to..." is from the EGTAS and is all that's known on the subject. Let me know if I should reword it or move it a few sentences earlier or something.
  • "and Vargi at one point met her husband, Chewbacca." The phrase "at one point" makes it sound like Vargi met Chewbacca could have met at any time, not just on Vargi's visit. Please change.
    • There isn't any indication that Vargi did meet Chewie during that visit --- Wookiee World shows them as knowing and disliking each other, and the EGTAS is the only source to discuss Vargi's visit with Malla. It's in an excerpt from a letter that Malla writes to Chewie while he's off fighting the rebellion, which suggests that it wasn't during Vargi's visit that he met Chewie but rather at some other undefined point in time. The canon's not really clear, but if there's a better way for me to word it, let me know.
  • In the intro, Vargi is mentioned as having formed a grudge against Chewbacca which drove his desire to enslave Chewie's family, but in the body, its said that he simply dislikes Chewie. Please address this.
    • Changed the wording in the intro. "Grudge" may have been a little speculative, so I've stuck with "dislike."
  • Well done. IFYLOFD (Floyd's crib) 00:41, May 18, 2011 (UTC)
    • Thanks for the review! Let me know if there's any rewording or rearranging or anything still to be done. Menkooroo 04:36, May 18, 2011 (UTC)
Savaged…
  • I've only read the intro so far, but can you mention Lumpy and Itchy by name there rather than glossing them? More later. ~SavageBOB sig 00:09, May 25, 2011 (UTC)
    • You got it. Menkooroo 09:02, May 25, 2011 (UTC)
  • The first paragraph of Bio jumps around a bit; Vargi joins the Trandoshans, betrays his people, then we learn why, then the Trandoshans agree to let him help them. Can you reorder these events chronologically? Motive, proposal to Trandos, acceptance, betrayal?
    • Re-ordered (link to all the changes I made). I removed the part about the Trandoshans agreeing, as the original source doesn't actually state that they accepted his proposal. Presumably they did, but the OS only mentions his proposal and motives.
  • A bit of context on Life Debt is needed, I think.
    • Rather than distract from the focus of the article, I've removed the reference to a life debt altogether; for an article about Vargi, I think it's sufficient to note that Han was Chewie's Human companion.
  • A bit of context on Moff Darcc is needed so we understand why toppling him would end the slave trade. Was he in charge of Kashyyyk at the time?
    • Check it out!
  • Does the comic provide any notion of why other Wookiees would join up with Vargi?
    • None. They're just the token band of outlaws who support the badguys because the badguys need cronies.
  • The "Slaver" section seems a bit play-by-play; maybe give it a once-over and see what you think. That's all! Nice one. ~SavageBOB sig 15:33, May 25, 2011 (UTC)
    • Tightened it up a bit --- check it out and let me know what you think. Let me know if there's anything specific you'd like to see go. Thanks for the review! Menkooroo 14:54, May 28, 2011 (UTC)
      • I trimmed a bit of window dressing about them drinking in Chewie's home; restore it if that's somehow important in a way I overlooked. Otherwise, no problemo. :) ~SavageBOB sig 17:13, May 28, 2011 (UTC)
        • Thanks! See my most recent edit summary. I think it's important to give an idea of what's going on inside the house while they wait; otherwise it just seems like the Wookiees are standing there staring angrily at each other. And it's said with just seven words! :) Menkooroo 14:42, May 29, 2011 (UTC)

Comments

Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 20:40, June 15, 2011 (UTC)