Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Varel DeVay

The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Varel DeVay

• Nominated by: Cavalier One^{(Squadron channel)} 20:54, August 22, 2011 (UTC)
• Nomination comments: Current GA. DarkStryder. Nuff said.

(4 Inqs/2 Users/6 Total)

Support

1. IFYLOFD ^{(Floyd's crib)} 00:13, September 3, 2011 (UTC)
2. Wonderful. Menkooroo 10:52, September 22, 2011 (UTC)
3. Jinzler 10:56, September 22, 2011 (UTC)
4. Nice man JangFett ^(Talk) 16:25, October 20, 2011 (UTC)
5. 1358 ^(Talk) 10:56, October 22, 2011 (UTC)
6. Green Tentacle ^(Talk) 18:57, October 25, 2011 (UTC)

Object

Hey DeVay

• A couple small ones: "Khzam ordered all available personnel to respond to the distress call, and they arrived to find DeVay cornered by the creatures, fending them off with a vibrospade." reads more from the perspective of the other crewmembers of the ship rather than DeVay's perspective. Could the narrative here stay in the hydroponics bay with her? Mention that she was fending them off with a vibrospade before stating that the others arrive?
  • Changed.
• Can you link xenobiologist somewhere in the article's body?
  • Sneakily added to "intended career" @P
• A question rather than an objection: Is it not worth noting in a sentence at the end of the bio that they eventually took down Sarne?
  • Added a little something.
• Since BTS mentions both The Kathol Outback and The Kathol Rift, maybe some wider context on The DarkStryder Campaign is in order? There's missing contect on The Kathol Rift, and this might additionally be a good way to give it. Menkooroo 07:07, September 21, 2011 (UTC)
  • How's that? - Cavalier One^{(Squadron channel)} 10:00, September 22, 2011 (UTC)

Comments

Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 18:57, October 25, 2011 (UTC)