Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Valin Horn ("Hal")

The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Valin Horn ("Hal")

• Nominated by: Havac 02:58, 4 May 2008 (UTC)
• Nomination comments:

(5 Inqs/0 User/5 Total)

Support

1. Thefourdotelipsis 01:23, 24 May 2008 (UTC)
2. -- Darth Culator ^(Talk) 02:26, 3 June 2008 (UTC)
3. Lord Hydronium 07:25, 6 June 2008 (UTC)
4. Green Tentacle ^(Talk) 13:11, 7 June 2008 (UTC)
5. Toprawa and Ralltiir 02:11, 11 June 2008 (UTC)

Oppose

1. I don't understand why everything is being sourced by sentence, and not statement, as it should be. E.g. "While his name was originally given as Hal Horn, and that name is used in almost all sources about Horn, X-Wing: The Krytos Trap states that "Hal" was only a nickname, and he retained the given name Valin.[1][2]" -- AdmirableAckbar ^(Talk) 23:26, 8 May 2008 (UTC)
   • Because I don't believe in sourcing every single word. Otherwise I'd be sticking tags in every other word anytime I fuse material. It's not like sentences are a vast unit. I mean, I don't need "Horn was a CorSec^[1] inspector^[2] who for years^[3] pursued^[1] Booster Terrik^[2]." Havac 01:06, 9 May 2008 (UTC)
     • Well, the chances of that being necessary are quite slim. But even if you did have to, I'd prefer it over sticking them all at the end, because the reader is going to be unsure which reference is sourcing what. I'm going away for a while, so I'll strike, but I'd like you to think about it, or something. -- AdmirableAckbar ^(Talk) 07:01, 9 May 2008 (UTC)
2. From the Chron-O-John of Green Tentacle:
   • The hunt for Moranda Savich: "he was needed in a vital mission to catch the Rebel who had just recently bombed a building" Is this the same as the important Rebel mentioned earlier? If not, "a Rebel" might be better.
   • The hunt for Moranda Savich: "Horn received another call, and was started to hear a nearby thud" Should that be "startled"?
   • The hunt for Moranda Savich: "However, he showed the manager a holo of his wife, not of Savich; when the manager claimed not to recognize her" Horn's wife or the manager's? He presumably wouldn't recognize Mrs Horn.
   • Black Sun bust: "Knowing that Savich would be looking for gralish liqueur" He knows this how? Suspecting or something might be better unless you want to explain how he knows. Green Tentacle ^(Talk) 00:08, 7 June 2008 (UTC)
3. From the Merciless Hammer of Toprawa:
   • Please add the Bossk Databank entry to your source list. Horn is mentioned

within. Toprawa and Ralltiir 00:19, 7 June 2008 (UTC)

1. • Little context for Jedi Credit, please: "Horn kept his father's Jedi Credit"
   • Brief descriptor for Fel, please: "an attempted rape from Soontir Fel."
   • You should clarify here that Horn didn't know it was her immediately, and that only after smelling the liquor on her did he recognize her: "However, in the middle of Savich's instructions, she got up and introduced herself to Horn as an old friend, hugging him."
   • Let's not speculate. Please reword as a matter of fact, or otherwise remove: " it is more likely that he helped them escape than that he actually turned any over to the Empire, as he was deeply upset with CorSec's role in hunting Jedi."
   • Please reword to avoid using this cliche twice in one paragraph: "but the pair kept an eye"
   • A little explanation of why this stiletto is significant and how they used it to get out would do a lot to clarify: "that Thrawn had placed a molecular stiletto on the bars to their cell. They cut their way out"
   • Please explain why Thrawn turned on them and is now helping them: "where Thrawn helped them defeat the guards"
   • I would like to see a little bit added to the P/T or maybe P/A explaining his knack for picking up on minute details in his searches - the liquor on Savich, noticing from the comments made by Isard's bodyguard that they weren't truly from the Rim, etc.
   • Your BTS claims his canonical age is unclear, yet your article canonically specifies an exact year. Given this, your BTS description of "unclarity" doesn't exactly match what you have. Please remedy this somehow
   • Also, if you're going to keep the birth year in the article, please put it in the infobox as well Toprawa and Ralltiir 20:21, 10 June 2008 (UTC)

Comments

Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 02:11, 11 June 2008 (UTC)

• No, I'm not voting for this one, either. Get over it. Havac 02:58, 4 May 2008 (UTC)
  • So why didn't you vote for this one? Cull Tremayne 05:36, 4 May 2008 (UTC)
    • Something about being a stubborn bastard, I think. Havac 06:30, 4 May 2008 (UTC)
• The B&W pic in the P/T might be a lot better for the infobox, since A) It's more front on, and B) It's not a repeat of an image already in the article. Thefourdotelipsis 00:25, 24 May 2008 (UTC)