Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Syndor

The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Syndor

Nominated by: Jonjedigrandmaster ^(Talk) 23:48, September 6, 2010 (UTC)
Nomination comments: A minor character from Fate of the Jedi: Allies who appears very briefly two times. Also, yes, I'm more suprised I got the word count this high than you are, trust me. (p.s. Yay FotJ/WP:LE!)

IFYLOFD ^{(Floyd's crib)} 20:17, September 19, 2010 (UTC)
I've been meaning to support this.—Jedi Kasra (comlink) 03:22, September 20, 2010 (UTC)
Your interest in dark side things will get you into grave trouble, Jedi Master… :P—Tommy ⁹²⁸¹ 02:19, October 7, 2010 (UTC)
Menkooroo 15:03, October 18, 2010 (UTC)
— Fiolli 04:22, October 22, 2010 (UTC)
Green Tentacle ^(Talk) 20:34, October 22, 2010 (UTC)

~~Context needed on Luke Skywalker in the intro.~~
- I hought common practice was that we don't have to add context for the big three—all of our readers are going to know who Luke was. Jonjedigrandmaster ^(Talk) 16:11, September 19, 2010 (UTC)
  - Hmm, I always played it on the safe side and put context for everyone. But whatever.
~~"Syndor pretended to take his demotion lightly, but she still suspected that he planned to betray her." Reword: it sounds like Syndor was the one who suspected that he would be betrayed.~~
- I'm not sure how—I already said Syndor is male, so saying "she suspected" shouldn't infer that Syndor was the one who suspected, especially when I next say "he planned to betray her." Jonjedigrandmaster ^(Talk) 16:11, September 19, 2010 (UTC)
That's all. Good work. IFYLOFD ^{(Floyd's crib)} 21:05, September 18, 2010 (UTC)
- Thanks for the review, Floyd! Jonjedigrandmaster ^(Talk) 16:11, September 19, 2010 (UTC)

~~Context on Luke Skywalker in the intro.~~
- Alright, done.
"A member of the Lost Tribe of Sith that had been isolated on Kesh for 5,000 years…" This makes it sound like the original group of LTOS had survived the millennia and that Syndor was a part of them.
- Hopefully this'll read better now.
  - Perfect.—Tommy ⁹²⁸¹ 02:19, October 7, 2010 (UTC)
Good stuff. Try to used past-tense as opposed to present as often as possible, and also keep in mind that POV can be rectified by slight shifts in the prose (ie: "Syndor was informed by the female Sith Sumar," instead of "The female Sith Sumar, who had been attending to Faal, informed Syndor…") Enjoyable read.—Tommy ⁹²⁸¹ 01:55, October 7, 2010 (UTC)
- Will do; many thanks for the review Tommy! Jonjedigrandmaster ^(Talk) 02:04, October 7, 2010 (UTC)

Really excellent work. Just a quick question, though --- does Allies specifically identify him as originally being the Captain of the ship? The leading quote reads "You are once again Commander", rather than "once again Captain". Is there a discrepancy worthy of a bts note, maybe? Menkooroo 02:51, October 18, 2010 (UTC)
- Nope, on page 167 Taalon says to Faal, "I've informed Captain Syndor of his new position as your second-in-command." Thanks for the review! Jonjedigrandmaster ^(Talk) 14:57, October 18, 2010 (UTC)

"Syndor, Faal, and the crews of both Sith ships were then brought to trial before Calrissian and Jedi Knight Jaina Solo, both of whom had just arrived in-system." Why Lando and Jaina? They seem an unusual choice of judges without context. Green Tentacle ^(Talk) 18:05, October 22, 2010 (UTC)
- I've added it now, although I do protest slightly: the reason I hadn't done so before was because I feel that it deviates too far off topic, being overly context-y and not entirely relevant to Syndor. Anyway, thanks for the review, GT! Jonjedigrandmaster ^(Talk) 18:20, October 22, 2010 (UTC)
  - I don't mind if you shrink it down a bit from that and just say they were selected due to their impartiality. Saying nothing just raises questions if you don't know the source. Either way, I'm happy to strike. Green Tentacle ^(Talk) 20:34, October 22, 2010 (UTC)

Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 20:34, October 22, 2010 (UTC)