- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.
Stafuv Rahz
(5 Inqs/2 Users/7 Total)
Support
- Five kadams high. Thefourdotelipsis 13:17, 15 April 2008 (UTC)
Why did it have to be lizards? - Lord Hydronium 09:44, 16 April 2008 (UTC)- -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 12:36, 16 April 2008 (UTC)
- -- Darth Culator (Talk) 01:28, 18 April 2008 (UTC)
- Greyman
(Talk) 18:28, 20 April 2008 (UTC) 
Graestan(Talk) 00:48, 22 April 2008 (UTC)- Green Tentacle (Talk) 18:31, 23 April 2008 (UTC)
Oppose
The second paragraph in the bio jumps from Vader's dislike for Lizardman to his mission to Kar'a'katok quite suddenly; can some sort of "some time after his appointment" or something be added in between to remedy this? Other than that, an interesting read. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 21:08, 15 April 2008 (UTC)- Added. Thefourdotelipsis 07:58, 16 April 2008 (UTC)
- From the Forest of Goodwood:
Please remember to add "was a male Gektl [in this case]" to the intro. This should be done for all character articles; if I'm mistaken, please advise.- I can't find the rule, if it exists. And there are many precedents of that not being in an article.
- Added it myself.--Goodwood (Alliance Intelligence) 12:09, 16 April 2008 (UTC)
- Added it myself.--Goodwood
- I can't find the rule, if it exists. And there are many precedents of that not being in an article.
"Imbued with vaulting ambition, Rahz effectively sold the freedom of his species for his own gain when offered Emperor Palpatine a way to bypass Hoszh Iszhir's shield in exchange for a commission in the Imperial Military." Ponderous and awkward, please rephrase and/or divide up this sentence.- I think it was the ass end of that article that was unwieldly. It's been exorcised.
If possible, please elaborate on why guerrerite was so valuable.- Not possible, sorry. No information in the source whatsoever, only that it's valuable.
"Rahz, caring naught for his fellow Gektls, traveled to Imperial Center, hoping for an audience with Emperor Palpatine." This is also a bit awkward.- I'd like to get a second opinion on this one. Generally, with these things, I can see where the problem is with my prose, but I'm just not seeing it here.
- After finding said second opinions, I've removed the third comma. Thefourdotelipsis 08:31, 16 April 2008 (UTC)
- I'd like to get a second opinion on this one. Generally, with these things, I can see where the problem is with my prose, but I'm just not seeing it here.
"Rahz was assigned to Lord Darth Vader" Any particular reason why you use the simple title of "Lord" instead of "Dark Lord of the Sith"? I fixed the intro one but seeing this in the bio made me wonder.- Well...that's how he's addressed. In many, many sources. It's his title, as much as "Dark Lord of the Sith."
- Resolved via IRC.--Goodwood (Alliance Intelligence) 12:27, 16 April 2008 (UTC)
- Resolved via IRC.--Goodwood
- Well...that's how he's addressed. In many, many sources. It's his title, as much as "Dark Lord of the Sith."
Frankly I'm flabbergasted that you couldn't work in Luke's famous "Go ahead and cry!" quote. ;-)- Go ahead and cry! :P Thefourdotelipsis 07:58, 16 April 2008 (UTC)
- Go ahead and chop up some onions! :-P ;-) Goodwood (Alliance Intelligence) 12:09, 16 April 2008 (UTC)
- Go ahead and chop up some onions! :-P ;-) Goodwood
- Go ahead and cry! :P Thefourdotelipsis 07:58, 16 April 2008 (UTC)
- TIMMMMMBERRRRR!!!--Goodwood (Alliance Intelligence) 22:03, 15 April 2008 (UTC)
- From the squalid cubicle of Graestan:
Give the significance of Ampotem Za in the intro.- Added.
"supervision of control over" reads very awkwardly. Please reword.- That would be me not paying attention. ;) Fixed.
Some introduction for Vader in the bio, please.- Added his military title. Thefourdotelipsis 07:45, 21 April 2008 (UTC)
Two of the quotes seem to be doubly italicized. Can you either explain or rectify?- He's yelling in both of them. So, they're italicized in the source, which means they're unitalicized here. Thefourdotelipsis 07:45, 21 April 2008 (UTC)
"in preparation for the rescue attempt that Vader hoped for" – Also a bit awkward.- I've trimmed that a bit, sing out if it still needs fixin'
I added a link to TIE/ln starfighter. If this is incorrect (I don't have the source), please change it.- No, that's right. Thanks. Thefourdotelipsis 07:45, 21 April 2008 (UTC)
- Graestan(Talk) 23:51, 20 April 2008 (UTC)
Comments
Approved by Inquisitorius 18:33, 23 April 2008 (UTC)
- I'd be much obliged if someone could replace the images with the colourized versions from Dark Horse. Thefourdotelipsis 13:17, 15 April 2008 (UTC)
- "Colourized" -- interesting blend of American and real English, there, 4dot. Will you be doing more Aliens in the Empire articles? (I've got dibs on Gog :P ) -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 21:08, 15 April 2008 (UTC)
- Nah, that's it for them, unless Part 3 gives us something interesting. Thefourdotelipsis 07:58, 16 April 2008 (UTC)
- "Colourized" -- interesting blend of American and real English, there, 4dot. Will you be doing more Aliens in the Empire articles? (I've got dibs on Gog :P ) -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 21:08, 15 April 2008 (UTC)