Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Spirit protector

< Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations
The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Spirit protector

  • Nominated by: —Tommy 9281 Wednesday, May 18, 2011, 10:20 UTC
  • Nomination comments: Be careful what you wish for...unless of course it's golden straw.

(4 Inqs/2 Users/6 Total)

Support

  1. Inqvote Pre-nom reviewed. IFYLOFD (Floyd's crib) 00:53, May 19, 2011 (UTC)
  2. "size and girth increased as it moved in the young man's direction" ...riiiiight. Darth Trayus(Trayus Academy) 07:40, May 19, 2011 (UTC)
  3. Inqvote Nice job. Toprawa and Ralltiir 02:20, June 19, 2011 (UTC)
  4. Inqvote Green Tentacle (Talk) 21:21, July 18, 2011 (UTC)
  5. Inqvote Menkooroo 03:27, July 19, 2011 (UTC)
  6. Reviewed this earlier and forgot to support. Kilson(Let's have a chat) 03:52, July 19, 2011 (UTC)

Object

Perhaps J.K. Rowling read some TotJ before writing Chamber of Secrets
  • Two sentences in the intro start with "For more than a (insert length of time here)". Could you vary one of them?
    • Addressed.
  • "For more than a decade the spirit protector corrupted the unsuspecting Dovos until finally, under the Master's secret guidance, he created a suit of armor imbued with Sith magic." This kind of makes it sound like the spirit created the armor. Perhaps change "he" to "the blacksmith" or whatever you think is best?
    • Addressed.
  • In both the intro and the body you begin referring to Dovos as a Sith apprentice without ever specifying that the spirit adopted him as one, which makes it sound like he was a Sith apprentice before ever being under the influence of the spirit.
    • Addressed.
  • I'm not intimately familiar with the original sources, or any of TotJ to be honest, but is a mention of Null's activities after this point warranted? Anything about King Ommin? I'm only asking because Null's article seems to indicate that Ommin contacted the apprentice via the spirit.
    • Null's article has some factual inconsistencies (that being one of them) itself that I have been ironing out of late, but I did add a bit about his post-protector activities.
  • The prose is a wee bit flowery, but beautiful in its own right. You impress me, sir. Darth Trayus(Trayus Academy) 21:37, May 18, 2011 (UTC)
    • Heh, the story is pretty flowery itself, so a natural byproduct of writing the character I guess :P. Thanks for the review, DLT. Please advise if anything further is required.—Tommy 9281 Wednesday, May 18, 2011, 23:28 UTC
Just a few things
  • The body doesn't seem to explicitly connect the spellbook to the armory --- would it be possible for it to early on establish that the former is inside the latter, similar to how the intro does? Currently, when Dovos reaches the bunker, it's not entirely clear that that's where the book is housed or where it's stolen from.
    • Addressed.
  • The infobox asserts "Alien," which means definitely non-Human, but the bts states that no species is given. Should that field maybe be left blank?
    • No, because the source itself asserts "Alien."
      • Ah, OK. But if the source specifies that the character is Alien, then it's currently infobox-only info that should also be in both the body and the intro. The body states that the spirit protector can change its appearance to an alien one, but the infobox explicitly states that the character is Alien (non-Human). The bts statement "with no specification of species" should be corrected, too, as "Alien" is a slight specification. Menkooroo 05:01, July 18, 2011 (UTC)
        • Addressed.
  • Per precedent, the armory where the book is stored seems article-worthy. I've gone and redlinked it, but now there's an intro redlink.
    • Addressed.
  • The bts reads a little oddly --- it says that the spirit protector "appeared" in a sourcebook entry, but the "Sources" section has a (First mentioned) rather than a (First appearance). As short IU narratives in WEG sourcebooks generally get treated as appearances (eg Gottu and His Vibroaxe, The Briefing of Red Group), shouldn't the ones in the TOTJ Companion be too? Although they're untitled, they're still short stories.
    • I've changed to "1st," but how can I call it an appearance if it has no title? I have no problem making the change if you can figure it out.—Tommy 9281 Sunday, July 17, 2011, 21:30 UTC
      • This is a tricky one. I think I'll take it to the Senate Hall and see what the community thinks. Menkooroo 05:01, July 18, 2011 (UTC)
        • No, it's not something that requires a community consensus or even involvement. I will consult the Inquisitorius.—Tommy 9281 Monday, July 18, 2011, 08:23 UTC
  • Good job! Exclamation mark! :) Menkooroo 15:49, July 17, 2011 (UTC)

Comments

  • This one is more of a question than an objection: this article speaks in specific reference to the spirit, with no mention of the actual Sith Master himself in a chronological sense. By that, I mean that the article starts by talking about the "The spirit of a deceased Sith Master" instead of a Sith Master who eventually died, but whose spirit remained bound to the book. Although I understand that most of the information we have on the character is centered around his spirit, the same could be said of Freedon Nadd, whose article is arranged so that it speaks first of the living individual, and then later of the individual's surviving spirit. I'm just curious as to the reasoning behind the presentation. Darth Trayus(Trayus Academy) 21:37, May 18, 2011 (UTC)
    • With Freedon Nadd, there are sufficient details about his actual life that his story can be told from his living standpoint and then transition to his spiritual POV. Of this character's actual living life, we know nothing, so we can only write from the POV of his spiritual existence. I initially didn't refer to it as "the spirit of a deceased Sith Master," because we don't know if it was one before it died. Technically, however, it can be referred to as a Sith Master at any point, because we do know by the time the character is introduced to us that it was Null's Master. If that makes sense.—Tommy 9281 Wednesday, May 18, 2011, 23:28 UTC

Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 04:02, July 19, 2011 (UTC)