Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Spilferithimus-narlamos

The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Spilferithimus-narlamos

Nominated by: ~Savage 16:04, January 1, 2013 (UTC)
Nomination comments: Late Barn Burner entry. I was hoping to get this one in before the ball dropped, but he pocketed the ball before I realized it. ~Savage 16:04, January 1, 2013 (UTC)

~~There probably needs to be a touch of context on Jabba in the intro. Just saying "crime lord Jabba the Hutt" should be sufficient.~~
~~Can we get a touch of context on the Polyanarchy? Is it a legislature?~~
"Why not sell the coordinates to the Rebels in exchange for them running a little errand: to travel to the Ugors' home, the Paradise system, steal an important artifact, and throw the entire star system into disarray?" I'm not really sure that this works in an encyclopedic tone. I'm kind of on the fence here. Thoughts?
~~Link to the Rebels' ship?~~
~~Take out the parenthetical in the P&T.~~
Nice work. IFYLOFD ^{(Floyd's crib)} 02:09, January 3, 2013 (UTC)
- Points 1 through 4 should be taken care of. We don't know much more about the Polyanarchy other than that it's a government. I think I agree about the question in there, so I've changed that bit. As for the parenthetical, it's part of the official name of that particular item, so I think it's probably worthy keeping. Thanks for the review, and let me know what you think about this last point. ~Savage 14:41, January 3, 2013 (UTC)
  - Well if its part of the official name, its fine. IFYLOFD ^{(Floyd's crib)} 23:05, January 3, 2013 (UTC)

~~The quote in the "Paradise found" section is rather confusing. Any chance you could make it more clear who says what? Cade Calrayn 22:52, March 4, 2013 (UTC)~~
- Short of using a different template that the MoS won't allow in this case (one that identifies each speaker by name before what they say), I'm not sure it'll get much better, but take a look. ~Savage 11:33, March 7, 2013 (UTC)
- Forgot to add: thanks for the review! :) ~Savage 18:58, March 7, 2013 (UTC)
  - I meant maybe saying something like "GrrKack and Splifer-something, after the former discovers..." That'll make it clear who's saying what. Cade Calrayn 19:01, March 7, 2013 (UTC)
    - Ah, OK. How's that? ~Savage 03:52, March 11, 2013 (UTC)

Despite some difficulty communicating due to his thick accent when speaking Basic—led the Rebels to a star system known as J21-Z64 to the ship's computers, but as Paradise to the Squibs and Ugors. - looks like you're missing some words here after "Basic".
Spilferithimus-narlamos, knowing the consequences should be discovered, hid. - what were the consequences? - Sir Cavalier of One^{(Squadron channel)} 13:40, March 7, 2013 (UTC)
- Ah, good eye. We're only really told that bad things will happen if he's discovered, so take a look to see if it's any better. And thank you for your comments! ~Savage 18:58, March 7, 2013 (UTC)

~~The last sentence in the first intro paragraph could probably be broken into two sentences.~~
~~Wouldn't hurt to link to the Battle of Yavin when talking about the Death Star in the body.~~ Commander Code-8 ^{G'day, mate} 22:36, April 1, 2013 (UTC)
- I actually rather like that sentence, although it is a bit long. I hope you'll consider letting it stand. As for the Battle of Yavin, is that what you had in mind? Thanks for the review! ~Savage 00:58, April 2, 2013 (UTC)
  - I'll let the sentence be then. Commander Code-8 ^{G'day, mate} 01:09, April 2, 2013 (UTC)

Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 22:48, April 7, 2013 (UTC)