Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Sirak

< Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations
The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Sirak

  • Nominated by: -- Darth Xadún 11:29, 16 September 2008 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: A double-bladed lightsaber-wielding Zabrak? How original…from WP:NSW

(5 Inqs/0 Users/5 Total)

Support

  1. Inqvote Much improved. Chack Jadson (Talk) 22:11, 19 November 2008 (UTC)
  2. Inqvote Thefourdotelipsis 05:59, 25 November 2008 (UTC)
  3. Inqvote Cull Tremayne 06:39, 25 November 2008 (UTC)
  4. Inqvote Jaina Solo(Talk) 13:26, 28 November 2008 (UTC)
  5. Inqvote -- Darth Culator (Talk) 02:26, 8 December 2008 (UTC)

Object

  1. BtS needs sourcing. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 12:14, 16 September 2008 (UTC)
    • Adjudsted so that the Bts is sourced within the paragraph. Darth Xadún(Consult the Holocron) 21:33, 19 September 2008 (UTC)
      • It's still not sourced. "Karpyshyn has acknowledged this error, and requested that readers consider Vaapad to read Juyo instead" isn't self-sourcing. Neither is the info about Mace creating Vaapad. You need a ref note with the specific blog link, and possibly another one about the creation of Vaapad. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 21:58, 19 September 2008 (UTC)
        • It should be good now.—Tommy9281Red lightsaber (Peace is a lie) 06:28, 20 October 2008 (UTC)
  2. Jaina Solo:
    • "He was rumored amongst some of the apprentices that Sirak had begun training under the Korriban Academy's Headmaster, Qordis, some twenty years before."--Reword and expand.
      • Addressed.—Tommy9281Red lightsaber (Peace is a lie) 06:28, 20 October 2008 (UTC)
    • "During his time at the Academy, Sirak rose through the throng of students to become the top apprentice there. He won the admiration of two fellow Zabraks within the Academy, the twins Yevra and Llokay, though he was by far their superior in skill. The two apprentices followed Sirak constantly, giving the appearance of obedient servants following their master. Compared to the other students, his power was so great that several apprentices believed Sirak was the Sith'ari, an embodiment of the dark side itself."--POV; please reword.
      • Addressed above, I believe.—Tommy9281Red lightsaber (Peace is a lie) 06:28, 20 October 2008 (UTC)
    • "Academy/academy"--Please choose one.
      • Addressed.—Tommy9281 Red lightsaber (Peace is a lie) 02:11, 6 October 2008 (UTC)
    • "Furious and desperate for vengeance, Sirak plotted ways of killing Bane. His opportunity presented itself when Githany, a deserter of the Jedi Order and Bane's other secret teacher alongside Kas'im, sought Sirak out to kill Bane. Along with his Zabrak kin Llokay and Yevra, he waited in the library while Githany lured Bane to them. However, Githany had also betrayed the Zabrak trio, furnishing Bane with his lightsaber to defend himself. The former Jedi killed the twin Zabrak with her lightwhip, and Bane decapitated Sirak even as he begged for mercy.”--This could be reworded to make the paragraph flow better.
      • Addressed, I believe.—Tommy9281Red lightsaber (Peace is a lie) 06:28, 20 October 2008 (UTC)
    • "Although there were other apprentices who used this style of saber…"—Style of saber?
      • Addressed.—Tommy9281 Red lightsaber (Peace is a lie) 02:11, 6 October 2008 (UTC)
    • "Bane had spent much time in his secret training learning the techniques of the double-bladed saber that both Sirak and Kas'im wielded, seeking to understand it and so nullify it's advantage of being unfamiliar to most students." Sounds confusing; please reword.
      • Addressed.—Tommy9281Red lightsaber (Peace is a lie) 06:28, 20 October 2008 (UTC)
    • In the last paragraph of Rivalry with Bane, you use "seeking" twice.
      • Addressed.—Tommy9281 Red lightsaber (Peace is a lie) 02:11, 6 October 2008 (UTC)
    • "All the apprentices were granted the title of Dark Lord of the Sith, declared equal in the Brotherhood, and furnished with their own lightsabers.” Isn’t there a word missing here?
      • Addressed, I believe.—Tommy9281 Red lightsaber (Peace is a lie) 02:11, 6 October 2008 (UTC)
    • ”He was the most powerful of the three Zabrak studying at the Academy during the end of the New Sith Wars."—POV
      • The book does describe him as the strongest of the three.—Tommy9281Red lightsaber (Peace is a lie) 22:52, 21 October 2008 (UTC)
        • That's still POV, as worded. If you say that he was deemed to be, was considered as, or believed himself as the most powerful, that's NPOV. Atarumaster88 Jedi Order (Talk page) 20:31, 23 October 2008 (UTC)
          • Should be good now.—Tommy9281Red lightsaber (Peace is a lie) 05:39, 24 October 2008 (UTC)
    • Tense issues in BtS. --Jaina Solo(Talk) 23:50, 5 October 2008 (UTC)
      • Addressed. Thank you for the read, Jaina.—Tommy9281Red lightsaber (Peace is a lie) 06:28, 20 October 2008 (UTC)
  3. The introduction's triple paragraphs are disproportionate to the size of the article itself. It could be cut back by one paragraph. "Although there were other apprentices who used this type of saber, Sirak's the student Bane noted it was only Sirak that wielded the weapon with any kind of skill, apart from the Twi'lek Blademaster of the Academy, Kas'im." - I'm aware that this is some kind of mistake, I'm just not sure what it should be. Thefourdotelipsis 09:15, 15 November 2008 (UTC)
    • The second part of this objection seems to have been rectified at some point.—Tommy9281Dark Side Master TotG (Peace is a lie) 23:37, 24 November 2008 (UTC)
  4. Most of the "real-life" parts of the BtS should be in present tense. E.g. "this is his only canonical appearance to date," etc. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 18:07, 27 November 2008 (UTC)
    • Addressed. Thank you for the review, AdmirableAckbar.—Tommy9281Dark Side Master TotG (Peace is a lie) 04:57, 6 December 2008 (UTC)

Remove nomination (Inquisitorius vote only)

  1. Inqvote Objection left unaddressed for over a month. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 13:08, 19 October 2008 (UTC)
  2. Inqvote If Xadun decides to return, I'll have no problem striking this, but move it or lose it otherwise. Toprawa and Ralltiir 18:03, 19 October 2008 (UTC)

Do not remove nomination (Inquisitorius vote only)

  1. Inqvote Tommy appears to have taken it over and made some work on it. Atarumaster88 Jedi Order (Talk page) 20:31, 23 October 2008 (UTC)
    • I hope you don't misunderstand our colleagues' "move it or lose it" message as conveyed by removal votes. I almost voted to remove this one, too, until I saw it had been worked on since the vote began. Graestan(Talk) 03:36, 24 October 2008 (UTC)
      • No, of course not. I was contemplating voting with them as well, when I saw Tommy's note. I decided to wait a few days to see if any objections were addressed, and since they were, I figured I would set up the "don't remove nom" vote just to make sure people were aware that it was no longer lying dormant. I have no problems with moving idle noms off the FAN page. ;-) Atarumaster88 Jedi Order (Talk page) 05:48, 24 October 2008 (UTC)
  2. Inqvote If Tommy has agreed to take it over, then I see no reason to remove it. Greyman(Talk) 15:08, 15 November 2008 (UTC)

Comments

Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 19:17, 9 December 2008 (UTC)
  • I will take over his noms n his absence. Please give a little time to begin fully addressing the objections. Thank you.—Tommy9281Red lightsaber (Peace is a lie) 18:57, 19 October 2008 (UTC)
    • Several objections have been addressed, but the objector has not stricken despite attempts made to contact them. Please advise on a course of action.—Tommy9281Dark Side Master TotG (Peace is a lie) 23:37, 24 November 2008 (UTC)
  • I'd reconsider using the term "coup dé grâce", just because it borders on POV language. Cull Tremayne 06:39, 25 November 2008 (UTC)
    • Addressed. Thank you for the review, Cull.—Tommy9281Dark Side Master TotG (Peace is a lie) 06:52, 25 November 2008 (UTC)