Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Seelah Korsin

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Seelah Korsin

  • Nominated by: IFYLOFD (Floyd's crib) 22:04, August 8, 2012 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: FP:LT ain't nothin' to fuck with.

(3 Inqs/4 Users/7 Total)

Support

  1. [Redacted by administration] Plagueis327 (talk) 22:10, August 8, 2012 (UTC)
  2. Inqvote Cavalier OneFarStar(Squadron channel) 21:30, October 8, 2012 (UTC)
  3. Inqvote CC7567 (talk) 14:44, October 29, 2012 (UTC)
  4. Cade Calrayn GalacticRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit 05:17, October 31, 2012 (UTC)
  5. Inqvote Menkooroo (talk) 09:32, November 8, 2012 (UTC)
  6. Trak Nar Ramble on 05:27, November 19, 2012 (UTC)
  7. This vote will complete the review process. --Eyrezer (talk) 08:15, November 21, 2012 (UTC)

Object

Cav
  • In the bio, you mention that her skeletal remains were found, but the BTS says dead body. Which is correct? - Cavalier OneFarStar(Squadron channel) 10:34, October 4, 2012 (UTC)
Attack of the Clone
  • "to lead the Sith sick wards": what exactly do you mean here? Do you mean that she's trying to make the Sith sick, or that she's leading Sith healers or something, or something else entirely?
    • Basically the Sith hospitals. They're specifically called "sick wards" in Paragon.
  • "of the entire contingent of Pureblood Sith that still lived": what do you mean by "still lived"? It sounds like more context is needed here.
    • Changed.
  • Linking has been a little inconsistent so far. Please take some time to check the rest of the article before I continue with "Stranded on Kesh." CC7567 (talk) 19:46, October 9, 2012 (UTC)
  • "When the body of a Human dead, Wroth's assistant, was found": something's not reading right with the "Human dead"; please check.
    • Changed to "victim".
  • In the second paragraph of "Quest for vengeance," there are a number of sentences that start with "as." Please vary the sentence structure somehow.
    • Holy hell. I did not notice that. Fixed.
  • "Cornered, Gloyd detonated a proton detonator, bringing down the entire room. Korsin awoke in her old sick ward, having permanently lost the use of her legs." There's a very quick time jump that doesn't seem to match the actual chronology of the story. Could you ease the transition somehow?
    • Fixed.
  • It sounds like the "death" infobox field needs to be filled out, since we know that she eventually died.
    • Done.
  • Please also clarify in the intro that she died; it isn't made explicit.
    • Really? I thought "live out the rest of her days" made it pretty clear.
      • Yeah, nix that; it should be fine. CC7567 (talk) 03:38, October 27, 2012 (UTC)
  • "She was in her finest form" comes off as rather overly gratifying. Is this directly stated in the source? If not, I would suggest toning it down a bit.
    • Changed.
  • "from that of the old ways": what exactly is the "that" of the old ways? Do you mean separating the Lost Tribe from the "old ways," or something else? It's not very clear here. CC7567 (talk) 14:26, October 22, 2012 (UTC)
  • "However, what came next was completely unexpected." POV issues; it wasn't entirely unexpected by all involved parties—Vaal, for example, knew that something was going to happen. Please be more specific here as to whom it wasn't expected. CC7567 (talk) 03:38, October 27, 2012 (UTC)
Pedicures
  • "In 5,000 BBY, Korsin, along with an infant Jariad, accompanied Devore on the Sith dreadnaught" is reffed to Crosscurrent, which seems to imply that Crosscurrent establishes that Seelah and Jariad accompany Devore on the mission. I think reffing everything before "Sith Dreadnaught" to Precipice would be more accurate.
    • That's actually what I meant to do. Fixed.
  • Can you give a little more context on the mission to Phaegon III? The war, the Sith Invasion fleet? Especially since Category:Sith military personnel is used; just what military that is should be included in the article proper.
    • Added some more context.
  • I'm wondering if you can introduce the uvaks earlier in the article --- when it says that they flew to Tetsubal, the reader will probably think "starship" and might then wonder why they're stranded.
    • Done.
  • I think the P&T could use a little more related to the Red Sith purge. It's mentioned as an example of her ability to execute cunning plans, but it definitely seems important enough to be its own, independent point --- the P&T just seems incomplete without dwelling on the fact that she willingly engineered genocide. The next sentence does say that she detested the Red Sith; adding it onto there would work, I think.
    • Done.
  • There's BTS fodder in JJM's notes for Paragon, including a fantastic candidate for a BTS leading quote. Possibly more fodder here with the note on Seelah's fate tying into something that was originally established by the FOTJ authors. Menkooroo (talk) 12:17, October 31, 2012 (UTC)
    • Added. Thanks for the review. IFYLOFD (Floyd's crib) 23:12, October 31, 2012 (UTC)
      • Great! Sorry I didn't think of this before --- based on that last note of JJM's regarding Fate of the Jedi, is there an indirect mention of Seelah to be found in one of the FOTJ novels? Menkooroo (talk) 00:19, November 1, 2012 (UTC)
        • Actually, I think I might be mistaken --- it looks like what JJM is saying is that one of the FOTJ novels established the general rule of any Grand Lord's spouse being killed after the Grand Lord dies. Does that sound right? Menkooroo (talk) 23:48, November 6, 2012 (UTC)

Comments