Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Sedriss QL

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Sedriss QL

(5 Inqs/1 Users/5 Total/INQCON 5)

Support

  1. Damn Germans with their Fact Files. IFYLOFD (You will pay the price for your lack of vision!) 03:43, 7 May 2009 (UTC)
  2. Inqvote Chack Jadson (Talk) 12:07, 21 May 2009 (UTC)
  3. Inqvote Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research (Comlink) 15:15, 25 May 2009 (UTC)
  4. Inqvote—Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG (No quarter given, all exits sealed) 00:24, 17 June 2009 (UTC)
  5. Inqvote Sedriss who? Atarumaster88 Jedi Order (Talk page) 15:28, 17 June 2009 (UTC)
  6. Inqvote --Eyrezer 20:58, 22 June 2009 (UTC)

Object

  1. What is Floyd doing here?!?!?:
    • "As a Force-sensitive youth, Qaga Lok had been a mercenary, and at some stage he killed several Imperial officers." Doesn't flow well.
      • Tweaked slightly, let me know if it needs more.
    • Tell why the Inquisitorius took him away in the intro.
      • That's pretty much covered in the following sentences.
    • Explain what Shadow Hand is in the intro.
      • Done.
    • "Sedriss was also trained to utilize a lightsaber." I don't like how you have this end the paragraph. You basically explain what he did in training, and then end it with "Oh yeah, he can use a lightsaber too."
      • Tweaked.
    • "The Emperor also tasked his new Executor with ensuring that no supposedly loyal Imperial agency seize control of the Empire, should Palpatine die again." Reword, because the sentence sounds like Palpatine and the Emperor are two different people.
      • Fixed.
    • What do you mean by "arming the New Republic"? Was he giving them weapons?
      • Yes. I'm not sure what else it could mean.
    • In the first paragraph of the Balmorra section you use "return" multiple times. Vary it up a little bit.
      • Varied.
    • "In no time, he had already struck the adept down, before slaying Sa-Di." Reword. "In no time, he had already" doesn't really go together well.
      • Tweaked.
    • Why would the Emperor want Leia's child/to array the military against Luke?
      • Elaborated.
    • Good job. IFYLOFD (You will pay the price for your lack of vision!) 03:57, 6 May 2009 (UTC)
  2. "he agreed [to a contract]" This is just a minor thing I don't get. Who agreed to a contract? Sedriss, or the governor? Otherwise, very nice work. Chack Jadson (Talk) 19:21, 20 May 2009 (UTC)
  3. Blacklist:
    • I think the distinction needs to be made that Sedriss was trained in the dark side, rather than just "the Force".
      • Done.
    • Please decide whether it'll be "Dark Side Adepts", "dark side adepts", etc.
      • Decapped.
    • That's all, good work. I kinda liked Sedriss, until "QL" was added to his name.—Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG (No quarter given, all exits sealed) 01:14, 11 June 2009 (UTC)
      • Eh. He was kinda a useless jerk either way. :P Thefourdotelipsis 00:09, 17 June 2009 (UTC)
  4. From the desk of Atarumaster88
    • Inconsistent capitalization of clone labs.
      • Fixer uppered.
    • A little context on the Ysanna on first mention.
      • Done.
    • That's all. Very clean. Have a Super Terrific Friendly Un-frustrating day. Atarumaster88 Jedi Order (Talk page) 16:32, 11 June 2009 (UTC)
  5. Eyrezer:
    • "agreed to honor their agreement" Can you modify one of the agrees?
      • Oui. Done.
    • In the 2nd para, "Luke Skywalker, Organa Solo's brother, who had considerably been a dogged and persistent enemy of Palpatine for many years." The use of considerably sounds a bit off there to me. Please reword. Apart from those, a well written article. --Eyrezer 09:13, 17 June 2009 (UTC)

#**I moved "considerably." Thefourdotelipsis 01:55, 22 June 2009 (UTC)

Comments

Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 20:58, 22 June 2009 (UTC)