Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Second Duel in the Iron Citadel

The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Second Duel in the Iron Citadel

Trayus
- ~~2 small things for now:~~
  - ~~You should note in the aftermath that over 300 years later Gnost-Dural recounted the events of the duel for a record in the Jedi Archives.~~
    - Ahh, I guess that even I am not above an oversight every now and then, lol. Addressed.—Tommy ⁹²⁸¹ 00:15, November 9, 2010 (UTC)
  - When talking about the discrepancies in the BTS, make note of Rob Chestney's words here, where he states that due to the in-universe timeline, Gnost-Dural's reports are influenced by 300+ years of conflicting histories and so errors are likely. Darth Trayus^{(Trayus Academy)} 16:06, November 7, 2010 (UTC)
    - Addressed. Thank you very much for the review, my friend. Please advise if anything further is required.—Tommy ⁹²⁸¹ 00:15, November 9, 2010 (UTC)
- I'll hopefully have an opportunity to give an in-depth look through soon, as what I've seen thusfar is a good read. Darth Trayus^{(Trayus Academy)} 01:41, November 9, 2010 (UTC)

~~Are the two dudes both talking to Aleema in the leading quote? If so, can you mention it in the attribution? It kinda looks like Ulic is talking to himself and Kun is confused about Ulic's sex. :^P~~
- Lol, addressed.
~~Maybe some context on the Krath in the intro? What's in the body (dark side cult) is great.~~
- Addressed.
I'm not too familiar with the Dark Wars, but as they're a series of conflicts, I'm not entirely sure if this sentence makes sense in the singular: "...the Jedi Civil War in 3,959 BBY and the Dark Wars that was born from the ashes of its predecessor." (emphasis mine)
- Addressed.
Can you give a little more on the Great Hyperspace War? Even just mentioning that it was in 5,000 BBY. It's currently not really clear that it's a different war than the one involving Kun and Qel-Droma.
- Addressed.
That's all, my friend. Good stuff! Menkooroo 00:34, December 6, 2010 (UTC)
- Thank you for the review, Menkooroo. Please advise if anything further is required.—Tommy ⁹²⁸¹ 13:51, December 10, 2010 (UTC)

Does any source literally refer to this as the "Second Duel in the Iron Citadel"? The way the article is currently formatted asserts the fact that its first appearance identifies this as such. If that's correct, then the article is fine. Otherwise, it needs a {{1stID}} tag someplace.
- It doesn't so I hit it with the {{Conjecture}} tag.
~~In the Prelude quote, should the "and" after the period not be capitalized?~~
- Addressed.
Would it be appropriate to link to Force energy here? The article definition doesn't seem analogous, so I thought I would leave it up to you to decide: "quickly incapacitated with a blast of Force energy."
- Hmm, I'd say no currently and to be honest I don't think that we even need that article because, based on the information therein, it is just about the energy of the Force. That should be merged with the The Force article IMO.—Tommy ⁹²⁸¹
~~Can we find at least one spot to insert a paragraph break in the final BTS paragraph to breakup the large block of text?~~ Toprawa and Ralltiir 20:06, December 14, 2010 (UTC)
- Addressed. Thanks for the review, Toprawa. Please advise if anything further is required.—Tommy ⁹²⁸¹ 12:26, December 21, 2010 (UTC)

~~Intro: "…occurred later in the year 3,997 BBY…" "Later" seems to imply something was earlier. Would "late" be better?~~
- Addressed.
Aftermath: "…and so were the Sith Lords who instigated the Jedi Civil War in 3,959 BBY and the war that was born from the ashes of its predecessor." Few things with this. The ashes of its predecessor bit is confusing. Try to avoid links like "[[Revan|Sith]] [[Darth Malak|Lords]]" as neither of those links makes sense out of context. If they're worth mentioning then say "Sith Lords Revan and Malak" or something. I would actually suggest that this bit isn't needed anyway since those events weren't really related to the duel. Would it not be sufficient to note that Kun was defeated and then go on to the Gnost-Dural bit? Green Tentacle ^(Talk) 16:14, December 19, 2010 (UTC)
- That was added by an overzealous friend of mine :P, but I've since addressed it. Thanks for the review, GT. Please advise if anything further is required.—Tommy ⁹²⁸¹ 12:30, December 21, 2010 (UTC)

Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 22:49, December 21, 2010 (UTC)

Many thanks to Xicer9, whose relentless source/appearance additions prompted me to spin gold out of straw yet again. Good looks, homie!—Tommy ⁹²⁸¹ 01:59, November 5, 2010 (UTC)
Could you use a Cite_web template for the link to the TOR forums? Other than that, fantastic job as usual, Tommy.—Jedi Kasra (comlink) 14:58, November 14, 2010 (UTC)