Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Sauvax

< Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations
The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Sauvax

(5 Inqs/1 Users/6 Total/INQCON 5)

Support

  1. Another excellent showing from Skippy. Looking forward to the next S alien up your sleeve. ~ SavageBob 15:09, 28 August 2009 (UTC)
  2. Inqvote—Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG (Talk) 22:11, 28 August 2009 (UTC)
  3. Inqvote --Eyrezer 01:27, September 12, 2009 (UTC)
  4. Inqvote Good stuff. -- —Harrar (Cut the comm chatter) 16:01, September 16, 2009 (UTC)
  5. Inqvote CC7567 (talk) 00:07, September 20, 2009 (UTC)
  6. Inqvote -- Darth Culator (Talk) 00:58, September 21, 2009 (UTC)

Object

  1. Blacklist:
    • "As the planet Leritor had little to offer to the galaxy," Why did Leritor have little to offer the galaxy? Just a brief note of context, please.
      • Changed. Galactic community did not care about it, no commercial interests...
    • Is there a name for their language?
      • Yes. Sauvax. Already specified.
        • That's actually not what I meant, but since I can't remember what I did mean, no worries.
    • I'm not familiar with this so correct me if I'm wrong: should "kuuvan" when referring to the tribe be capitalized?
      • No, as the original source does not do it.
    • If "tevelor" is its own designation, I think you may want to create a stub or something regarding that.
      • Added.
    • "The Sauvax, as said, hunt, fish and grow their food, which also included sea brackens, sea urchins, anemonae and crustaceans, in different states of cooking." Not sure where, but this single sentence needs to be added to a paragraph.
      • Modified.
    • "Aliens and Humans commonly saw Sauvax as an aggresive and hasty people, fortunately without imperialistic tendencies." Fortunately for whom? This seems a bit POVish.
      • Changed.
    • "they respected their own politeness norms." Not sure what you mean by that.
      • Modified.
    • "An accused collective..." What is an "accused collective"? Please explain a bit.
      • Modified.
    • I'll stop here for now. You may want to contact someone, probably Master Jonathan for a proper copy-edit.—Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG (Talk) 01:40, 26 August 2009 (UTC)
      • Thanks for the review; I'll try a copy-edit myself first if I can find some time, but I'll keep Jonathan in mind. And, congratulations on the August 4th event.--Skippy Farlstendoiro 07:03, 26 August 2009 (UTC)
        • Tommy asked me on IRC last night, so I went ahead and did a full copyedit. I was actually halfway through it last night, but Wikia broke. (What the kriff is a Stomp_Exception supposed to be anyway?!?) —Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 23:13, 27 August 2009 (UTC)
          • Thank you then, Jonathan; more thanks in your talkpage. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 06:26, 28 August 2009 (UTC)
  2. Prepare to be savaged...
    • The Sauvax images in the article seem to show that they have "skin" tones beyond red. I see shades of blue and pink/salmon as well.
      • Added (to the template)
        • Can you add this to the "Biology and appearance" part too? It's a major part of their appearance, I think. ~ SavageBob 22:26, 27 August 2009 (UTC)
    • Is crab an in-universe term? If not, we need to choose an equivalent.
    • "While fearsome looking": I feel we need to qualify this more. Fearsome-looking to whom? Humans, presumably?
      • Added.
    • The lead sectio-n should be beefed up a bit. I'd suggest adding a paragraph that summarizes the article's history section, particularly the roleplaying adventure.
      • Try now.
    • "It was also threatening for Humans who coexisted with Sauvax in the same ecosystem." I'm not sure what you mean here.
      • Modified.
    • I realize what you're doing, but I don't think the name-dropping of other species is necessary. For example, if the Sauvax are primitive but still able to use galactic-standard technology, just leave it there. There's not much need for a comparison to Jawas, Ewoks, and Gamorreans. This happens in a few other places, too.
      • Hmm... What if I leave that info in the footnotes? Have a look now. Then say you don't like it, then I'll remove the info and you'll have to check it again.
    • Some notes on diet are appropriate for the "biology" section as well. Maybe use "biology" to say what they eat and "culture" to say how they eat it?
      • Added.
    • What do you mean by "primitive professional careers"?
      • Try now.
    • What do you mean by "the suspicious party"?
      • Changed. I'm not familiar with legal terms...
        • You might also try "the accused". ~ SavageBob 22:26, 27 August 2009 (UTC)
    • The material that comes from the roleplaying adventure, at least from the point where the player characters become involved, should be set off with the {{RPG}} and {{Endgame}} templates. Then, any possible variations need to be explained in the "Behind the scenes" section.
      • No, because: First, I did not specify the different scenarios the PC's can follow (Maybe they visited a kuuvan, maybe they didn't, so I don't say); only those that are canonically specified (Rynalla is seen with the Bracers in an image, so she got them). Sfecond: Ultimate Alien Anthology specifies events happening after the adventure, indicating the results of it (Similar to sources mentioning that "allies of Adar Tallon defeated Jodo Kast").
        • OK, if you do it this way it's fine. However, I think it would still be a good idea to note any potential variants in the adventure in the BTS section. ~ SavageBob 22:26, 27 August 2009 (UTC)
          • Added, while I don't think they are very interesting. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 08:09, 28 August 2009 (UTC)
    • What do you mean by the "constant light of Rynalla's watchtowers"? Are these searchlights?
      • Yep. Added.
    • What do you mean by "they sometimes felt the need to explore terrains beyond the usual ecosystem of their species"?
      • Try now. The source wanted to give cause for RPG with outworld Sauvax, but I wanted to follow strictly the letter of the text.
    • These should all be relatively easy to fix. Good work so far! ~ SavageBob 02:59, 27 August 2009 (UTC)
      • I feel Sauvaxed. Savaged. Whatever. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 07:17, 27 August 2009 (UTC)
        • Well, it's getting less savage with each edit. :P ~ SavageBob 22:26, 27 August 2009 (UTC)
  3. Eyrezer:
    • Any chance of a pic of Sauvax meat from the non-canon comic?
      • Yes, but not today. I can offer you a pic of dead Sauvax today if you want. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 10:57, September 10, 2009 (UTC)
        • If there are any other pictures in Gamer, there should be plenty of room for it if you shuffle them around. --Eyrezer 11:34, September 10, 2009 (UTC)
          • Don't cross this objection yet; meal pic will be available next week. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 06:44, September 11, 2009 (UTC)
          • Your scorched Sauvax is ready. Bon appetit. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 15:28, September 11, 2009 (UTC)
            • Considering we cannot really see the meal at all, only the bowl, you might want to remove it. Either way, I've removed my objection. --Eyrezer 01:26, September 12, 2009 (UTC)
    • Have you checked the CSWE?
      • Apparently, not there. --Eyrezer 11:32, September 10, 2009 (UTC)
    • I've also added a few red links for you to clear. Sorry about that.
    • One more thought: is there enough info to create articles for the various other Sauvax involved? The female witnessm the farmer etc. --Eyrezer 10:12, September 10, 2009 (UTC)
      • No way, sorry. The tevelor is already here by the chitinous skin of his teeth. Jango's food would have more stuff for an article :( --Skippy Farlstendoiro 10:57, September 10, 2009 (UTC)
  4. Attack of the Clone
    • Please check or clarify your "and Rynalla the Bracers"; I can't understand what you mean by it.
      • Done.
    • Is there any chance that you can standardize the paragraph size of the article? It's a bit uneven at the moment. CC7567 (talk) 03:34, September 19, 2009 (UTC)
      • Done my best, but I wouldn't know how to use a five-line paragraph in every situation. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 07:52, September 19, 2009 (UTC)

Comments