- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.
Roni von Wasaki
(5 Inq/2 User/7 Total)
Support
Thefourdotelipsis 11:13, 11 August 2007 (UTC)
Green Tentacle (Talk) 11:02, 14 August 2007 (UTC)
--Eyrezer 00:31, 15 August 2007 (UTC)- For he is the light side of the Force. —Jaymach Ral'Tir (talk) 09:25, 16 August 2007 (UTC)
Greyman(Paratus) 02:45, 17 August 2007 (UTC)
Atarumaster88 (Talk page) 04:35, 17 August 2007 (UTC)
- Hobbes15(Tiger Headquarters) 05:36, 18 August 2007 (UTC)
Oppose
He lived circa 20,000 BBY and had a lightsaber. But modern lightsabers weren't invented yet. This contradiction should be noted in Behind the scenes.-LtNOWIS 02:25, 12 August 2007 (UTC)- Fixed. Thefourdotelipsis 09:11, 13 August 2007 (UTC)
"Realizing that Wasaki was disturbed, the Rebels prepared to help him, but the Jedi suddenly went rigid as if once again encased in carbonite. Impervious to pain, Wasaki began to use the Force aggressively against the Rebels, with murderous intent. He snapped back out of his state and attacked the Rebels with his lightsabers. The Force-sensitive was able to subdue the Jedi, and disarm him." Huh? What Force-sensitive? The dark side manifestation? If so, that should be cleaned up. And what happens to him next? Is that how the story ends, he tries to kill the rebels, someone stops him, and it's over? The whole last paragraph should be cleaned up. Also, can Disturbance in the Force get a link if possible? The magazine in which the article (the only thing he appears in) should not be a red link. Chack Jadson Talk 02:32, 12 August 2007 (UTC)- The Force-sensitive previously mentioned to be a part of the Rebel group. And yes, that's how the story ends. Thefourdotelipsis 02:55, 12 August 2007 (UTC)
- Disturbance in the Force now has an article. --Eyrezer 07:29, 13 August 2007 (UTC)
- Objection adressed. Thefourdotelipsis 09:14, 13 August 2007 (UTC)
- The Force-sensitive previously mentioned to be a part of the Rebel group. And yes, that's how the story ends. Thefourdotelipsis 02:55, 12 August 2007 (UTC)
He is described as an errant Jedi early on. How was he errant?--Eyrezer 07:41, 13 August 2007 (UTC)- He journeyed from frontier sector to frontier sector. Thefourdotelipsis 09:18, 13 August 2007 (UTC)
- I'm going to be bold and change it to itinerant to avoid any "erroneous" ambiguity. --Eyrezer 23:20, 13 August 2007 (UTC)
- He journeyed from frontier sector to frontier sector. Thefourdotelipsis 09:18, 13 August 2007 (UTC)
"Wasaki was a practitioner of the unusual lightsaber technique wherein the user would wield both a standard sized saber and a smaller shoto, despite being primarily a law enforcer". This needs to be reworded. The last bit seems tacked on.--Eyrezer 07:41, 13 August 2007 (UTC)- Well...it's because the saber/shoto style was supposed to be more suited to duelling, which Wasaki wouldn't do a lot of...what do you suggest? Thefourdotelipsis 09:18, 13 August 2007 (UTC)
- I reworded it to make this clearer. Change it if it's not ok. --Eyrezer 00:31, 15 August 2007 (UTC)
- That's great, thanks. Thefourdotelipsis 08:25, 15 August 2007 (UTC)
- I reworded it to make this clearer. Change it if it's not ok. --Eyrezer 00:31, 15 August 2007 (UTC)
- Well...it's because the saber/shoto style was supposed to be more suited to duelling, which Wasaki wouldn't do a lot of...what do you suggest? Thefourdotelipsis 09:18, 13 August 2007 (UTC)
Most importantly, the intro is way too long in comparision to the rest of the article. It's like a third the length of the rest of the article.--Eyrezer 07:41, 13 August 2007 (UTC)- Which part of it do you think I should cut out, or cut down? Thefourdotelipsis 09:18, 13 August 2007 (UTC)
- Well, fixed. Thefourdotelipsis 09:57, 14 August 2007 (UTC)
- From the desk of Atarumaster88
The whole second paragraph of powers and abilities reads a little strangely. Can you reword this please?Source at least part of the infobox (especially the human part, as it is not ref'd in the article. Yes, I know it's single source, but consistency please)- That's all from me on this one. Have a Super Terrific Friendly Un-frustrating day. Atarumaster88
(Talk page) 14:50, 16 August 2007 (UTC)
My one problem is that "By allowing Wasaki to focus his mind trick on Drobo," seems a little unclear to me. Maybe change to "focus his mind powers," or something. I'm not exactly sure what's going on there. Once that is fixed, it'll get my vote. Hobbes15(Tiger Headquarters) 03:56, 18 August 2007 (UTC)
Comments
Approved by Inquisitorius 16:46, 18 August 2007 (UTC)