- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.
Red Nebula
(6 Inq/1 Users/7 Total)
Support
State of Grace. Thefourdotelipsis 10:53, 17 August 2007 (UTC)
--Eyrezer 03:51, 18 August 2007 (UTC)
Well played. --Imperialles 12:01, 18 August 2007 (UTC)
Damn Commie nebulae. - Lord Hydronium 07:59, 21 August 2007 (UTC)- Chack Jadson Talk 22:42, 21 August 2007 (UTC)
Green Tentacle (Talk) 09:55, 22 August 2007 (UTC)
Atarumaster88 (Talk page) 14:06, 24 August 2007 (UTC)
Oppose
Let me channel Ataru a bit. :PThe information in the line in this image doesn't actually seem to be anywhere in the article.Awkward sentence: "...some form of cosmic cataclysm caused the separation of the Red Nebula from the rest of the galaxy, causing it reside in an extra-galactic region."That bit with Han bringing the jewels needs a little clarification. Did Han swap fake jewels? I'd assume so, but the article isn't clear. And I'm not sure why the ship went into the sun. (Note: I see this is explained at the very end; I'd mention it here too for clarification.)"Seeing an opportunity to avenge her brother's death, she planned to somehow deliver one of the crystals to Luke Skywalker, thereby killing him with the potential deadly plague." This needs more context, like why she was avenging Orman, and more importantly, what this plague is. Similarly: "unleashed the second Jewel, rendering most of the Mining Explorer contaminated"; unleashed how?"...ships capable of traversing out of their pocket of existence" Does that mean the Nebula? If so, I'd simplify this.Planet/Inhabitants/Sun shouldn't be capitalized unless they're actually the proper name of the world/people/star.4dot has now been sufficiently tormented. - Lord Hydronium 00:20, 20 August 2007 (UTC)
- From the desk of channeled Atarumaster88
(Intro) The second sentence of intro is a bit confusing.- Redundant info in Description and Early history (first sentences are virtually the same)
- De-capitalize improper usage of "Jewel". "Great Life Jewel" is a proper noun, "jewel" is not.
- How did the Empire get intelligence from Tagge if she was trapped on the Mining Explorer? Clarify please.
Some redundant info in inhabitants/locations sections could be culled. I don't see the reasoning behind it- it's well over 1000 words just by looking at it.- Have a Super Terrific Friendly Un-frustrating Day. Atarumaster88
(Talk page) 03:13, 23 August 2007 (UTC)
Comments
Approved by Inquisitorius 15:00, 25 August 2007 (UTC)
- I'd like to see some more quotes added to this article, even if you don't really like quotes. --Eyrezer 03:51, 18 August 2007 (UTC)