Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Oron Kira

The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Oron Kira

Grand Moff Tranner ^(Comlink) 20:19, January 9, 2011 (UTC)
That's two! —Tommy 9281 Wednesday, March 2, 2011, 03:08 UTC
Three. Toprawa and Ralltiir 04:03, March 3, 2011 (UTC)
Four! Ha! Ha! Ha! Four Inqvotes! Cavalier One^{(Squadron channel)} 12:19, March 3, 2011 (UTC)
Menkooroo 11:33, March 6, 2011 (UTC)
Five! 1358 ^(Talk) 19:20, March 10, 2011 (UTC)

~~I guess I'll start leaving objections here as I go through. I'd like to see this revised per our discussion: "he lent his Beast Riders to Jedi forces in the Second Battle of Empress Teta in 3,997 BBY"~~ Toprawa and Ralltiir 05:07, February 11, 2011 (UTC)
- Taken care of. IFYLOFD ^{(Floyd's crib)} 03:59, February 13, 2011 (UTC)
Per the previous objection, please also look into these battle references and revise as needed: both the intro and a body quote refer to the "Battle of Iziz"; another body quote refers to the "Battle of Onderon"; the P/T refers to the "the Krath in the Battle of Empress Teta"; the S/A refers to "the Battle of Iziz" and the "Battle of Empress Teta"; and the BTS refers to "and the Battle of Iziz"
- All addressed.
~~I can think of at least one more category that should be added to the article: Humans. Please double check to see if you're missing anymore.~~ Toprawa and Ralltiir 22:22, February 15, 2011 (UTC)
- Added that one and Category:Beast Riders. IFYLOFD ^{(Floyd's crib)} 00:34, February 28, 2011 (UTC)
  - If I may, I removed two of the cats because they fall within each other, and are thus redundant. "House of Kira" is under the "Beast Riders" category, which is under the "Humans" category, if that makes sense. —Tommy 9281 Monday, February 28, 2011, 00:44 UTC
    - That sounds fine. IFYLOFD ^{(Floyd's crib)} 00:46, February 28, 2011 (UTC)

"The battle began, and Kira and his Beast Riders battled against Krath forces on the ground. Although Ulic Qel-Droma resisted the Jedi attempts to bring him back, his brother, Cay, forcibly removed him from the palace and called for Kira to pick him up. Before Kira could reach him on his warbeast, Nomi Sunrider ordered them to release him, as it was not the Jedi way to take him against his will." Lots of "hims" and "his," and it starts to get confusing between the three guys in question. See if you can substitute some of the pronouns and refer to the characters in question more directly.
- Fixed. IFYLOFD ^{(Floyd's crib)} 02:38, March 2, 2011 (UTC)
That's all. Good one. —Tommy 9281 Tuesday, March 1, 2011, 15:00 UTC
- Thanks for the review. IFYLOFD ^{(Floyd's crib)} 02:38, March 2, 2011 (UTC)

~~The intro makes it seem like Tott Doneeta isn't a Jedi Knight --- can you give the sentence a tweak so it's clear that all three of the people mentioned are Jedi?~~
- Addressed.
~~There's a lot of flip-flopping between "Kira" and "Oron," and some random instances of his full name. Save for maybe the parts that also include his father, shouldn't it just be "Kira" throughout?~~
- Addressed. I left the use of his full name in the first sentences of the P&T, S&A, and BtS sections, because it fits the flow better.
~~Maybe a sofixit, but I'd like to defer to your TOTJ expertise: Should "Beast Lord" be hyphenated in the Skills and abilities quote, like it is throughout the rest of the article?~~
- Fixed.
That's all. Well-done! A real treat to read. Menkooroo 14:36, March 4, 2011 (UTC)
- Thanks for the review. IFYLOFD ^{(Floyd's crib)} 21:07, March 5, 2011 (UTC)

Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 19:20, March 10, 2011 (UTC)