- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.
Odan
(5 Inqs/2 Users/7 Total)
Support
Cull Tremayne 00:51, 14 February 2008 (UTC)- Marvel-ous. Toprawa and Ralltiir 05:22, 20 February 2008 (UTC)
Green Tentacle (Talk) 19:04, 20 February 2008 (UTC)
-- Darth Culator (Talk) 03:59, 21 February 2008 (UTC)
At last, a non-Final-Fantasy reference to Odan and not Thor! Graestan(Talk) 00:44, 25 February 2008 (UTC)- Chack Jadson (Talk) 02:16, 26 February 2008 (UTC)
--Eyrezer 05:08, 2 March 2008 (UTC)
Oppose
- Toprawa:
Give a time frame for when this occurred. 0 ABY, or whatever it is: "Based on the ice world of Akuria II"- Added. Cull Tremayne 07:42, 16 February 2008 (UTC)
Destroy the intro red link so the front page looks pretty- Red link destroyed. Cull Tremayne 21:59, 18 February 2008 (UTC)
The intro could benefit from a brief elaboration of how an Imperial specifically impersonated Odan himself: "as the Imperials and their leader..."- What do you have in mind? He basically just said that he was Odan. Skywalker and Organa weren't familiar with the real guy, so they just took him at his word. Cull Tremayne 07:42, 16 February 2008 (UTC)
- Ah, nevermind> I was under the impression that he altered his appearance to mirror the real Odan.
- What do you have in mind? He basically just said that he was Odan. Skywalker and Organa weren't familiar with the real guy, so they just took him at his word. Cull Tremayne 07:42, 16 February 2008 (UTC)
Something here could be reworded better: "to rescue the Rebel leaders from the Imperial leader"- Well done me. Changed. Cull Tremayne 07:42, 16 February 2008 (UTC)
- I went in and took out "heroes," and just let it as "the Rebels." I feel "heroes" in this case is a bit over the top POV wise. Toprawa and Ralltiir 19:03, 16 February 2008 (UTC)
- Well done me. Changed. Cull Tremayne 07:42, 16 February 2008 (UTC)
POV: "Unfortunately, the leader of the rescue party"- Removed. Cull Tremayne 07:42, 16 February 2008 (UTC)
The way this sentence is structured makes it seem as though Skywalker and Organa cannot speak Basic: "Unable to speak Basic, Skywalker and Organa misinterpreted Fafnir"- Changed. Cull Tremayne 07:42, 16 February 2008 (UTC)
Unfortunately is POV, and I might go so far to say miraculous is a bit POVish: "Unfortunately, after their miraculous escape"- Can I use thrilling? ;) Removed. Cull Tremayne 07:42, 16 February 2008 (UTC)
POV: "Unfortunately, the Imperial leader"- Gone. Cull Tremayne 07:42, 16 February 2008 (UTC)
I would recommend rewording this, since I'm guessing they weren't truly using radios. Are radios even canon, btw? "the Imperial leader had already radioed"- They aren't? Huh. Removed. Cull Tremayne 07:42, 16 February 2008 (UTC)
- I'm not sure if they are or not. Toprawa and Ralltiir 19:03, 16 February 2008 (UTC)
- They aren't? Huh. Removed. Cull Tremayne 07:42, 16 February 2008 (UTC)
Remove this speculation unless substantiated in the story: "...an injury probably sustained during a fight against the Empire."- Gone. Cull Tremayne 07:42, 16 February 2008 (UTC)
Same here. Very speculative: "The reason that Odan had not accepted a prosthetic replacement is uncertain, but the low rate of technology on Akuria II may have been a factor."- Ditto. Cull Tremayne 07:42, 16 February 2008 (UTC)
Consider removing this part as well, unless we know for sure he truly had a bum eye. He may just be wearing the patch for weird dramatic effect, for all we know: "The reason that Odan had not accepted a prosthetic replacement is uncertain."Toprawa and Ralltiir 19:03, 16 February 2008 (UTC)- Done. Cull Tremayne 02:50, 17 February 2008 (UTC)
- Ditto. Cull Tremayne 07:42, 16 February 2008 (UTC)
This clause seems unnecessary, since GG3 was published after and does take into account TESB: "even though the story was published before the release of Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back"- I'm not sure why the clause isn't necessary. Isn't it interesting to note that "The Kingdom of Ice" was published before the reveal of Hoth? Or am I just not clarifying correctly? I reworded it to specify that the comic, not the sourcebook, was the story published prior to the film. Cull Tremayne 07:42, 16 February 2008 (UTC)
I know what you're saying, but the way it is worded seems to suggest that the story was specially retconned following the ESB, as if its some unique case. The real problem I have is the "even though" phrase. I would recommend replacing that with just "following the release of ESB" or whatever.- I see what you're saying. Moved the mention of the publishing date so it's less confusing. Cull Tremayne 02:50, 17 February 2008 (UTC)
- I'm not sure why the clause isn't necessary. Isn't it interesting to note that "The Kingdom of Ice" was published before the reveal of Hoth? Or am I just not clarifying correctly? I reworded it to specify that the comic, not the sourcebook, was the story published prior to the film. Cull Tremayne 07:42, 16 February 2008 (UTC)
In GG3's Maren Kelsome entry, it describes Kelsome as experiencing a strong difference between the tightly-run service of Echo Base and the more laid back, rag-tag way Odan ran his troops. I would like to see a mention of this in P&T. If you need anything from GG3, let me know.Toprawa and Ralltiir 03:58, 16 February 2008 (UTC)- Added. Cull Tremayne 07:42, 16 February 2008 (UTC)
- Very nice addition. Toprawa and Ralltiir 19:03, 16 February 2008 (UTC)
- Added. Cull Tremayne 07:42, 16 February 2008 (UTC)
Was his group separate from the Alliance before this? Could do with clarifying a little and, if so, he should probably be in Category:Resistance fighters. Green Tentacle (Talk) 20:50, 19 February 2008 (UTC)- Added. Cull Tremayne 02:58, 20 February 2008 (UTC)
- From Graestan the Mighty:
Last two sentences of the intro read a bit rough. Please revisit.- Rephrased. Cull Tremayne 09:50, 22 February 2008 (UTC)
"Imperials and their leader" implies that the Emperor was there.- Switched to commander. Cull Tremayne 09:50, 22 February 2008 (UTC)
I wouldn't say "used them" in reference to Odan's relationship with the locals.- Switched to "recruited". Cull Tremayne 09:50, 22 February 2008 (UTC)
Beginning a section with "however" rubs me the wrong way. It might be the continuation of a story, but it's broken from the previous section by a header and a quote.- Switched to an "Unfortunately for the...". Cull Tremayne 09:50, 22 February 2008 (UTC)
"predating the ice world of Hoth" should be sourced.- Uh, sourced with the comic I guess, since it was published before the film. Cull Tremayne 09:50, 22 February 2008 (UTC)
Please either source or remove the last two sentences of the BtS.- Yeah...I kinda find it ridiculous that we need to source this bit. Removed anyway. Cull Tremayne 09:50, 22 February 2008 (UTC)
- What is this? --Imperialles 23:04, 24 February 2008 (UTC)
- Yeah...I kinda find it ridiculous that we need to source this bit. Removed anyway. Cull Tremayne 09:50, 22 February 2008 (UTC)
- Graestan(Talk) 01:02, 22 February 2008 (UTC)
"was able to divert the worm's path". Did the worm dig a fresh tunnel to the surface? Can this be reworded? --Eyrezer 05:13, 1 March 2008 (UTC)- Yes it did dig a new tunnel. Reworded a bit. Cull Tremayne 03:09, 2 March 2008 (UTC)
Comments
Approved by Inquisitorius 18:30, 3 March 2008 (UTC)
- Marvel again. Cull Tremayne 00:51, 14 February 2008 (UTC)
- You may want to add something about Odin and Fafnir in the BTS. However, it could be too much speculation, and irrelevance, so feel free not to use it. Chack Jadson (Talk) 14:14, 17 February 2008 (UTC)
- Warrants a mention I would say. Cull Tremayne 02:58, 20 February 2008 (UTC)
- Or not. Cull Tremayne 09:50, 22 February 2008 (UTC)
- Warrants a mention I would say. Cull Tremayne 02:58, 20 February 2008 (UTC)
- You may want to add something about Odin and Fafnir in the BTS. However, it could be too much speculation, and irrelevance, so feel free not to use it. Chack Jadson (Talk) 14:14, 17 February 2008 (UTC)