- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.
Ngaaluh
(6 Inqs/3 Users/9 Total)
Support
- Nominated.Harrar 15:34, 16 December 2007 (UTC)
- Goodwood
(Alliance Intelligence) 23:32, 21 December 2007 (UTC)
Greyman(Paratus) 01:56, 24 December 2007 (UTC)
-- Darth Culator (Talk) 04:22, 24 December 2007 (UTC)- Chack Jadson (Talk) 02:37, 28 December 2007 (UTC)
Thefourdotelipsis 07:06, 3 January 2008 (UTC)
Excellent work. Atarumaster88 (Talk page) 20:14, 18 January 2008 (UTC)
pushes something heavy NGAAL...UH! Gonk (Gonk!) 17:41, 21 January 2008 (UTC)
Jaina Solo(Talk) 23:02, 21 January 2008 (UTC)
Oppose
- A few things:
"Ngaaluh was a female Yuuzhan Vong Deception Sect priestess; during the Yuuzhan Vong War, however, she became a leading member of the heretical movement among the lower castes of her species, a movement which eventually proved crucial in the downfall of the Yuuzhan Vong Empire." I suggest removing the semi-colon and making these two separate sentences.- Yeah I rearranged the intro a little. See how you like it Harrar 09:36, 17 December 2007 (UTC)
Link villip the first time it's mentioned.Chack Jadson (Talk) 16:18, 16 December 2007 (UTC)- Linked. Thanks for your help. Harrar 09:36, 17 December 2007 (UTC)
- From the Forest of Goodwood:
Can we get bullet points for the Affiliation field of the infobox?- Yep! Harrar 14:33, 21 December 2007 (UTC)
The IU consensus seems to be that "Deception Sect" should not be capitalized, please fix.- De-capitalized everywhere. Except for Deception sect in infobox. Harrar 14:33, 21 December 2007 (UTC)
Please reword "by her mysterious wartime captive" in the intro for accuracy. Vergere was not her captive specifically, rather the subject of her interrogation efforts.- Done. See how you like it. Harrar 14:33, 21 December 2007 (UTC)
Executor should not be capitalized.- So should Prefect and Intendant not be either. De-capitalized Executors. Harrar 14:33, 21 December 2007 (UTC)
- In essence, you've nailed it; prefect and intendant are capitalized when used as titles or when referring to the Intendant caste.--Goodwood
(Alliance Intelligence) 23:27, 21 December 2007 (UTC)
- In essence, you've nailed it; prefect and intendant are capitalized when used as titles or when referring to the Intendant caste.--Goodwood
- So should Prefect and Intendant not be either. De-capitalized Executors. Harrar 14:33, 21 December 2007 (UTC)
"As a disciple of Yun-Harla, Ngaaluh was well-versed in subterfuge and intelligence, and it was simple for her, with an honest degree of piety, to locate the heretical movement thriving in the underlevels of re-shaped Coruscant." This sentence could perhaps be rewritten. In addition, please add a link to Yu'shaa immediately after.- Rewritten, link added. See if you like it. Harrar 14:33, 21 December 2007 (UTC)
The second paragraph of the Infiltration section needs to be rewritten for order and clarity.- I hope I've re-written the right paragraph, and I hope I've made it better. Have a look Harrar 14:33, 21 December 2007 (UTC)
There seems to be a missing conjunction here "When one inquisition into Prefect Ash'ett of the Vishtu Sector was organized, Ngaaluh regarded the framing and discrediting of the Prefect as a chance to install a loyal heretic in his place; Anor was merely ridding himself of an old rival.".- Was re-worded with the rest of the paragraph. Harrar 14:33, 21 December 2007 (UTC)
"Ngaaluh was a fanatic who swore to give her life, and did so, for the movement in which she believed so passionately." could be rewritten a bit better, transposing the "and did so" clause to the end and tweaking it a bit.- Rewritten. See what you think. Harrar 14:33, 21 December 2007 (UTC)
The last sentence of the BtS section is a bit of a run-on.- (Hopefully) nailed it. Harrar 14:33, 21 December 2007 (UTC)
- TIMMMMMMBERRRRRRRRR!!!--Goodwood
(Alliance Intelligence) 21:07, 20 December 2007 (UTC)
- From the desk of Atarumaster88
The way you have written the BTS, there is little need to add the footnote ref tags. The mention of each novel in the relevant sentence(s) makes it unnecessary.- Removed the ref tags.
- Other than that, it looks good. Have a Super Terrific Friendly Un-frustrating day. Atarumaster88
(Talk page) 01:38, 17 January 2008 (UTC)
- Thanks for looking at it dude. Harrar 16:40, 18 January 2008 (UTC)
File:AnorUnifyingforce2jc.jpg—what is this?--Imperialles 21:06, 23 January 2008 (UTC)- It's a picture of Nom Anor; I thought the article needed at least one picture and as there are none of Ngaaluh herself I put one of her manipulator in instead...anyway, I can remove if you want. I don't really understand your objection. Harrar 18:26, 24 January 2008 (UTC)
Comments
- Sadly there is no picture, and I'm not too sure about having Nom Anor in there—more of a way of breaking up the text. Good fun to write though (and sorry it's another character) :P Harrar 15:34, 16 December 2007 (UTC)
- It's a pretty good article overall.--Goodwood
(Alliance Intelligence) 21:07, 20 December 2007 (UTC)
- Cheers and thanks for t'input. Harrar 14:33, 21 December 2007 (UTC)
- Heh, no problemo. Thanks for addressing my issues so quickly.--Goodwood
(Alliance Intelligence) 23:27, 21 December 2007 (UTC)
- Heh, no problemo. Thanks for addressing my issues so quickly.--Goodwood
- Cheers and thanks for t'input. Harrar 14:33, 21 December 2007 (UTC)
- It's a pretty good article overall.--Goodwood
- I have to skip this one, unfortunately. Reading through Force Heretic currently; spoilers. Graestan(Talk) 17:31, 25 January 2008 (UTC)
- Do we have any information for an Early Life section, or at least something before 2.1? Hobbes(Tiger's Lair) 21:14, 1 February 2008 (UTC)
- I'm sorry Hobbes but Ngaaluh's younger years are not touched upon - I believe she's supposed to be pretty youthful herself, and it's only the details that she's part of Harrar's entourage that stand out, among other things. I think to add it would call for a fair deal speculation, but tell me what you think. Harrar 12:35, 2 February 2008 (UTC)