Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Nelani Dinn

The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Nelani Dinn

• Nominated by: IFYLOFD ^Talk 03:44, 13 October 2008 (UTC)
• Nomination comments: This was more fun to work on than Goran Beviin, I can tell ya that.

(6 Inqs/1 Users/7 Total)

Support

1. Objections resolved per IRC discussion with IFYLOFD. DC 15:31, 13 October 2008 (UTC)
2. —Xwing328^(Talk) 23:39, 24 October 2008 (UTC)
3. Atarumaster88 ^{(Talk page)} 18:20, 7 November 2008 (UTC)
4. Objections resolved on IRC. Cull Tremayne 02:30, 8 November 2008 (UTC)
5. Jaina Solo^(Talk) 20:47, 8 November 2008 (UTC)
6. I'll vote for it, but I just don't see how this could be more fun than Lance the GayMando. -- Darth Culator ^(Talk) 16:00, 9 November 2008 (UTC)
7. Graestan^(Talk) 17:46, 9 November 2008 (UTC)

Object

1. From the squalid cubicle of Graestan:
   • The intro needs a bit more detail—the location and nature of Syo's home, how the last moments of Dinn's life played out. How could Vectivus goad Dinn into killing him when he was already dead? Please be more specific.
     • Addressed.
   • I don't think the one sentence of "Early life" needs to be in its own section, necessarily.
     • Addressed.
       • That sentence is now unsourced. :| Graestan^(Talk) 00:51, 2 November 2008 (UTC)
         • Whoops. Addressed. IFYLOFD ^{(And now, young Skywalker, you will die.)} 00:56, 2 November 2008 (UTC)
   • The parenthetical statement in "Strange disturbances" needs to be worked into the prose instead. Parentheses read like casual asides, and are therefore unencyclopedic.
     • Addressed.
   • "several more of these Force ghost-related incidents" – Any details?
     • Addressed.
   • Her mentions in later books should be worked into a Legacy section and cited.
     • Addressed.
   • The P&T prose could be retooled to read less like a book report: "Dinn was this … she was that …"
     • Addressed.
   • The commentary on the continuity issue in the BtS should go. State the facts, and that's it.
     • Addressed. Thanks for the review. IFYLOFD ^{(And now, young Skywalker, you will die.)} 19:57, 30 October 2008 (UTC)
   • Graestan^(Talk) 23:16, 29 October 2008 (UTC)
2. From the desk of Atarumaster88
   • "The person behind the artifact" is rather vague. (intro) Please reword.
     • Addressed.
   • Clarify who Lumiya is. (Intro).
     • Addressed.
   • "When Dinn attempting to intervene, dueled Lumiya, and after the duel concluded with no clear victor, attempted to arrest the Dark Lady." Awkward wording. Please revamp this whole sentence. (intro)
     • Addressed.
   • The word "strange" is overused. Please vary it up some.
     • Addressed.
   • More detail on the Pazz incident. Also, more of this should be written from Dinn's perspective.
     • Addressed.
   • Explain in the article why Solo attacked Dinn.
     • Addressed.
   • "nd she killed Nelani" Which "she"?
     • Addressed.
   • P&T seems a little barebones. Milk Betrayal.
     • Addressed. Thanks for the review. IFYLOFD ^{(And now, young Skywalker, you will die.)} 03:19, 7 November 2008 (UTC)
   • One last thing: It'd be great if there could be a link to the Duel on the Asteroid or whatever. Thanks.
   • Have a Super Terrific Friendly Un-frustrating day. Atarumaster88 ^{(Talk page)} 19:09, 5 November 2008 (UTC)

Comments

• Currently, the last paragraph of the BtS is unsourced, and IFYLOFD is currently looking for something to source it by. If anyone could help him out with finding that source, it would be greatly appreciated. Cheers, DC 15:31, 13 October 2008 (UTC)

Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 17:46, 9 November 2008 (UTC)