Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Nahdar Vebb

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a Featured article nomination that was unsuccessful. Please do not modify it.

Nahdar Vebb

  • Nominated by: JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 20:55, 21 August 2024 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: A bit fishy, this fellow
  • Date Archived: 19:19, 4 January 2025 (UTC)
  • Final word count: 2983 words (278 introduction, 2329 body, 376 behind the scenes)
  • Word count at nomination time: 2990 words (278 introduction, 2346 body, 366 behind the scenes)
  • WookieeProject (optional): WP:TCW

(1 Inqs/1 Users/2 Total)

(Votes required: 2 Inq vote(s) required to reach minimum. Additional 3 user or 2 Inq votes required to pass.)

Support

  1. Inqvote Love to see early Clone Wars noms! Wok142 (talk) 20:40, 30 September 2024 (UTC)
  2. SorcererSupreme21 (talk) 20:43, 24 November 2024 (UTC)

Object

Wok
  • Very minor but in the intro, would it be better to link Clone Commander when contextualizing Fil?
    • Sure, added.
  • More of a question then an objection but does Count Dooku need more context as like a Separatist leader or whatever or is just saying "count" sufficient?
    • Yeah that's probably better, added.
  • Second sentence of Looking for Gunray, that sentence kind of reads as Kit Fisto as the main subject when it should probably be Vebb. I also think the word "had" is unnecessary here. I would see it reworked to simply say "Vebb and Fisto, his former master, both tracked Gunray to the moon Vassek 3 in the Vassek system." Wok142 (talk) 20:47, 10 September 2024 (UTC)
    • Dunno why I had the sentence written that way - either a holdover of 2021 Macaroni or someone else added. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 05:25, 11 September 2024 (UTC)
  • Last paragraph of Bout with Grievous is definitely necessary context, but it also does not mention Vebb at all. Thus, I would say to condense it down and potentially combine it into the previous paragraph. That or work Vebb in somehow if possible.
    • Cut it down a bit, and it does mentioned "the group", which he's part of.
  • Context needed for R6 (also fyi, Vebb of lies made me laugh out loud that is an amazing section title)
    • Thanks :) added
  • I think it would be good to say what the clones "fell in" to
    • Added.
  • Last thing, I would prefer to see Fisto's reaction to Vebb's death described without having the quote in there, the "no" feels kind of informal Wok142 (talk) 22:27, 11 September 2024 (UTC)
aomY ma
  • Good work overall, but I would make some minor changes:
    • Overconfidence as a weakness:
      • Add "in grief" to the end of "Fisto could only watch, falling backward into the chair." to describe Fisto's reaction to his former apprentice's death without necessarily spelling out that he said "No."
        • Sure - added "in sadness" since I prefer to avoid words like grief for encyclopedic tone.
    • Legacy:
      • "Grievous added Vebb's lightsaber to his collection and said to the camera, knowing that Fisto was watching, that he would kill them all." to "Grievous added Vebb's lightsaber to his collection and, knowing that Fisto was watching, screamed into the camera that he would kill them all." Better flow and Grievous more screamed than just "said."
        • Adjusted.
      • Add "but was disappointed that Grievous had failed to kill Fisto." to the end of "Dooku told Grievous in a holographic message that the victory over Vebb had been expected." I feel that is important context for Grievous's objective in the episode.
        • Added the detail.
      • Change "Master Yoda" to "Grand Master Yoda."
        • Done. Something as minor as this is what we call a "sofixit" - feel free to change it in a copy-edit next time.
    • Personality and traits:
      • "His vengeful, forceful mood was met with much disapproval from Fisto." to "His vengeful, forceful mood was met with much disapproval from his former Master." Fisto's surname is used a lot in this section, so changing one or more uses of it might read better.
        • Done. (I hold that this is also minor enough to be a sofixit.)
    • BTS:
      • Add the episode numbers for "Rookies" and "Lair of Grievous" — the fifth and tenth episodes, respectively — as well as context for The Empire Strikes Back.
        • Added (Jedi btw :P)
      • Remove "Lastly" from the last paragraph, since there are only three inconsisties listed. SorcererSupreme21 (talk) 19:34, 31 October 2024 (UTC)
        • I don't see a need for this - three is already a proper list, and I like having the conclusory language at the end of the article. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 12:37, 14 November 2024 (UTC)
Comet
  • The infobox cites his species and gender to the episode, but the body cites them to the Clone Wars Encyclopedia.
  • In the intro, Vebb is with Fisto in one sentence, but is then alone in the last sentence, so I think it would make sense to very briefly mention them being separated.
  • Very minor, but could you confirm if the source capitalized the word "Trials" by itself? Usually I only see the full phrase "Jedi Trials" capitalized, but "trials" alone is lower case. I also think it would be better to use the full "Jedi Trials" the first time they're mentioned instead of just "Trials".
  • In "Looking For Gunray", it mentions them locating the entrance, but there isn't context for what the entrance is to.
  • Can the Ultimate Star Wars refs in the body be updated to use the New Edition? Same with the Mon Cala databank CometSmudge (talk) 20:58, 6 December 2024 (UTC)

Comments

Vote to remove nomination (Inq only)
  1. Inqvote Per overdue objections from Dec 6, over double-limit at this point Lewisr (talk) 19:15, 4 January 2025 (UTC)
  2. Inqvote —spookywillowwtalk 19:15, 4 January 2025 (UTC)
  3. Inqvote Imperators II(Talk) 19:18, 4 January 2025 (UTC)