Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Naga Sadow/Legends (third nomination)

< Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations
The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was unsuccessful. Please do not modify it.

Naga Sadow

  • Nominated by: IFYLOFD (Talk) 03:22, January 2, 2018 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: Let this one unfortunately lapse during a time of inactivity for me a couple months ago, to my shame. However, I believe I've addressed the outstanding objections from last time around and I really want to give this one another go. This time I guarantee I'll see it through.


Support

  1. Great job. The writing style makes him sound like an ultimate badass. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 19:26, March 18, 2018 (UTC)
  2. I like it. – Tm_T@Wookieepedia:~$ 04:58, March 26, 2018 (UTC)
  3. Nice homage to a great character.--ID-21 Dolphin DolphinJedi(Talk)
  4. Inqvote A nice read. Supreme Emperor (talk) 03:15, September 9, 2018 (UTC)


Object

Tm_T doesn't read previous reviews
  • In Intro: "Sadow killed Daragon and escaped back to Sith Space after a brief clash with Republic forces, only to immediately be forced back into another battle with Ludo Kressh, who had faked his death and raised a new army with Sadow away." I had to read couple times what "raised new army with Sadow away" means, maybe it's just me?
    • Tried to clarify it some.
  • In Bio: "Nominally in control of the world of Khar Delba,[11] he also constructed a secret stronghold on the dark side of the moon Khar Shian, where he found it better to further his research into the dark arts.[4] Khar Delba would serve as his decoy, while Sadow's true work occurred in private on Khar Shian." Almost like the same thing is written twice, I wonder if text flow would be better if these are combined somehow?
    • Combined them. IFYLOFD (Talk) 00:37, February 28, 2018 (UTC)
  • More to come – Tm_T@Wookieepedia:~$ 17:53, February 26, 2018 (UTC)
  • in Sadow's star war, "His vessel damaged but not destroyed, Sadow sent a transmission to Daragon, asking him to come to his listing sphere so they could meet face to face." What is "listing sphere?"
    • "List" as a verb means to tilt to one side, especially when describing a ship. The "sphere" is Sadow's Sith meditation sphere. IFYLOFD (Talk) 18:39, March 17, 2018 (UTC)
      • Ah, neat, although random reader might be as confused as I am (: – Tm_T@Wookieepedia:~$ 05:22, March 19, 2018 (UTC)
  • Bio gone through, good reading. (: – Tm_T@Wookieepedia:~$ 06:05, March 13, 2018 (UTC)
  • Equipment: "Through these crystals, Sadow was able to summon nigh-unlimited power," ...nigh? – Tm_T@Wookieepedia:~$ 10:59, March 16, 2018 (UTC)
    • nigh. Imperators II(Talk) 12:02, March 16, 2018 (UTC)
      • Yes I'm aware, just seems out-of-place there, I don't remember even source material having such vocabulary in use. – Tm_T@Wookieepedia:~$ 05:21, March 19, 2018 (UTC)
        • I mean, it's perfectly valid word choice. I don't think it needs changing. Same with the "listing" mentioned above. IFYLOFD (Talk) 22:34, March 25, 2018 (UTC)
          • Yup, no point dragging this further. – Tm_T@Wookieepedia:~$ 04:58, March 26, 2018 (UTC)
QGJ
  • The emergence and subsequent destruction of the Harbinger in 41 ABY warrants a mention in the Legacy section, I think, seeing as it was a part of Sadow's force. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 20:12, March 14, 2018 (UTC)
Ecks Dee
  • Ok, the intro is freaking huge. With the emergence of Oasis as our number one skin, article formatting needs to follow suit. If you look at the article in Oasis (append ?useskin=wikia to the URL), you'll see that the gigantic intro goes far beyond the infobox, which is really undesirable in most cases. Naga Sadow is no Anakin Skywalker or Wedge Antilles in terms of article length, so it definitely needs trimming with a heavy hand. I recommend chopping off as much as half the intro, with three equally-sized paragraphs remaining. Let me know what you think.
    • Damn, OK. I was kinda proud of the intro. Do you have any specific suggestions about what to chop off? IFYLOFD (Talk) 21:05, April 3, 2018 (UTC)
      • Honestly, I can't say I've read it, but I'm talking about context that isn't critical to understanding the main events of his life. For example: "A member of the ten-member Sith Council towards the end of Dark Lord of the Sith Marka Ragnos' reign over the isolated Sith civilization, Sadow became known as a progressive ideologue with little regard for Sith traditions, who loudly preached an expansionist philosophy that was at odds with much of the Empire's establishment." Is the composition of the Sith Council /that/ important? You already establish a timeline (5000 BBY) earlier in the intro, so do we really need to establish that it was during his reign? Something like "A member of the Sith Council under Dark Lord of the Sith Marka Ragnos, Sadow's expansionist philosophy put him at odds with much of the isolated Empire's establishment." would probably convey nearly the same information in a much shorter form. I hate to cite restrictions and limits where none exist, but the intro is currently about the size of CT-7567's intro—and that article is like nine times larger in terms of kilobytes. 1358 (Talk) 22:34, April 3, 2018 (UTC)
        • I chopped off a big amount of it, let me know what you think. IFYLOFD (Talk) 15:44, April 9, 2018 (UTC)
          • Much better. 1358 (Talk) 19:57, April 11, 2018 (UTC)
  • You're missing backup links in one or more of your citation templates. 1358 (Talk) 23:49, March 25, 2018 (UTC)
    • Am I? Which ones? The only OOU source I cited has an archive link as well as the original link. IFYLOFD (Talk) 15:50, April 9, 2018 (UTC)
  • I think the article could definitely benefit from further subsectioning and splitting up some of the big paragraphs. Further subsectioning will allow more quotes and possibly more images. From a quick glance, the last two paragraphs of "Legacy" talk about his tomb so you could probably have a subsection within "Legacy" that's named something relevant. Some paragraphs are like 15+ lines (again, look at this in Oasis) and they appear like very daunting walls of text.
    • I split up Legacy. Do you have any specific examples you want me to split up? IFYLOFD (Talk) 00:08, April 18, 2018 (UTC)
      • I'm not really familiar with the source material, so I'm not really sure where subsectioning would be appropriate. However, paragraph splitting definitely would be appropriate throughout the article, particularly in paragraphs with an image. I see several instances where a paragraph is 15 lines on my screen. 1358 (Talk) 23:07, April 20, 2018 (UTC)
        • I split up a few of the bigger paragraphs in the article. To be honest, I'm not sure what places in the narrative of his life really need to be subsectioned out further: for instance, the Great Hyperspace War plays out so quickly in the comics that there isn't really enough for two sections, in my opinion. Sorry for the delay. IFYLOFD (Talk) 14:03, April 28, 2018 (UTC)
  • You have at least a couple of instances where the same reference is used consecutively within the same paragraph. "Claimant to the Sith legacy", last paragraph, has three consecutive [4] references. "Sadow's star war", paragraph two, has two consecutive [18] references. Please go through the rest of the article as well and double-check. 1358 (Talk) 19:57, April 11, 2018 (UTC)
Imp
  • Please eliminate all duplicate linking. Imperators II(Talk) 07:37, June 1, 2018 (UTC)
    • "Moon" in intro, "overcame" in "Sadow's star war," "Great Galactic War" in "Sadow's tomb," and TNEGtC in BTS. Imperators II(Talk) 14:35, June 7, 2018 (UTC)
      • Fixed.
  • The TOR Timeline video refs should implement {{TORweb}}. Imperators II(Talk) 07:37, June 1, 2018 (UTC)
    • Both of these should be fixed. IFYLOFD (Talk) 03:15, June 6, 2018 (UTC)
      • You implemented the template in just one of the refs - what about ref 32 and the three Sources items? Imperators II(Talk) 14:35, June 7, 2018 (UTC)
        • Ref 32 is for an actual physical book, does that apply? Also, thought it was just the refs, not the sources—those have been fixed. IFYLOFD (Talk) 02:41, June 8, 2018 (UTC)
          • Ref 32 is for Timeline 12, one of the aforementioned videos. Imperators II(Talk) 21:56, June 11, 2018 (UTC)
            • Oh my bad, I was looking at the wrong one. Fixed. IFYLOFD (Talk) 15:45, June 14, 2018 (UTC)
  • Unsourced infobox info. Imperators II(Talk) 14:35, June 7, 2018 (UTC)
    • I did not add that in, someone else did (inaccurately too, I might add). It's removed. IFYLOFD (Talk) 02:41, June 8, 2018 (UTC)
  • In the succession navbox, "c. 5100 BBY–5000 BBY" can't be sourced to The Golden Age of the Sith 2. Imperators II(Talk) 14:35, June 7, 2018 (UTC)
SE
  • Is there an article for the duel between Simus and Ragnos?
    • There isn't. We don't really have a whole lot of info on it.
  • "Among the dark side pursuits that Sadow embarked on during this time was a fruitless search for the Muur Talisman—an ancient Sith amulet with the power to turn people into monstrous rakghouls—with which he competed with a number of other Sith Lords of the time." Can you reword the end of this sentence? It reads a bit confusing to me. Supreme Emperor (talk) 04:40, June 18, 2018 (UTC)
Fan26
  • Is there a way you could get an audio file for Darth Baras' dialogue on the tomb? Fan26 (Talk) 20:18, September 3, 2018 (UTC)
    • I don't have any access to those files, unfortunately. I'll try to find someone who does. IFYLOFD (Talk) 22:04, September 7, 2018 (UTC)
      • Got it, let me know when you find someone. Fan26 (Talk) 02:19, September 11, 2018 (UTC)
    • Also, now that I think of it, could we get an image of the tomb? Fan26 (Talk) 18:08, September 20, 2018 (UTC)
Exiled Jedi
  • The infobox says he had brown eyes, the P&T says they are green.
  • In TOR, there are other characters that have missions in Sadow's tomb on Korriban (Vette, Empire's Wrath, Naman Fal's son, Ffon Althe, etc.) These aren't as integral to the tomb itself, but you should probably give some context to how his tomb was essentially used as a training ground for students at the academy.
  • Do the comics actually present a 5000 BBY date? It is my understanding that the BBY / ABY dating system was not developed at the time of the Tales of the Jedi comics.
  • Could I have confirmation that the 3993 BBY is from Shadows and the Light without any extrapolation?
  • The 3951 BBY cannot be directly sourced to KotOR II. You will need to provide additional referencing for this date.
  • A specific citation is needed for the 3643 BBY date from The Old Republic.
  • I checked what links here and came across a few things that might need to be linked or mentioned in the article:
  • There are also a few sources / appearances that have Sadow listed. Please check these to see if he is mentioned and update the article accordingly:
  • Just looking through the intro, I found a lot of missing links. Could you go through the rest of the article and try to clean up the linking?--Exiled Jedi (talk) 02:23, September 14, 2018 (UTC)

Comments

Vote to remove nomination (Inq only)

Inqvote Unaddressed objection more than two weeks old. Imperators II(Talk) 07:11, April 9, 2018 (UTC)
  • Before you guys run this nom off the page, I just wanted to let everyone know that I've actually been extremely busy the last two weeks, but I'm back and I'm going to have this addressed within the next couple days. IFYLOFD (Talk) 15:29, April 9, 2018 (UTC)
  1. Inqvote Objections idle for two weeks. Nominator has not edited since Sep 8. 1358 (Talk) 18:07, September 29, 2018 (UTC)
  2. Inqvote Exiled Jedi (talk) 18:08, September 29, 2018 (UTC)
  3. Inqvote For the record, I would even argue that this falls under the "nominator has not edited in one month or longer" clause, since Floyd's last article edit was in July. He only came back on September 8 to kick the can down the road on this nomination, pretty much, but has done nothing to advance its progress. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 18:17, September 29, 2018 (UTC)