Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Mindoku

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a Featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Mindoku

  • Nominated by: DarthSkyll (talk) 20:40, 27 December 2023 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments:
  • Date Archived: 08:22, 15 July 2024 (UTC)
  • Final word count: 1056 words (160 introduction, 856 body, 40 behind the scenes)
  • Word count at nomination time: 1131 words (161 introduction, 930 body, 40 behind the scenes)
  • WookieeProject (optional): WP:THR

(4 Inqs/2 Users/6 Total)

(Votes required: No additional votes required to pass, please consider reviewing another article.)

Support

  1. Inqvote —spookywillowwtalk 17:52, 19 June 2024 (UTC)
  2. Inqvote Lewisr (talk) 01:45, 20 June 2024 (UTC)
  3. Inqvote Ayrehead02 (talk) 16:35, 2 July 2024 (UTC)
  4. CometSmudge (talk) 19:31, 14 July 2024 (UTC)
  5. Sanathestarr (talk) 23:39, 14 July 2024 (UTC)
  6. Inqvote Tommy-Macaroni (he/they) 08:21, 15 July 2024 (UTC)

Object

Thrawn
  • In the body you mention he was "living on" Jedha in 382 BBY, which is not the same as it being his homeworld, as mentioned in the infobox. ThrawnChiss7 Mitth symbol Assembly Cupola 02:19, 9 April 2024 (UTC)
Lew
  • (Review note) Welcome to the FAN! Glad to see you here. Lewisr (talk) 04:19, 13 January 2024 (UTC)
  • The intro could use a bit of expansion Lewisr (talk) 04:19, 13 January 2024 (UTC)
  • Jedha as his homeworld is currently only mentioned in the infobox Lewisr (talk) 04:19, 13 January 2024 (UTC)
  • There's a few duplicate links that need to be removed Lewisr (talk) 04:19, 13 January 2024 (UTC)
  • Per the layout guide, the P&T section should come before the powers & abilities ones Lewisr (talk) 04:19, 13 January 2024 (UTC)
    • Thanks for the information, I expanded the intro, moved the P&T section, removed a few links (I hope I didn't miss one) and I added that Mindoku was living on Jedha to the intro and the body. DarthSkyll (talk) 23:42, 13 January 2024 (UTC)
      • The mention of him living on Jedha should be in the biography. I think the intro is still a bit short and could do with further expanding, summarising his role in the story Lewisr (talk) 23:38, 18 January 2024 (UTC)
        • I added that he lived on Jedha to the biography and expanded the intro. DarthSkyll (talk) 15:23, 19 January 2024 (UTC)
          • I still think it needs further, probably another paragraph at least Lewisr (talk) 04:09, 24 January 2024 (UTC)
            • I expanded the intro and split it in two paragraphs. DarthSkyll (talk) 12:01, 24 January 2024 (UTC)
  • Jedha needs context in the intro Lewisr (talk) 23:38, 18 January 2024 (UTC)
Panther
  • (Reviewing note) Careful about contractions, we do not use them for formal writing
  • Intro could use more context for the Brotherhood of the Ninth Door.
  • Each section of the history only has one paragraph but the paragraphs of the second two sections are very large. Should probably split the paragraphs in some way and maybe adjust the sectioning to spread the information more evenly.
  • If you keep it in three sections, it could probably use another image, perhaps one of Kradon.
  • I think you can get a better/more specific date note since the short story seems to be set during the attack on the peace summit, current one only says "around 382 BBY." With this, you can probably combine the peace summit note into the date one Panther436 (talk) 02:16, 14 January 2024 (UTC)
    • I will be more careful not to use contractions in future edits.
    • I expanded the intro.
    • I split the two sections into two paragraphs and added an image of Kradon.
    • I combined the two date notes. DarthSkyll (talk) 10:21, 14 January 2024 (UTC)
  • (Reviewing note) Just a heads-up because I saw it a few times, when referring to the Force, the 'F' should always be capitalized even when you're using hyphenated words like Force-sensitive.
  • The second sentence of the Powers and abilities section seems redundant to the first, section should be reworked Panther436 (talk) 22:28, 1 February 2024 (UTC)
    • I reworded the sentence in the Powers and abilities section. DarthSkyll (talk) 22:35, 1 February 2024 (UTC)
spookly
  • We don't really do one paragraph sections; the first two Biography ones should be merged to make for a three paragraph one.
  • Similar to the objection left here (which was summarily handed like this, to give an idea of what I'm asking for, there's a lot of play-by-play direct recounting of dialogue throughout. This should be evened out a bit to focus on actions a bit more than the exact words.
  • "was a kind person"—this would need to specify who saw him as kind, or be trimmed out per WP:NPOV. Imo, just saying he didn't wish to harm innocents gets the point across without the potential bias sneaking in.
  • I do think the first sentence of the first sentence could be split in two. It's running into a bit of comma collision with the three , up front; could have he lived there during the HR, then afterward establish everything else.
  • Tying on to the above point, it would be better to establish that he'd learned that Force skill he uses before the 382 BBY events introduction, as he must have known how to do that chronologically before the time of the story.
  • Seems like there's some missing image caption punctuation on the first and third images. It would also be best if the second image caption was tied in to mention Mindoku.
  • In terms of article readability, also going to request a synonym be used for "insouciantly"; having chatted with another Inq, while it is a valid usage of the word, it isn't the best for comprehension for most article readers due to being not used very much.
  • Is the story being Phase II directly sourceable to the story itself? (was eyeing Maeve Cuilinn, since that story of the same general P2 set does not). It generally is also precedent to specify THR as a multimedia project.
  • The P2 stories and such all got reprinted in a collection. Per the story's main page as well, seems it was also reprinted in a magazine issue; for Appearances.—spookywillowwtalk 01:12, 28 May 2024 (UTC)
    • I don't really get your first point.
      • First two subsections, under modern standard, have to be merged into one subsection. Status articles go for 2-3 paragraphs subsections whenever possible, and not above or below unless there's a really strong reason for. In this case; there's really no reason they would not be: it'll work quite well in length as a three paragraph subsection merged.—spookywillowwtalk 04:17, 9 June 2024 (UTC)
    • Today I don't have time for the second point, I'll change it tomorrow.
    • Point 3-6 are taken care of.
    • I changed "insouciantly" with "carefreely", is that a good word?
    • The story being Phase II is mentioned in the magazine, not the story itself, but it beeing a multimedia project is not mentioned in the magazine. Sould I search for a StarWars.com source for both the story being Phase II and THR beeing multimedia or just the multimedia point?
    • I don't get the last point, I've never seen a collection or the official magazine beeing listed as an appearance. DarthSkyll (talk) 09:54, 8 June 2024 (UTC)
      • Per here and until overturned by CT (maybe will or won't be, unsure); all reprints of material—particularly Insider—do have to be listed, as it is a published piece of material that includes the source. It's licensed in that it's a separate piece of physical media (release date, etc.) and it's current standard to list them (Spamel); until/if the community decides on some sort of (reprinted in X) tag instead via Cade after it passes vote. There's also at least a few dozen Legends FAs that do this for any reprints of roleplaying game material or such that got re-released.—spookywillowwtalk 04:17, 9 June 2024 (UTC)
        • I changed some of the dialogue parts DarthSkyll (talk) 15:31, 19 June 2024 (UTC)
          • Hmm. Not quite what I'd meant—more referring to the heavy direct recounting of dialogue and focus on words instead of actions. Went ahead and fixed the rest of it in a copy-edit alongside some other issues.—spookywillowwtalk 17:52, 19 June 2024 (UTC)
Tommy
  • Excellent work for your first FAN! Just a couple of small things, first, does the source explicitly say the puddle lit up with fire? If not, the pipelink should be removed.
  • In the P&T quote, does the source say "No, And I'm sorry."? Surely that "And" should be uncapitalised.
  • Likewise is "Don't you have one of those laser swords, or something" correct verbatim? Because that is grammatically incorrect, it shouldn't have a comma. It's fine if it's how the text writes it, and IMO that doesn't warrant a [Sic], but just wanted to check.
  • Is there a reason we're not using {{StoryCite}} for Star Wars Insider: The High Republic: Tales of Enlightenment? Tommy-Macaroni (he/they) 18:36, 21 June 2024 (UTC)
    • The story doesn't explicitly use the word "puddle", but it explicitly says that the spilled ale lit up.
      • OK, I take that to mean the puddle lit up from the electricity, not that it was ignited as the pipelink currently suggests. I think the fire link should be removed. Tommy-Macaroni (he/they) 09:22, 5 July 2024 (UTC)
    • The "And" of the quote is capitalised in the short story. But the quote is spit in two by a sentence: "'No,' admitted Piralli. He felt his cheeks flush with embarrassment. 'And I’m sorry.'" Should I uncapitalise it?
      • We should be using a full stop (period) instead of a comma, since a full stop is used in a removed prose: "No. And I'm sorry." Tommy-Macaroni (he/they) 09:22, 5 July 2024 (UTC)
    • The comma is present in the short story.
    • No there is no reason why I didn't use {{StoryCite}}, I changed it. DarthSkyll (talk) 15:59, 2 July 2024 (UTC)
  • (Reviewing note): Thanks for replying to these. Usually, we have responses to objections directly below the objection itself. Then on the next line, the next objection, and the next response, and so on. For example, see here. That just makes seeing what objections have been responded to a bit clearer, rather than having all the replies at the bottom. Tommy-Macaroni (he/they) 09:22, 5 July 2024 (UTC)
    • Thanks for the information. DarthSkyll (talk) 13:44, 14 July 2024 (UTC)
Ayrehead
  • I'd remove the repeated section of the quote from the Personality and traits. Ayrehead02 (talk) 17:08, 23 June 2024 (UTC)
    • I don't really understand what you mean, sorry. DarthSkyll (talk) 15:59, 2 July 2024 (UTC)
      • The last two lines of the Personality and Traits quote are the same as the quote from the "A plan to free Enlightenment" subsection above it. Ayrehead02 (talk) 16:21, 2 July 2024 (UTC)
        • I totally overlooked that, I changed it. DarthSkyll (talk) 16:24, 2 July 2024 (UTC)
Sana
  • Since the story has been printed in multiple things, BTS should state "first published in…" Sanathestarr (talk) 22:43, 30 June 2024 (UTC)
Comet
  • Is there any indication that he's a skilled fighter with his electrostaff? He doesn't really use it in combat, he just stabs a puddle, which doesn't seem like it takes much skill. CometSmudge (talk) 16:53, 2 July 2024 (UTC)

Comments

Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 08:21, 15 July 2024 (UTC)