Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Maximian Ajax

The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a Featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Maximian Ajax

• Nominated by: Braha'tok enthusiast ^{(Hello there)} 13:51, October 7, 2020 (UTC)
• Nomination comments: I love Twilight Company for the range of soldier personalities that it offers, and Ajax is like that cocky soldier that loves cracking jokes at his comrades.
• WookieeProject (optional): WP:NOVELS, WP:SWBF

(3 Inqs/4 Users/7 Total)

(Votes required: No additional votes required to pass, please consider reviewing another article.)

Support

1. Great work! VergenceScatter (talk) 16:13, 8 January 2021 (UTC)
2. OOM 224 ༼༽^{talk}༼༽ 09:22, 26 January 2021 (UTC)
3. Objections handled via Discord. Nicely done! JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 22:47, 23 April 2021 (UTC)
4. Objections handled via Discord. MasterFred(talk) 22:21, 13 July 2021 (UTC)
5. Commander Code-8 ^{Hello There!} 10:51, 20 July 2021 (UTC)
6. 1358 ^(Talk) 18:45, 3 August 2021 (UTC)
7. Outstanding work. I've tweaked a couple spots that were a bit play by play, but overall fantastic. Supreme Emperor ^Holocomm 23:24, 11 August 2021 (UTC)

Object

UberSoldat

• At least one image can be added to the article, specifically the 61st's logo. UberSoldat93 (talk) 10:29, October 11, 2020 (UTC)
  • Added the logo, not sure what else would really work as there's not many pictured things in Ajax's story. Braha'tok enthusiast ^{(Hello there)} 12:13, October 11, 2020 (UTC)
• There is a new precedent to use one ref note for birth and death years (see Winshur Bratt). UberSoldat93 (talk) 18:54, October 17, 2020 (UTC)
  • What do you want me to do? He doesn't have a birth date. Braha'tok enthusiast ^{(Hello there)} 22:03, October 17, 2020 (UTC)
    • In this case, a single ref for both year and place of death, instead of two separate refs. UberSoldat93 (talk) 06:29, October 18, 2020 (UTC)
      • Ok, done. Braha'tok enthusiast ^{(Hello there)} 08:29, October 18, 2020 (UTC)
• Please check pre-release excerpts of the novel to see if Ajax appears in any of them. UberSoldat93 (talk) 09:05, 23 March 2021 (UTC)
  • Objection handled via Discord. UberSoldat93 (talk) 09:28, 24 March 2021 (UTC)

Vergence

Overall, a really solid article, but a couple of things:

• Coyerti natives came to their aid. Since you were referring to Ajax alone earlier in the sentence, there is subject/verb disagreement here.
  • Fixed.
• This phrase is a little confusing: he was one of five survivors when the infantry group was obliterated, over four perishing as a result. If you're saying that there were at least four other members in the 32nd infantry, I would argue that that is unnecessary, since companies always have more than nine members.
  • Fixed. It was meant to say "four hundred."
• Howl is referred to by his first name a couple of times in the article body. VergenceScatter (talk) 05:34, 8 January 2021 (UTC)
  • The nickname Howl is only used one time in a quote, so I'm unsure as to what you're asking here. Braha'tok enthusiast ^{(Hello there)} 08:41, 8 January 2021 (UTC)
    • Not sure what I was thinking either. VergenceScatter (talk) 16:13, 8 January 2021 (UTC)

OOM

• Inconsistent capitalisation for "First Sergeant." - - -OOM 224 ༼༽^{talk}༼༽ 15:25, 25 January 2021 (UTC)
  • How so? I only capitalise it as a title. Braha'tok enthusiast ^{(Hello there)} 23:09, 25 January 2021 (UTC)
    • Ah, sorry. Does the source use "first sergeant" as opposed to "First Sergeant" when mentioning the rank independently, without it being prefixed to Namir? - - -OOM 224 ༼༽^{talk}༼༽ 23:31, 25 January 2021 (UTC)
      • It's not capitalised when used independently. For context, the rank is never used as a prefix for Namir, but he's mentioned to be a "first sergeant" at least twice—before and after all of Ajax's appearances. Braha'tok enthusiast ^{(Hello there)} 08:30, 26 January 2021 (UTC)
        • I see, that's fine then. - - -OOM 224 ༼༽^{talk}༼༽ 08:40, 26 January 2021 (UTC)

Toprawa

• This is such an unspecific, ambiguous statement, they "made bad choices." What does this mean? "...where he and another soldier named Twitch made bad choices." Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 20:54, 26 January 2021 (UTC)
  • Does this look better? Braha'tok enthusiast ^{(Hello there)} 21:05, 26 January 2021 (UTC)
    • Maybe. Can you type out or otherwise show me what the source says about this? Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 21:11, 26 January 2021 (UTC)
      • From the first bio quote: "Chenodra. Came up to me during the cleanup. Thought I'd messed up bad, with what Ajax and me had done." Braha'tok enthusiast ^{(Hello there)} 21:22, 26 January 2021 (UTC)
• What does this mean, "have a chance at the governor"? Please clarify: "and speculated that she might have a chance at the governor."
  • Does this work? Braha'tok enthusiast ^{(Hello there)} 08:25, 27 January 2021 (UTC)
• What hunting trip? This needs some better explanation/clarification: "knowing Ajax was going to talk about his former lovers and their hunting trip."
  • I have tweaked the sentence. Braha'tok enthusiast ^{(Hello there)} 08:25, 27 January 2021 (UTC)
    • The sentence still isn't clear as to whether it's referring to a hunting trip Ajax took with Namir or his former lovers. Please clarify. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 22:46, 27 January 2021 (UTC)
      • That should clarify it. Braha'tok enthusiast ^{(Hello there)} 23:13, 27 January 2021 (UTC)
• In the "War stories" section quote, the audio clearly says "cannon" and not "cannons." Is this a discrepancy between the novel and audiobook? Additionally, you should fix that audio clip to eliminate the popping sounds where you edited out the narrations.
  • The novel does not pluralise cannon, that was purely my mistake. Braha'tok enthusiast ^{(Hello there)} 20:40, 27 January 2021 (UTC)
    • Ok. Still waiting on the audio clip fix. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 22:46, 27 January 2021 (UTC)
• Again, context is needed here. Why is Sairgon begging them to stop wasting grenades? "and Lieutenant Sairgon, Evon's second-in-command, begged Ajax and his comrades to stop wasting grenades."
  • Reworded. Braha'tok enthusiast ^{(Hello there)} 08:25, 27 January 2021 (UTC)
• I was somewhat confused by the wording here, so I made an effort to clarify, but I'm not sure if this is perfectly accurate or not. Please confirm: "...setting up a choke point in one of the main passageways while most of the other squads pushed toward the engineering section to clear a path for..."
  • I've corrected it slightly to say that his squad was part of the push. Braha'tok enthusiast ^{(Hello there)} 20:40, 27 January 2021 (UTC)
• So was the Imperial freighter raid successful? The article never says.
  • Fixed. Braha'tok enthusiast ^{(Hello there)} 08:25, 27 January 2021 (UTC)
• I find the entirety of the P/T to be really poorly written. That section isn't telling me anything about the character's personality. All it's doing is just listing off several disjointed incidents with no flow or meaning. I feel like I'm reading a bulleted list of incidents without being given any real understanding of what it's supposed to mean with regard to this character's personality. Don't just jump from one event to the next without some transitioning. Use the P/T in the Winshur Bratt article as a model.
  • I've tried to structure it better. He doesn't have a detailed character development like Bratt so it's mainly his habits and preferences that I have to work with. Braha'tok enthusiast ^{(Hello there)} 20:40, 27 January 2021 (UTC)
• Audio clip issues:
  • The clips in "A game of cards" and Skills and abilities should be cleaned up to remove the audible popping sounds where you edited out the narrations
    • Popping has now been removed from all of the audio used. Ayrehead02 (talk) 09:54, 1 February 2021 (UTC)
  • The Equipment section clip could use a cleaner fade out at the very end so that the cut isn't so tightly on the end of the word "grenades"
    • It's been updated, courtesy of Shay, so it's not abruptly ending now. Braha'tok enthusiast ^{(Hello there)} 08:09, 28 January 2021 (UTC)
• The Ajax's squad article suggests that this squad of his was in action during the Coyerti campaign, while this article only introduces the squad during the freighter raid. Which is correct? Additionally, that article goes into greater detail on the events of the Coyerti campaign, which I feel like this article insufficiently glosses over. Namely, things like the presence of a dozen other squads, being pinned down by the AT-ST, being rescued by the Coyerti, and lobbing grenades until begged to stop (which pretty much goes back to my previous objection asking for context on this). I'd like to see all of these details expanded on in this article. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 02:36, 27 January 2021 (UTC)
  • Ajax only refers to the people he was with on Coyerti as "us," so I've concluded that the info added to the squad article is assumption based. As for the dozen squads part, that was a confusion with this battle, for which I formally thought the target was the same as the garrison. I have removed all speculation. Braha'tok enthusiast ^{(Hello there)} 08:25, 27 January 2021 (UTC)
    • Ok, but were Ajax and his men or whoever pinned down by the AT-ST, and were they rescued by the Coyerti? That should be mentioned if so. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 22:46, 27 January 2021 (UTC)
      • The quote says the walker stared them down, which is why I used "confronted." As for the Coyerti, Ajax didn't say that they were rescuing the rebels, just that they arrived and left the garrison "on fire." Braha'tok enthusiast ^{(Hello there)} 23:13, 27 January 2021 (UTC)
• With regards to your recent edit, you say that Namir was not the commanding officer of Twilight Company until well after Ajax's death. But the article explicitly introduces Namir as Ajax's commanding officer (First Sergeant Hazram Namir, the troopers' commanding officer...), which is why I added that detail into the Skills section. So which is it? Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 22:48, 27 January 2021 (UTC)
  • I missed that when reviewing OOM's copy-edits, apologies. For some extra context, the novel describes Namir's position as first sergeant as being a "high ranking grunt." It's corrected now. Braha'tok enthusiast ^{(Hello there)} 23:13, 27 January 2021 (UTC)
  • Objection(s) overridden by Inquisitorius 19:39, 4 May 2021 (UTC)

Ecks Dee

• I don't suppose the obliteration of the 32nd Infantry deserves an article?
  • I'm not into the idea, but I've remembered Mission to Bestine IV is notable enough, so I've followed the precedent and made it. Braha'tok enthusiast ^{Hello there} 10:01, 18 July 2021 (UTC)
• Reviewing note: the article time describes the passage and measurement of time. The usage in the sentence "Twilight Company was attacked three times in the Metatessu sector" has a different etymology and the word "times" is therefore not appropriate to link in this context. 1358 ^(Talk) 15:22, 17 July 2021 (UTC)
• "As a result, Ajax declared that the next winner of their card game would pick another player to tell their story." As a result of what exactly?
• In the intro, it appears Ajax is recounting the Coyerti campaign during the game of cards, whereas in the body the Coyerti campaign takes place after this ("Twilight Company later launched a campaign on the planet Coyerti"). Which one is correct? 1358 ^(Talk) 19:37, 25 July 2021 (UTC)
  • Both addressed. Braha'tok enthusiast ^{Hello there} 22:45, 25 July 2021 (UTC)
    • Just to clarify, does the Ajax-speaks-about-Coyerti scene occur on the same day as Ajax-talks-about-Chalis? Or does the Coyerti thing happen after the Chalis discussion? 1358 ^(Talk) 19:10, 26 July 2021 (UTC)
      • It does not. I've clarified. Braha'tok enthusiast ^{Hello there} 07:22, 27 July 2021 (UTC)
• One last thing, tangentially related to the above objection. In the intro, you should be saying that Ajax participated in the Coyerti campaign rather than saying that he spoke of it. His participation in the battle is more important to his story than the retelling of it. 1358 ^(Talk) 19:24, 2 August 2021 (UTC)
  • How does this look? Braha'tok enthusiast ^{Hello there} 22:48, 2 August 2021 (UTC)
    • Just reworded a tiny bit to avoid the consecutive "later" sentences. Looks good now. Great work. 1358 ^(Talk) 18:45, 3 August 2021 (UTC)

Comments

Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 23:28, 11 August 2021 (UTC)