Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/M'shinn

< Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations
The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

M'shinn

  • Nominated by: Ayrehead02 (talk) 12:06, October 19, 2013 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments:Some gals who named the Skrilling and rival Ithorians at gardening, seem reasonably interesting to me.

(4 Inqs/2 Users/6 Total)

Support

  1. Thefourdotelipsis (talk) 11:15, October 21, 2013 (UTC)
  2. Inqvote IFYLOFD (Enter the Floydome) 00:47, December 26, 2013 (UTC)
  3. Inqvote Assuming Toprawa is satisfied. CC7567 (talk) 19:15, February 8, 2014 (UTC)
  4. Inqvote Cade GalacticRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit Calrayn 06:31, February 13, 2014 (UTC)
  5. Protectorate (talk) 17:20, February 13, 2014 (UTC)
  6. Inqvote Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 18:18, February 13, 2014 (UTC)

Object

4dot
  • "As parthenogenesis was a similar to a form of cloning, all M'shinheni in a family would look nearly identical, although subtle genetic changes between generations would mean they were not actually identical clones and different rootlines often develop distinctive appearances." - An odd sentence. And the capitalisation of Rootlines is inconsistent.
    • Changed it a bit does it now read better? Also capitalized the Rootlines I missed. Ayrehead02 (talk) 09:58, October 21, 2013 (UTC)
  • "M'shinni evolved from a precursor species which early in their evolutionary history formed a symbiotic relationship with the plant that covered all M'shinni." - A lot of doubling up, should probably be broken up and rephrased.
  • Tis all. Thefourdotelipsis (talk) 02:27, October 21, 2013 (UTC)
El Jefe
  • Is parthenogenesis capitalized or not? You do it both ways.
  • You introduce the Rootline in the B&A section, but don't link to it or give it context until the next section.
    • Added to context and link to B&A Ayrehead02 (talk) 21:40, December 25, 2013 (UTC)
  • "the M'shinni colonized hundred of worlds and systems throughout the M'shinni sector which they lived in, causing the sector to become commonly known as the Mossonian sector" Why would they call it that? Any context?
    • I'd some how completely forgotten to mention they were nicknamed mossies. Good catch. Ayrehead02 (talk) 21:40, December 25, 2013 (UTC)
  • I saw way too much present tense in this. Watch that. Also, avoid contractions. IFYLOFD (Enter the Floydome) 02:52, December 25, 2013 (UTC)
    • Will do in future, thanks for the copyedits! Ayrehead02 (talk) 21:40, December 25, 2013 (UTC)
Toprawa
  • After double-checking your Atlas referencing, I find several of your reference notes to be in error:
    • Ref note 5 references this statement: "By the time of the Clone Wars, between 22 BBY and 19 BBY, the species colonies were within Republic controlled space." However, page 151 in no way provides specific dating of 22 BBY and 19 BBY for the Clone Wars. That needs to be referenced to something that literally supports that information.
      • Ah whoops I'll add a few chronology references. Ayrehead02 (talk) 21:51, January 14, 2014 (UTC)
    • Ref note 6 references this statement: "During the reign of the Galactic Empire, the successor state to the Republic, Genassa fell within Imperial controlled space..." However, page 112 is the Yavin profile page and in no way is relevant to this information.
      • That reference is to the Essential guide to warfare which has the map "Reconquest of the Rim" on page 112. Ayrehead02 (talk) 21:51, January 14, 2014 (UTC)
    • Ref note 7 references this statement: "In 4 ABY after the death of the Galactic Emperor Palpatine, Genassa was no longer considered part of Imperial controlled Space" However, page 194 makes no mention whatsoever of the death of Emperor Palpatine.
      • Changed to mention of the two Invasions. Ayrehead02 (talk) 21:51, January 14, 2014 (UTC)
    • Ref note 12 references this statement: "By 137 ABY the M'shinn colonies fell within the Galactic Empire of the Sith Lord Darth Krayt." However, page 219 is the "Collapse of the Core (26-27 ABY)" map and is in no way relevant to this information.
      • Put the wrong page, fixed. Ayrehead02 (talk) 21:51, January 14, 2014 (UTC)
  • In addition, I find issue with your use of reference note 13, which sources this statement: "In 22 BBY, during the Separatist Crisis, a senator named R'shinnos Sh'neel in the Galactic Senate hailed from Genassa." We only know that the GrS year 13 equates to 22 BBY through other source material, meaning this specific HNN article cannot technically be used to source a 22 BBY date. You should use another source that can.
    • Which source would you suggest? I don't know anything that references that dating system except HNN off the top of my head. Ayrehead02 (talk) 21:51, January 14, 2014 (UTC)
      • The only thing I know that sources the 22 BBY date to its GrS equivalent is the reference note used in that article's infobox. You could use a derivation of that in reference to this HNN article's provided GrS date. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 22:35, January 14, 2014 (UTC)
        • Ok added in a modified version of that reference is it ok? Ayrehead02 (talk) 11:59, January 25, 2014 (UTC)
          • Yes, though I've reworded it to try and make the explanation as simplified as possible. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 18:18, February 13, 2014 (UTC)
  • I would suggest just axing this from the BTS, as it adds no substantive information and is just regurgitating what the Sources list says: "The text mentioning M'shinn from Alien Anthology was then reprinted in the revised and expanded 2003 Ultimate Alien Anthology. The M'shinni received an entry in the 2009 sourcebook The Complete Star Wars Encyclopedia, also being mentioned in the entry for their homeworld, the Skrilling and the Skrilling's homeworld." Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 22:11, January 12, 2014 (UTC)
Attack of the Clone
  • Minor, but nevertheless something to keep in mind in the future: please make sure that all page number ranges use the correct dash. CC7567 (talk) 18:35, February 8, 2014 (UTC)

Comments

Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 18:18, February 13, 2014 (UTC)

  • Could you clarify and/or reference the part about the nickname "mossie"? I seem to recall "mossie" was a derogatory nickname, but I can't be certain. Also, the current version of the article says their sector was nicknamed the Mossonian sector -- isn't this because of another nickname, "Mossonian"? (Unfortunately, my copy of GG12 is packed away in another sector, so I can't check this myself.) —Silly Dan (talk) 22:36, January 12, 2014 (UTC)
    • I can't find reference to it being derogatory or the use of the nickname in GG12, was it in a different source? Ayrehead02 (talk) 21:51, January 14, 2014 (UTC)
      • If it's not in GG12, and it's not in either of the WOTC books, I couldn't say. That's why this wasn't an objection. Thanks for checking, though! —Silly Dan (talk) 04:57, January 15, 2014 (UTC)