Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Lumiya (second nomination)

< Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations
The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Lumiya

  • Nominated by: —Tommy 9281 Tuesday, July 12, 2011, 22:20 UTC
  • Nomination comments: Two years in the making. While my work and my life are not done, I would really welcome a rest nonetheless.

(3 Inqs/4 Users/7 Total)

Support

  1. Pre-nom reviewed. Master Jonathan — Jedi Council Chambers Tuesday, July 12, 2011, 23:06 UTC
    --R9-88754 15:20, August 10, 2011 (UTC) (Vote struck, reason: Per policy: Less than 50 mainspace edits -- Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research (Comlink) 16:11, August 10, 2011 (UTC))
  2. Inqvote Keep spinning that gold, Tommy. Jonjedigrandmaster (Talk) 14:43, February 28, 2012 (UTC)
  3. Inqvote Fantastic work. IFYLOFD (Floyd's crib) 03:18, May 7, 2012 (UTC)
  4. Plagueis327 01:43, May 21, 2012 (UTC)
  5. Inqvote -- Darth Culator (Talk) 02:08, May 21, 2012 (UTC)
  6. —Jedi Kasra (comlink) 13:56, May 30, 2012 (UTC)
  7. Enochf 14:24, May 31, 2012 (UTC)

Object

Prepare to be savaged…
  • The BTS reads as if it was known all along that Brie and Lumiya were the same person, but I don't believe that was the case. Were they not separate characters that were later retconned into one? If so, the BTS should note which source specifically established their unified identity. If this was the plan all along, however, I guess I misunderstood my EU. :) ~SavageBOB sig 18:07, August 10, 2011 (UTC)
    • The comics make clear that Brie was intended to be Lumiya all along. The only retcon I am aware of was identified in The Essential Chronology with regard to her Emperor's Hand status.—Tommy 9281 Wednesday, August 10, 2011, 23:36 UTC
      • OK, I'm reading through Marvel now, and guess I got some bad intel. I'll try to give the article a full review soon. ~SavageBOB sig 14:12, August 11, 2011 (UTC)
  • OK, on to the lead: "His Imperial Majesty" seems quite strange in an encyclopedia article, and even seems a bit POV to me. Why not change it to just "Galactic Emperor"? He certainly wasn't "Imperial Majesty" to the Rebels.
    • You're #2 to make that suggestion, so I concede.—Tommy 9281 Monday, August 29, 2011, 01:41 UTC
  • A bit of context on the New Order is probably warranted.
    • Addressed.
  • "the latter of which" --> since the sentence is getting kind of long, I'd suggest either breaking it down a bit (either into two sentences or with a semicolon) or indicating "the latter goal of which" or somesuch to indicate what "latter" is referring to.
    • Addressed.
  • Since expatriation refers to nations and states, I'm not sure we can use it for Luke's leaving the Alliance. Perhaps exile?
    • Addressed.
  • It seems a bit strange to call her lightwhip infamous at first mention; it takes time to gain infamy, so it's almost anachronistic unless you add some clunky qualifier, like "which would become infamous." Probably best to just ditch it on first mention.
    • Addressed.
  • Lumiya's "defaulting" to Mistress of the Sith needs a bit of explanation. Why would their deaths change her ranking/title? ~SavageBOB sig 00:55, August 29, 2011 (UTC)
    • Addressed.
  • Is her "similar Imperial program" worth an article? ~SavageBOB sig 02:32, September 8, 2011 (UTC)
    • I would say nah, it's a really vague mention.—Tommy 9281 Thursday, September 8, 2011, 06:34 UTC
  • "A short time before circa 1.5 ABY," This time phrase is a bit confusing; is there a comma missing? (Sorry my review is taking so long...) ~SavageBOB sig 02:37, September 8, 2011 (UTC)
    • Addressed. No worries about the review, I'm as patient as she is :P—Tommy 9281 Thursday, September 8, 2011, 06:34 UTC
  • "the domestic race..." Can you maybe come up with another word for "domestic"? Would "native" or "indigenous" work? Or "dominant"? "Domestic" reads weirdly to me, since I think it's more applicable to nation-states, not planets. Then again, this is Star Wars... ~SavageBOB sig 12:48, September 12, 2011 (UTC)
    • Addressed.—Tommy 9281 Friday, September 16, 2011, 04:52 UTC
  • "To that end, Brie again joined Flying Bantha Squadron alongside Skywalker and two additional pilots, Alph and Hanc Thorben, to partake in a mission which involved the sabotage of the Imperial armada by infiltration of the fleet as disguised TIE pilots by means of the TIE fighters[28] that had been previously obtained on Bazarre station." This sentence is pretty long, especially where it starts talking about TIE fighters. Perhaps break it up? ~SavageBOB sig 02:11, September 28, 2011 (UTC)
    • Addressed.—Tommy 9281 Wednesday, September 28, 2011, 04:16 UTC
  • Can you add a tad more context on King Adas? We're told he's legendary, so I kind of feel we need to know a bit about what he did to make him so. ~SavageBOB sig 11:46, September 30, 2011 (UTC)
    • Addressed.
  • Is it Finn or the stormtrooper who is supposed to be the first to die? ~SavageBOB sig 11:53, September 30, 2011 (UTC)
    • Addressed. I also removed the link for the stormtrooper, since he's one of many randomly insignificant stormtroopers.—Tommy 9281 Friday, September 30, 2011, 23:02 UTC
  • Just a couple of questions about the Epsilon Nine part: the first sentence of the third paragraph is a bit confusing, since it's hard to tell whether the Corvette and X-Wings are allied with Lumiya or the New Republic. Could you clarify which ships belong to which side?
    • Addressed.
  • I was trying to find some way to keep the word "traitors" without sounding POV; maybe add, "Those whom she considered traitors"? Elegant it ain't, but flat-out calling them traitors seems to run afoul of NPOV.
    • Addressed.
  • I linked the dude she chokes. Unlike the stormtrooper above, I think this guy deserves a stubby article, as he's got a picture and (presumably) a speaking role. I am ready to tackle the novel bits soon! ~SavageBOB sig 14:24, October 9, 2011 (UTC)
  • "a massacre first enacted..." Can you add a few more words of explanation here? Was the slaughter of the Prophets unsuccessful for some reason? "A massacre first enacted but left incomplete by..." would suffice, I think, if that's what happened. ~SavageBOB sig 14:34, October 9, 2011 (UTC)
    • Addressed.
  • "the galaxy was invaded by the extra-galactic invaders" --> Can you mix up the language a bit here to avoid invaded, invaders?
    • Lmao, funny how the eye's get crossed. Addressed.
  • Did the Vong plan to eradicate all technology, or simply all technology that wasn't biological in origin? I haven't read the NJO books, but my understanding of the Vong is that they do use tech, it's just their own style of tech, no? ~SavageBOB sig 12:58, October 14, 2011 (UTC)
    • Check that out.—Tommy 9281 Monday, October 17, 2011, 21:10 UTC
  • OK, I'm back! "It was the subsequent secession movement for which the Five Worlds confederacy began to muster support that Lumiya decided to agitate in order to plunge the galaxy into conflict and enable the rise of Jacen Solo." This sentence is a bit unwieldy and hard to follow. Maybe split it in two?
    • I tried something, see if it is good now.—Tommy 9281 Monday, November 7, 2011, 05:25 UTC
  • "three ferals" -- what's a feral? ~SavageBOB sig 15:33, October 22, 2011 (UTC)
  • OK, almost done with the review. I've just finished reading through the biography, and once you switch from comics to novels, I feel the level of play-by-play gets to be a bit much. I'd suggest reading through the novel information and toning down on extraneous details, like specific moves made in various combats, specifics of tests given to Jacen Solo, extraneous maneuvers made by the Alliance fleet, etc. Unfortunately, this will require reading through the very long biography to simplify such details, but I feel that the current level of detail is perhaps too much. I should get through the P&T and BTS soon. ~SavageBOB sig 15:32, November 18, 2011 (UTC)
    • I agree that it becomes more detailed with the transition, which is mostly cause by the absence of illustrations. That's because there is much (and I mean waaaaaaaay too much) conversation, much more than actual action. To remove much of what you describe will cause significant gaps in context. I know it does seem slightly PBP, but again, I truly feel those details are necessary to provide sufficient context.—Tommy 9281 Friday, November 18, 2011, 17:15 UTC
      • I'll give you some examples of stuff I think could be trimmed or summarized shortly. For now, though, I want to finish the full review. ~SavageBOB sig 17:14, December 18, 2011 (UTC)
        • OK, sorry for taking months on this -- But I honestly just don't have time to read through this article again (40+ pages printed) and give examples of the excessive detail that I think goes beyond what's necessary. It's a well-written piece, mind you; my hat's off to you, Tommy! Unfortunately, I'm just not in a position to give examples of where I think the fat needs to be trimmed. I'll go ahead and strike this objection, so I won't hold up the nomination. But I won't be able to support due to the over-detail. Sorry. :/ ~SavageBOB sig 01:17, February 29, 2012 (UTC)
  • OK, finals are over and I can finally finish this review. My apologies it's taken so long. First, under "Appearance," you discuss her exuberance. Should this go somewhere else, since it doesn't pertain to her physical appearance?
    • Addressed.
  • There are a couple of monstrous paragraphs in the P&T, particularly the one starting with "Shira Brie underwent extensive…" and the one beginning with "Upon her transformation…" Would it be possible to break these up into at least two paragraphs each?
    • Addressed.
  • I don't think you ever outright say that the character known as Ship also went by the name Ship. You call him other things first and then just start talking about someone named "Ship." It took me off guard, and it's highly possible I just missed it, but can you check to make sure the character is identified on first mention or thereabouts?
    • Addressed.
  • This could just be my relative ignorance of longer character articles, but is it worthwhile to separate "Relationships" form "Interactions"? Why not fold the latter into the former or vice-versa? Or is "Relationships" reserved for romantic relationships? It seems like six of one, half a dozen of the other to me, and might make for more coherence to treat them in the same main subsection.
    • The traditional "relationship" section is designated solely for romances.—Tommy 9281 Wednesday, January 11, 2012, 00:49 UTC
  • I didn't change this, but I'm not sure embossed is the right term for describing the application of a metallic sheen. The way I understand it, embossing relates to carving or etching a design into a surface such that the design stands out in relief, hence my reservation with the word in this instance.
    • Addressed.
  • Should her Force-influenced mirrors have an article of their own, rather than simply pointing to the mirror article? They sound like they might warrant it.
    • No, they weren't that significant, they were just mirrors in her house that she put a spell on.—Tommy 9281 Wednesday, January 18, 2012, 02:55 UTC
  • Can you add dates to the first paragraph of "Character development?" Perhaps not dates for each issue in which she appeared, but the publication dates of her first appearance as Shira Brie and her first appearance as Lumiya would be useful. Similarly, you talk about "six years later" for her appearance in The Emperor's Pawns, but we don't have a date for six years later than what (for Lumiya: Dark Star of the Empire. Sprinkling a few years through the second paragraph would thus be helpful for the reader. Finally, it would be nice to have a publication date for at least her first portrayal in the Del Rey books, if not for all of them.
    • Addressed.
  • Should StarWars.com be italicized or no? It's both ways currently. I personally wouldn't italicize it.
    • Addressed.
  • Should you mention Hasbro somewhere in the BTS? There's an image but no mention that I can see.
    • Addressed.
  • Have you read through the article "How to Draw Star Wars the Marvel Way"? It probably has more helpful BTS information for you. That's it from me, Tommy. Excellent work on a monstrous topic. ~SavageBOB sig 17:14, December 18, 2011 (UTC)
    • i don't have it, I'm working on getting the material, unless of course you could provide via email. Thanks for the review, Bob, please advise if anything further is required.
    • I read the entire article and it only mentions Lumiya once, with no information that isn't already provided for in my article.—Tommy 9281 Tuesday, February 28, 2012, 23:18 UTC
      • Here's what I'd consider pertinent: The storyline featuring Luke after he thinks he's killed her was a personal favorite of Michelinie and Simonson. In fact, Simonson wanted to extend the arc by a couple of issues. (p. 10). But, yeah, the stuff about post-op Lumiya is pretty sparse. ~SavageBOB sig 12:58, February 29, 2012 (UTC)
        • Addressed, but now I have 2 redlinks for which I have no ability to create articles for. This presents a problem...—Tommy 9281 Friday, March 23, 2012, 01:29 UTC
          • I can fill them in, but I wonder if they should have articles at all. The article is useful and worthy of an article in my opinion, but it is from a non-licensed source, so perhaps the magazine it's in and the author aren't notable for our purposes. ~SavageBOB sig 03:12, March 23, 2012 (UTC)
The Dolphin Attacks
  • Disclaimer: Keep in mind that this is only a preliminary review, and please contact me on my talk page if I forget to address any comments as I occasionally do.--ID-21 Dolphin DolphinJedi(Talk) 19:03, August 21, 2011 (UTC)
  • First of all, the intro should be cut to roughly 3/4 of its current size. I notice that you've been cutting it down over the last couple months, just a little more would be fine.
  • The lead quote is very vague and uninteresting; essentially it only states her name and her alias, which are already stated in the prose of the first paragraph. The quote at the top of revision is better suited because it offers more of an insight into her history and personality. Otherwise, if you can find another really good quote, I'm always open.
  • Speaking of quotes, the quote in the "legacy" section is waaaaay too long to serve its purpose. I would suggest keeping just the first four lines or otherwise the third and fourth line by themselves.
  • And the quote in "Seducing a Jedi" is also too long, which can be a little annoying for monologue. I would cut it down from "'Take what I have to teach you, Jacen'" to the end which makes it a much more concise and powerful quote.
  • In the first part of the biography, the Carida and Chinshassa images should be replaced with images of Lumiya herself as is preferable. There's a nice NEGTC images that was delted from the site some time ago for being unused, but it would probably fit best there. Other images like that of Flint and that of Rebel pilot Skywalker could be changed to some ofLumiya, since comics are usually high on images.
  • Also, for images, this one seems like too much of a stretch from Lumiya and the events in the book to belong in this section. This image of Lumiya would fit much better IMO seeing as it's always better to include images of the subject if possible.
  • I would add an imagecat to the Appearances section.
  • Some of the more verbose parts of the intro could be cut down; for example, "His Imperial Majesty Palpatine" is a little too grandiose and could be changed to simply "Emperor Palpatine".
  • Also, Lumiya should be mentioned as her main name in the first sentence of the intro, since having it at the end of the paragraph seems too far.
  • Otherwise great work. That's all for now.--ID-21 Dolphin DolphinJedi(Talk) 19:03, August 21, 2011 (UTC)
  • And by the way, that nomination comment is hilarious. :) --ID-21 Dolphin DolphinJedi(Talk) 19:04, August 21, 2011 (UTC)
    • The intro is well in proportion with the article proper. It was once said that there is a subtlety to quote selection that few writers possess; such is the case with the lead quote. Other things like image and quote choice, etc. are matters of preference; I happened to write the current version of the article, complete with images that reflect the particular sections in which they are found. Basically, each of these preliminary objections qualifies as a matter of stylistic opinion rather than issues that warrant objection.—Tommy 9281 Sunday, August 21, 2011, 19:15 UTC
  • These objections have been addressed for more than three weeks now. I request that they be stricken by the Inquisitorius.—Tommy 9281 Friday, September 16, 2011, 04:52 UTC
  • Objection(s) overridden by Inquisitorius 03:36, October 9, 2011 (UTC)
Jujiggum
  • In Joining the Rebellion: "Enraged by the revelation, the fabrication went, Brie sought out the Alliance and decided to enlist." A word missing here? (Or am I just reading this incorrectly…?)
    • Addressed.
  • Absolutely fantastic stuff so far, Tommy. I'll continue with Lieutenant Brie. Jonjedigrandmaster (Talk) 15:31, December 1, 2011 (UTC)
  • "on a mission to D'rinba IV to disable the superlaser of the second Death Star." Link for the mission? Were they successful or not?
    • From what I understand, the game doesn't make clear the outcome of the mission, so I didn't include on in the final article cut.—Tommy 9281 Wednesday, December 28, 2011, 00:51 UTC
  • "Shalyvane's Em'liy natives ambushed the Rebels and forced them to take cover." Link for this skirmish, too?
    • Redlinked for later.—Tommy 9281 Wednesday, December 28, 2011, 00:51 UTC
  • Continuing with Rebirth later. Jonjedigrandmaster (Talk) 19:46, December 1, 2011 (UTC)
  • I'll pick up with Nagai–Tof conflict. Apologies for having to do this review in such small increments; feel free to work through these objections as I go. Jonjedigrandmaster (Talk) 03:29, December 10, 2011 (UTC)
  • Link for the first ambush on and later mission to/skirmish on Kinooine? What about the subsequent rescue mission?
  • Link for the mission to destroy the Prophets of the Dark Side? I'll continue with Striking from the Shadows later. Jonjedigrandmaster (Talk) 21:11, December 17, 2011 (UTC)
    • Redlinked.
  • "She made her way back to the Yuuzhan Vong, mid-year, whereupon she inveigled her way into the confidence of Tsavong Lah himself." I'm not catching the mid-year reference here, and I'm not certain on what you mean with the wording, either. I'll continue with Puppetmaster. Jonjedigrandmaster (Talk) 16:47, December 22, 2011 (UTC)
    • When you say not catching mid-year, what do you mean? The source describes the events as having occurred mid year. And the wording has also been adjusted. Thanks thus far for the review Jon, I look forward to the rest. I'll be taking care of the redlinks asap.—Tommy 9281 Wednesday, December 28, 2011, 00:51 UTC
      • No problem. For the mid-year, I'm not sure exactly to which year you're referring (the last one you named was 25 ABY, but I'm pretty sure this was later). Jonjedigrandmaster (Talk) 03:31, December 28, 2011 (UTC)
        • Addressed.—Tommy 9281 Thursday, January 26, 2012, 01:13 UTC
  • "…but dismissed any further conversation as they ascended Dour floors in a turbolift…" Typo? Continuing with Sith Master later. Jonjedigrandmaster (Talk) 18:00, January 6, 2012 (UTC)
    • Lol addressed.
  • "Under the assumption that Lumiya had intentions of vengeance on Ben Skywalker, the Skywalkers immediately intercepted the Colonel…" Please mention at some point before this that Jacen became a Colonel; otherwise, the reader might get confused.
    • Addressed.
  • "The meeting was a twofold trap, however, as Lumiya agreed to also venture to Roqoo Depot under to secretly oversee Ben Skywalker's safe passage to the Anakin." Typo? I'll continue with Interference asap. Jonjedigrandmaster (Talk) 16:16, January 20, 2012 (UTC)
    • Addressed.
  • What was the "Syo package?"
    • The book literally gives no supporting details about the Syo package, nor does it ever mention it again afterward. Including that was very awkward because of our context requirement, but none whatsoever was given in the book.—Tommy 9281 Thursday, January 26, 2012, 01:13 UTC
  • "…but was surprised to find Alema Rar also present and intent on killing Mara Jade Skywalker, also on station with her husband, and the fast approaching Han Solo." Do you mean that Rar was intent on killing Mara and Han? Either way, please make this a bit clearer. Continuing with Victory later. Jonjedigrandmaster (Talk) 16:03, January 24, 2012 (UTC)
    • Addressed.—Tommy 9281 Thursday, January 26, 2012, 01:13 UTC
  • "When she lost her footing and fell, dropping her lightwhip into the chasm in the process, Skywalker saved her, only to decapitate her as she recovered." Could you make it a bit more clear that his saving her was only for the purpose to ensure her death? As is, it's a bit confusing as to why he'd save her and then decapitate her.
    • Addressed.
  • In Legacy: link for the battle in which Seer died?
    • I don't know of one, and a quick browse of the site and the novel's page yield nothing. I'll create a link/article.—Tommy 9281 Tuesday, February 28, 2012, 03:13 UTC
  • At some points you refer to Ship as an "it," and on at least one other occasion as a "he." I don't personally have a preference regarding which one you use, since canonical arguments could be made for both; I think it would just be best to be consistent within the article.
    • I found only one inconsistency, and fixed it. Let me know please if you see more.—Tommy 9281 Tuesday, February 28, 2012, 03:13 UTC
  • I'm not sure that the last two sentences of the Appearance subsection really fit there.
    • The part about the protein drinks was not so relevant and thus removed, but because of the significance of her two identities, the other information most appropriately belongs where it is, given the chronological presentation of the information.—Tommy 9281 Tuesday, February 28, 2012, 03:13 UTC
  • Is the attribution for the quote of the "Lumiya" subsection of Personality in the right order? Didn't Rar speak the first line? I'll continue with Interactions. Jonjedigrandmaster (Talk) 19:58, January 27, 2012 (UTC)
    • Addressed.
  • Picking up with the BTS asap. Jonjedigrandmaster (Talk) 16:02, January 31, 2012 (UTC)
  • Review complete (finally). Apologies again for taking so long; absolutely fantastic work. Jonjedigrandmaster (Talk) 16:55, February 11, 2012 (UTC)
    • Thanks for the review, Jon. I apologize for my sporadic responses. Please advise if anything further is required.—Tommy 9281 Tuesday, February 28, 2012, 03:13 UTC
Floyd
  • Intro: "Brie's dedication to the tenets of the Imperial New Order doctrine garnered the interest of his chief enforcer," The way this is worded is somewhat vague. Reword it to make it more clear that "he" refers to Palpatine.
    • Addressed.
  • For much of the intro there's no real sense of the time period and/or years that the events take place.
    • I disagree. Do you want years to be specifically stated?—Tommy 9281 Friday, March 23, 2012, 01:09 UTC
      • Couldn't hurt. IFYLOFD (Floyd's crib) 01:21, March 24, 2012 (UTC)
        • I still disagree. Many of the named events/topics do well to mark time. 25 ABY marks a specific time, which also provides the sense of time that is carried throughout the remainder of the intro.—Tommy 9281 Monday, May 7, 2012, 01:06 UTC
          • Fair enough.
  • Intro: "as the foremost of their pupils despite her deficient training" This makes it sound like she was poorly trained, rather than her training being disrupted by the deaths of Palpatine and Vader. If it's the latter, this should be reworded.
  • Addressed.
  • Intro: "Purpose-driven toward vengeance against Luke Skywalker and the Alliance," You have this here, but no reason why she would desire revenge.
    • Addressed.
  • Intro: Link to the "critical defeat" she suffered during the Nagai invasion?
    • Addressed.
  • Intro: Regarding the Nagai-Tof War, you characterize it as an invasion of the galaxy, rather than a war against the Tofs, then mention the Tofs later in the section. They needs to be more context here.
    • Addressed.
  • Intro: Context on the Sith oracle stone.
    • Addressed.
  • Intro: Context on the Yuuzhan Vong.
    • Addressed.
  • Intro: At the end of the section you call Luke Skywalker her "one-time lover-turned-nemesis", but no previous mention is given of such a relationship.
    • Addressed.
  • Early life: Link to the "similar Imperial program"?
    • Addressed.
  • More to come. IFYLOFD (Floyd's crib) 02:09, February 29, 2012 (UTC)
    • I'm on it. Thank you for the review.—Tommy 9281 Friday, March 23, 2012, 01:09 UTC
  • Training on Carida: Context on Bantha Squad.
    • Addressed.
  • Any reason why she would turn down the opportunity to fly the shuttle to Carida?
    • None was ever given.—Tommy 9281 Sunday, April 8, 2012, 17:30 UTC
  • Training on Carida: You should probably add a mention of the "bug walker" nickname to better connect the recounting of the event with the quote.
    • Addressed.
  • Lieutenant Brie: "A lobot" doesn't seem right. I don't think that lobot was the real term for what he was. Cyborg is probably better. Thoughts?
    • Addressed.
  • The first sentence of the "Alliance heroine" section rambles on pretty long and should probably be split up.
    • Addressed.
  • In fact, much of the section has this same problem.
    • Addressed.
  • You've been alternating somewhat between "X-wing" and "X-Wing". Make it consistent.
    • Addressed.
  • Is there any info on how she takes the name Lumiya?
  • You mention Lumiya's resemblance to Vader during her dealings with the Mecrosa Order, but no previous mention is made of this. Kinda comes out of nowhere.
    • Addressed.
  • Events on Herdessa: "As the princess fled after Suzu, the humiliated Lumiya vowed to deal with both the naysayer and the offworlder who had interceded on her behalf." This sentence and the ones before don't really make it clear which one is which.
    • Addressed.
  • Again in the next paragraph with the "insurgent".
    • Addressed.
  • A little more context on Den Siva would be beneficial.
    • Attache was quite sufficient.—Tommy 9281 Sunday, April 8, 2012, 17:30 UTC
  • More to come. IFYLOFD (Floyd's crib) 01:21, March 24, 2012 (UTC)
  • Context on Come-Up Flector.
    • Come-Up Flector is the context. That's like asking for context for Sith Lord or something.—Tommy 9281 Tuesday, May 1, 2012, 23:53 UTC
      • I disagree. Something like Jedi or Sith can go uncontextualized, because its something pretty much everyone who would be on Wookieepedia would know. Come-Up Flector is different, I'm on Wookieepedia all the time and even I have no idea what it is. Just contextualize it or find a different way to describe it. IFYLOFD (Floyd's crib) 02:25, May 4, 2012 (UTC)
        • Addressed.
  • I think that the New Republic saying Lumiya was killed at the end of the Nagai-Tof War could be mentioned earlier.
    • Addressed.
  • Any reason why Carnor Jax would turn on Lumiya?
    • Reasons are never given.—Tommy 9281 Tuesday, May 1, 2012, 23:53 UTC
  • Return of the Emperor: "Jax's links to Anor were lost upon his death on Yinchorr, and Lumiya was unable to respond to the individual's advances." What advances? Did Anor try to contact her afterward?
    • Addressed.
  • "Although her chaperons were captured by the invaders, Lumiya eluded them to plot her next course of action." "Them" means the Yuuzhan Vong, right? Make it a little more clear.
    • Addressed.
  • In "A plan for the galaxy", you give the impression that Vergere was willing to ally with the One Sith and the Rule of One, but the previous section makes it quite clear that she was strictly adherent to the Rule of Two. Please clear this up.
    • Addressed.
  • LotF sections could use some paragraph breaks.
    • I disagree. The paragraphs are adequate size given the information and the article size as a whole.—Tommy 9281 Tuesday, May 1, 2012, 23:53 UTC
      • Some of these paragraphs are monstrous in size. You don't have to break up all of them, but a few, like the first paragraph of "Reunion" for example, definitely need breaks. IFYLOFD (Floyd's crib) 00:30, May 7, 2012 (UTC)
        • Addressed.
  • Context on the Galactic Alliance Guard.
  • Context on what exactly the World Brain was.
    • Context given in the form of "friend and spy..." Readers who want more info can click the link.—Tommy 9281 Tuesday, May 1, 2012, 23:53 UTC
  • I think "monstrosity" is a bit POV.
    • Addressed.
  • Context on why Alema wanted revenge against the Solos.
    • Addressed.
  • More to come. IFYLOFD (Floyd's crib) 02:12, April 10, 2012 (UTC)
  • Reunion: "Under the assumption that Lumiya had intentions of vengeance on Ben Skywalker, the Skywalkers immediately intercepted Solo, who had since received an Alliance Colonel's commission, was en route to Hapes on board the Anakin Solo, and related their discoveries and their decision to remove their son from active GAG duty." This sentence runs on and doesn't really add up correctly.
    • Addressed.
  • I think you should make it more clear that number 357 was the amendment that Lumiya added.
    • Addressed.
  • "From the meeting she also learned that Ben Skywalker defeated Byalfin Dyur, whom she suspected to hear from soon, and unfavorably." What exactly does this mean? She suspected to hear from him unfavorably?
    • addressed.
  • "When the potential for opposition in the gallery manifested, Lumiya put it down," How so?
    • Addressed.
  • Will continue with P&T shortly. IFYLOFD (Floyd's crib) 00:30, May 7, 2012 (UTC)
Opinions, opinions…
  • In the Personality section header, shouldn't it be "Brie" as opposed to "Shira;" or even "Shira Brie?" Since we use surnames when referring to an individual throughout the article, should the headers not be the one of the suggestions aforementioned? Other than that, great work, Tommy!—Jedi Kasra (comlink) 07:19, May 21, 2012 (UTC)
    • Addressed. Thanks for the review, Jedi Kasra. Please advise if anything further is required.—Tommy 9281 Wednesday, May 30, 2012, 00:32 UTC

Comments

Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 02:04, June 1, 2012 (UTC)

  • Special thanks to Menkooroo, for providing much of the behind the scenes material. Tremendous thanks to Master Jonathan, who provided a stellar copy edit and with zeal. This nomination is dedicated to Harrar, who initially began this project with me, but has since left the site to pursue other endeavors. Here's to you, my friend, thank you.—Tommy 9281 Tuesday, July 12, 2011, 22:20 UTC
  • Lumiya should be nominates as good article.--Nihilus 16:36, August 21, 2011 (UTC)
  • Menkooroo's pointed out that there's no obvious consensus on this (or that the consensus is perhaps against my opinion?), but in my view, Chewbacca on first mention should perhaps be called something else than simpy a "Wookiee." Everyone else in the text gets to be called by their rank or role, but he's only his species. Again, my view, and I do intend to start a SH thread about this eventually, but I wanted to bring it up at least as a comment. Continuing review slowly but surely. :) ~SavageBOB sig 01:55, September 28, 2011 (UTC)
    • Addressed.—Tommy 9281 Wednesday, September 28, 2011, 04:16 UTC

Vote to strike objections by ID-21 Dolphin (Inq only)

  1. Inqvote Objections have been addressed for more than three weeks. 1358 (Talk) 12:25, September 16, 2011 (UTC)
  2. Inqvote CC7567 (talk) 01:25, September 17, 2011 (UTC)
  3. Inqvote Cavalier OneFarStar(Squadron channel) 14:13, September 20, 2011 (UTC)
  4. Inqvote -- Darth Culator (Talk) 17:38, October 8, 2011 (UTC)
  5. Inqvote Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research (Comlink) 03:34, October 9, 2011 (UTC)

Vote to remove nomination (Inq only)

  1. Inqvote For the third time, there are outstanding objections more than three weeks old. It took talk page reminders to get the first two instances addressed; when a nom by anybody is so consistently neglected, it should face the rules. Menkooroo 17:59, February 21, 2012 (UTC)
    • As a note: My review took two full months and was sporadic at best within that time frame, and since I didn't technically finish it until February 11th, I'm willing to give him until three weeks after that date. (I'll completely understand if this gets voted off now; I'm just noting why I personally am not voting to remove just yet.) Jonjedigrandmaster (Talk) 17:56, February 22, 2012 (UTC)
      • Unstruck due to another round of three-week old objections. Menkooroo 20:31, March 21, 2012 (UTC)
        • There is an unaddressed objection from February 29, and another one from April 10th. I'm getting pretty tired of this. Menkooroo 21:48, May 2, 2012 (UTC)
        • And I'm getting pretty tired of you trying to make a name for yourself in this manner, Menkooroo. They're being worked on, albeit slowly, but obviously.—Tommy 9281 Wednesday, May 2, 2012, 21:55 UTC
          • There's no need to get defensive or accuse me of having any sort of agenda. I'm simply upholding the rules, which do apply to everyone, and insulting me for doing so isn't going to accomplish anything. Just address the objections and try to be more punctual in the future. Menkooroo 22:03, May 2, 2012 (UTC)
          • You haven't been insulted, not here. They are being taken care of, period.—Tommy 9281 Wednesday, May 2, 2012, 22:08 UTC
    Inqvote Don't like to see this happen to big projects, but Wookieepedia's train stops for no man. Toprawa and Ralltiir 22:06, March 21, 2012 (UTC)
    Inqvote Choo choo? CC7567 (talk) 04:52, March 22, 2012 (UTC)