- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.
Lachichuk
- Nominated by: Menkooroo 08:27, May 10, 2011 (UTC)
- Nomination comments: Welcome to Wookieepedia!
(4 Inqs/2 Users/6 Total)
Support
IFYLOFD (Floyd's crib) 01:07, May 12, 2011 (UTC)- ~Savage
04:16, May 14, 2011 (UTC) - Grand Moff Tranner
(Comlink) 00:50, May 20, 2011 (UTC) - Kilson(Let's have a chat) 02:36, May 23, 2011 (UTC)
- Toprawa and Ralltiir 18:00, June 6, 2011 (UTC)
- --Eyrezer 10:16, June 10, 2011 (UTC)
Object
Floyd:
"Battling on foot alongside Lachichuk and Merumeru were other Wookiees such as Guanta, Salporin, and Gorrlyn." Is this really relevant? This is about Lachichuk, not the battle itself.- You're right. Removed.
In fact the second half of that paragraph reads rather choppy. Please address to fix the flow.- I found and changed the sentence that I imagine was the chief offender. Here's a link to all of the changes I made for handy reference.
"Jedi across the galaxy were similarly executed as part of the Chancellor's ploy to seize unchallenged control of the Republic; his ploy also included having the Confederacy's Separatist Council murdered and the war brought to an end." The word "ploy" is used twice here, please vary the word choice.- Changed the second one to "scheme."
Context on Guania in the body.- Added "the male Wookiee." There really isn't anything else to be said about him, as you'll see in my next GAN.
- Well done. IFYLOFD (Floyd's crib) 01:21, May 11, 2011 (UTC)
- Thank you! Let me know if there's anything else I can do to improve it. Menkooroo 04:50, May 11, 2011 (UTC)
Prepare to be savaged…
All of the Wookiee costumes for ROTS seem to have dark-brown fingers and foot soles; if you can find a source that shows that part of Lachi's anatomy, I think you should add skin color to the infobox and P&T.- Good find. Added.
I think some of the info you have in the article is not relevant to Lachichuk. The quote used for "Defending Kachirho" is understandably being used for color, but in my mind, it seems completely irrelevant to this Wookiee. Similarly, the greater details of the battle's strategy seem out of place here (it's enough to know that battle droids attacked the planet, but maybe not necessary to note the exact enumeration of those forces). I also think it's not necessary to name each of the Jedi who fought in the battle; enough to mention that clones and Jedi came to help, if even that much is warranted. Finally, no need to mention that some Wookiees fought this way, others this way, and clones this way. Only the way Lachichuk fought is relevant, in my opinion. (I understand that you and I have somewhat different philosophies on this -- I wager my Guanta article is underwritten with regard to the battle. But I do think much of this detail is beyond the scope of an article about a simple soldier.:))- Yeah, I definitely went overboard on the details of the battle. I've removed some extraneous stuff about the initial invasion, the Jedi Masters, and about the various assault vehicles and vine-swingers and stuff. Check it out. As for the quote, I see nothing wrong with it, as it's directly related to Lachichuk's actions during that section. There's plenty of precedent for using quotes that aren't directly about a character, per se, in certain bio sections, and if there's a semi-relevant quote related to something the character did that can be used, I think that it's better than no quote at all. With that said, I've modified the quote attribution here to explicitly mention Lachichuk. Thoughts?
- Meh, probably extraneous, but it's not hurtin' anything either. :) ~Savage 04:16, May 14, 2011 (UTC)
- Meh, probably extraneous, but it's not hurtin' anything either. :) ~Savage
- Yeah, I definitely went overboard on the details of the battle. I've removed some extraneous stuff about the initial invasion, the Jedi Masters, and about the various assault vehicles and vine-swingers and stuff. Check it out. As for the quote, I see nothing wrong with it, as it's directly related to Lachichuk's actions during that section. There's plenty of precedent for using quotes that aren't directly about a character, per se, in certain bio sections, and if there's a semi-relevant quote related to something the character did that can be used, I think that it's better than no quote at all. With that said, I've modified the quote attribution here to explicitly mention Lachichuk. Thoughts?
Were all of the Wookiees using bowcasters? It seems from the BTS footage (particularly The Wookiees Are Back!) that there were other weapons used too.- Too true. Remedied.
I think most of the first paragraph of "Battle's aftermath" is irrelevant to Lachichuk. Which Jedi were killed, what Sidious did, how the Confederacy ended-- these are large-scale events that have little bearing here in my opinion. Try to refocus everything on Lachichuk and his/her POV.- I've tightened it up a bit, removing some repetition and extraneous detail at the beginning of the paragraph. Regarding Palpatine's actions and the end of the Confederacy, though, I feel it's important to give a few words of context on just how the war could abruptly end like that; tying Palpatine's execution of the Sep. council into his grand scheme to seize control of the galaxy is, I think, a good way to do that, and a good way to establish that he does seize control, so that the Imperial troops turning against the Wookiees they fought alongside days earlier (and Palpatine suddenly being an Emperor) doesn't come out of nowhere later in the section. It's the events of Dark Lord which necessitate these kinds of things being established earlier on --- does that make sense?
- Yeah, it's fine now. ~Savage 04:16, May 14, 2011 (UTC)
Is the fur brown streaked with blond or with black? The infobox and P&T disagree.- Fixed, but the shame remains!
That's it! Nice work, Menk. ~Savage 04:18, May 13, 2011 (UTC)- Thanks for the review (and for all the bts info!!!!). Guanta is next on my review list. :D Menkooroo 07:25, May 13, 2011 (UTC)
Moffship
Per the discussion on the Guanta GAN and overwhelming site precedence, the Illustrated Screenplay is a source, not an appearance. Please adjust the article accordingly.Grand Moff Tranner (Comlink) 13:10, May 14, 2011 (UTC)
- Done. Menkooroo 13:16, May 14, 2011 (UTC)
- I'll give the article a full review later in the day, when I have some spare time. Grand Moff Tranner (Comlink) 13:17, May 14, 2011 (UTC)
- I'll give the article a full review later in the day, when I have some spare time. Grand Moff Tranner
- Done. Menkooroo 13:16, May 14, 2011 (UTC)
Kilson
Just one thing. Could you briefly mention the Republic's reformation into the Empire and the Empire's assault on Kashyyyk in the Intro? Otherwise, good job. I must also say, you're doing a fantastic job maintaining the barn-burner. I can't wait till the next one. :)Kilson(Let's have a chat) 03:40, May 22, 2011 (UTC)- Thanks for the kind words! I had that info in an early draft of the intro, but I ultimately removed it, and here's why: The last time that Lachichuk is mentioned in Dark Lord is actually before the Empire arrives onworld and begins to subjugate the planet --- there's no mention of the character made during the battle and no indication that s/he is a part of it at all; in essence, Lachichuk's story (so far) ends when Starstone and the renegade Jedi are brought to see Tarfful. In the bio, the battle is mentioned in one sentence at the end for completeness' sake, but as we can't really associate it with Lachichuk, I think that it (and by extension, the Republic's reorganization into an Empire) would just kinda be excess baggage for the intro, which is intended to be a quick overview of the character. Thoughts? Menkooroo 04:15, May 22, 2011 (UTC)
- Well, I see what you mean with the battle, but I think you can still give a brief mention of the Republic's reformation, such as, "and the Republic's Supreme Chancellor declared all Jedi enemies of the state and had them executed. The Republic was also reformed into the Galactic Empire, and the Imperial troopers soon departed Kashyyyk..." Or something along those lines. Kilson(Let's have a chat) 18:13, May 22, 2011 (UTC)
- Sorry to seem stubborn, but I just don't see how that's essential info for the intro, as it has nothing to do with the actual character. It's not needed context for anything else that's in the intro, and I think that adding it would really just be adding an extraneous tangent that would cause the intro to lose its focus on Lachichuk. Does that make sense? Menkooroo 02:33, May 23, 2011 (UTC)
- Sure, I guess. A little added context never hurt, but you probably don't need it. Kilson(Let's have a chat) 02:36, May 23, 2011 (UTC)
- Sorry to seem stubborn, but I just don't see how that's essential info for the intro, as it has nothing to do with the actual character. It's not needed context for anything else that's in the intro, and I think that adding it would really just be adding an extraneous tangent that would cause the intro to lose its focus on Lachichuk. Does that make sense? Menkooroo 02:33, May 23, 2011 (UTC)
- Well, I see what you mean with the battle, but I think you can still give a brief mention of the Republic's reformation, such as, "and the Republic's Supreme Chancellor declared all Jedi enemies of the state and had them executed. The Republic was also reformed into the Galactic Empire, and the Imperial troopers soon departed Kashyyyk..." Or something along those lines. Kilson(Let's have a chat) 18:13, May 22, 2011 (UTC)
- Thanks for the kind words! I had that info in an early draft of the intro, but I ultimately removed it, and here's why: The last time that Lachichuk is mentioned in Dark Lord is actually before the Empire arrives onworld and begins to subjugate the planet --- there's no mention of the character made during the battle and no indication that s/he is a part of it at all; in essence, Lachichuk's story (so far) ends when Starstone and the renegade Jedi are brought to see Tarfful. In the bio, the battle is mentioned in one sentence at the end for completeness' sake, but as we can't really associate it with Lachichuk, I think that it (and by extension, the Republic's reorganization into an Empire) would just kinda be excess baggage for the intro, which is intended to be a quick overview of the character. Thoughts? Menkooroo 04:15, May 22, 2011 (UTC)
Toprawa
If we don't know who said the BTS quote, I think it would look better simply citing it to the book itself, rather than trying to essentially guess at which author to cite it to.- Done.
Kind of similar objection here. You're obviously gleaning these three actor possibilities through some sort of rationale-based conclusion based. I think this sentence would benefit from briefly explaining how we know this/where knowledge of these three actors comes from, perhaps by rewording this somehow to say that we know that these three actors portrayed the three Wookiees in the promotional shot, etc., or whatever the case is: "Lachichuk was portrayed by either Steven Foy, James Rowland, or Julian Khazzouh."Toprawa and Ralltiir 20:16, June 3, 2011 (UTC)- Got it. I was thinking of explaining it in a reference, similar to what Bob did for Guanta, but I actually like it better within the main text. Let me know what you think. Thanks for the review! Menkooroo 12:17, June 6, 2011 (UTC)
- Cool, works for me. Good job. Toprawa and Ralltiir 18:00, June 6, 2011 (UTC)
- Got it. I was thinking of explaining it in a reference, similar to what Bob did for Guanta, but I actually like it better within the main text. Let me know what you think. Thanks for the review! Menkooroo 12:17, June 6, 2011 (UTC)
Comments
Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 10:16, June 10, 2011 (UTC)
- No confirmed sex for the character. Some grammar might be (necessarily) a bit awkward in an attempt to avoid using gender-based pronouns. Menkooroo 08:27, May 10, 2011 (UTC)