Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Kozmo Sundrel IV

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a Featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Kozmo Sundrel IV

  • Nominated by: - Thannus (DFaceG) (he/him) (talk) 04:46, 24 March 2024 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: Kozmo didn't get the memo that you're supposed to be nice to friends.
  • Date Archived: 01:47, 8 September 2024 (UTC)
  • Final word count: 1455 words (168 introduction, 1245 body, 42 behind the scenes)
  • Word count at nomination time: 1457 words (165 introduction, 1252 body, 40 behind the scenes)
  • WookieeProject (optional): Wookieepedia:WookieeProject The High Republic

(5 Inqs/1 Users/6 Total)

(Votes required: No additional votes required to pass, please consider reviewing another article.)

Support

  1. Inqvote —spookywillowwtalk 19:12, 17 May 2024 (UTC)
  2. Inqvote Lewisr (talk) 05:22, 20 May 2024 (UTC)
  3. Inqvote JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 19:13, 6 August 2024 (UTC)
  4. Inqvote Ayrehead02 (talk) 10:57, 7 September 2024 (UTC)
  5. Booply (talk) 21:03, 7 September 2024 (UTC)
  6. Inqvote Master FredceriqueCommerce Guild(talk) (he/him) 01:47, 8 September 2024 (UTC)

Object

spookly
  • 2nd paragraph's BBY also needs to be tied to the date reference already present.
    • Fixed. Not sure how I missed that. - Thannus (DFaceG) (he/him) (talk) 22:55, 5 April 2024 (UTC)
  • Top subsection is five paragraphs—though it is all one scene, the bottom two can still form their own section quite cleanly, since the preferred section length for modern FANs is 2-3 paragraphs.
    • Split. Will add quote after I get off work. - Thannus (DFaceG) (he/him) (talk) 22:55, 5 April 2024 (UTC)
      • Added quote. - Thannus (DFaceG) (he/him) (talk) 04:37, 13 April 2024 (UTC)
  • From what I recall of the story, it's established that Axel knew he often wore that medallion of his. It'd then make sense if Kozmo often wearing it was presented in the top paragraph of the biography rather than later on for chronology.
    • Moved. - Thannus (DFaceG) (he/him) (talk) 22:55, 5 April 2024 (UTC)
  • "Like the coif, Greylark regarded Sundrel's medallion as ridiculous."—Axel's opinion can be worked into the Biography if necessary, but shouldn't be in the Equipment since that's more just for documenting what he owned.
    • Moved. Kept Axel's opinion on the coif in P&T since the coif isn't brought up elsewhere in the body. - Thannus (DFaceG) (he/him) (talk) 22:55, 5 April 2024 (UTC)
      • My point rather was that the coif opinion should be moved to the P&T or the Biography—as it's currently in Equipment, but isn't equipment.—spookywillowwtalk 04:53, 10 April 2024 (UTC)
        • Added a mention of the coif to the biography and moved Axel's opinion of it to there. Didn't think it'd fit in the P&T since Axel's opinion of the coif isn't part of Kozmo's personality, but Axel's. - Thannus (DFaceG) (he/him) (talk) 04:30, 13 April 2024 (UTC)
  • The body technically doesn't specify that he is male anywhere (explicitly), leaving it infobox-exclusive.
    • Added to P&T. - Thannus (DFaceG) (he/him) (talk) 22:55, 5 April 2024 (UTC)
  • "Sundrel got back up and commented that his father should make a blaster-proof prototype of the medallion."—if this is right, should Sundrel's father have a page to be worked into this and the infobox?
    • Added link and made page. - Thannus (DFaceG) (he/him) (talk) 22:55, 5 April 2024 (UTC)
  • From story: "Kozmo said in his regal, clipped Basic."—while we don't always require listing what languages folk speak, there is precedent for it. In this case, I think it'd be warranted to say he spoke Basic (especially given we don't know what species he is) and also that he talked in a regal tone in the PT.
    • Added. - Thannus (DFaceG) (he/him) (talk) 22:55, 5 April 2024 (UTC)
  • Though the biography glancingly contexualizes Elecia as a leader, it'd be better to tuck that she was a woman/human or something else in there as context since the work supports both, just so it follows the standard [context] [person] layout.—spookywillowwtalk 19:51, 24 March 2024 (UTC)
    • Added context as "human criminal." - Thannus (DFaceG) (he/him) (talk) 22:55, 5 April 2024 (UTC)
  • I'm seeing some decapitalized usage of lord in the story; is there a particular reason it's capitalized in the intro? (similar to how we treat capitalization of prince/princess etc.)
    • Fixed. - Thannus (DFaceG) (he/him) (talk) 21:48, 12 April 2024 (UTC)
  • Technically, every Greylark mention past where Lexxir is linked would need to either be "young Greylark" or Axel's first name.—spookywillowwtalk 04:53, 10 April 2024 (UTC)
    • Went through and adjusted. - Thannus (DFaceG) (he/him) (talk) 21:48, 12 April 2024 (UTC)
  • I'm spying a "shouldn't" and also some more-common missing links like time. I'll make a pass through on my final copy-edit but would like if another general copy-edit run was made through the article before I do so to get most of it.
    • Fixed. - Thannus (DFaceG) (he/him) (talk) 06:35, 4 May 2024 (UTC)
  • With the subsection split now, it would be optimal if every section had an image. Axel has another image that could be used, or the current Axel image could be used in the second section to allow for one of Kyong (because Sundrel's family supported her) or Coruscant to be placed. Entirely preference for this last point so long as each section gets one at least, but it is somewhat worth noting that the other Axel image from Character Encyclopedia depicts him not carrying a lightsaber, which may be more time-accurate at this junction.
    • Added image of Kyong and moved Axel's. - Thannus (DFaceG) (he/him) (talk) 06:46, 4 May 2024 (UTC)
      • Replying for bot timer's sake to reset about the HRCE image replacement still outstanding.—spookywillowwtalk 19:21, 16 May 2024 (UTC)
        • Image replaced. - Thannus (DFaceG) (he/him) (talk) 19:08, 17 May 2024 (UTC)
  • Intro: "…Reena University around 396 BBY."—the body has 'by around 396 BBY' and the intro has only 'around 396 BBY.' Unless he was only a student in that year, should be made consistent with the 'by.'
    • Fixed. - Thannus (DFaceG) (he/him) (talk) 06:35, 4 May 2024 (UTC)
  • Intro: "regularly accompanied…"—I'm not sure the 'regularly' bit is reflected clearly in the History, or at least not outright. It should be slipped in there somewhere though just for good measure, as at the moment it only implies that his family overall spent time with the Greylarks as a whole, and then they spent the festival day together.
    • Added (revised the sentence(s) I added it to as well). - Thannus (DFaceG) (he/him) (talk) 06:35, 4 May 2024 (UTC)
  • History: "Their relationship improved somewhat, they departed for the night." sentence fragment, grammatically.
    • It's meant to be "Their relationship [having] improved somewhat, they departed for the night," but I understand why it sounds/reads confusing. I've added the "having" into the sentence explicitly to make it more clear. - Thannus (DFaceG) (he/him) (talk) 06:35, 4 May 2024 (UTC)
  • Similar to Hamato there's a bit of over-recounting of specific dialogue lines that can be further prosified (while not cutting content, just rearrangement). Happy to help with that if need be, but would appreciate a pass being made for it.—spookywillowwtalk 02:00, 19 April 2024 (UTC)
    • I've revised a few places I felt could be made more brief or didn't require some of the additional dialogue-based context. Though I'm sure I've missed a few areas. - Thannus (DFaceG) (he/him) (talk) 06:42, 4 May 2024 (UTC)
      • Made a few smaller adjustments, that did get most of it though.—spookywillowwtalk 21:37, 14 May 2024 (UTC)
Lew
  • The story mentions he has deep brown eys "We can go," Kozmo said, and there was something like pity in his deep brown eyes. "We came, we saw—" Lewisr (talk) 20:01, 17 May 2024 (UTC)
    • Added. - Thannus (DFaceG) (he/him) (talk) 15:18, 18 May 2024 (UTC)
  • As per the above, I'm wondering if that about Kozmo having pity for Axel after suggesting they could leave after seeing Lexxir should be noted maybe in the PT Lewisr (talk) 20:01, 17 May 2024 (UTC)
    • Added. - Thannus (DFaceG) (he/him) (talk) 15:18, 18 May 2024 (UTC)

Comments

Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 01:47, 8 September 2024 (UTC)