Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Kosa-Yin Hadu

The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Kosa-Yin Hadu

• Nominated by: Jinzler 21:19, September 17, 2011 (UTC)
• Nomination comments: Unfortunately, this is canon

(5 Inqs/1 Users/6 Total)

Support

1. IFYLOFD ^{(Floyd's crib)} 01:19, September 22, 2011 (UTC)
2. Cal Jedi ^{(Personal Comm Channel)} 19:58, September 23, 2011 (UTC)
3. Trust me, there's plenty of canon far more unfortunate than this. Menkooroo 13:56, October 17, 2011 (UTC)
4. Grand Moff Tranner ^(Comlink) 02:53, October 23, 2011 (UTC)
5. --Eyrezer 08:44, October 30, 2011 (UTC)
6. CC7567 ^(talk) 05:23, November 1, 2011 (UTC)

Object

• I'm noticing some rather long and rambling sentences that should be broken up. Here's one from the intro: "Originally a member of the Jedi Order, Hadu trained as the Padawan of the Jedi Knight Kin-Ya Dosun and in about 33 BBY, the pair disappeared after being dispatched on a mission from the Jedi Temple on the planet Coruscant."
  • I've cut down some of the longer sentances in the article, please let me know if further alterations are required. --Jinzler 09:55, September 21, 2011 (UTC)
• Another one: "Kosa-Yin Hadu was a Force-sensitive male Gungan who joined the Jedi Order during the waning years of the Galactic Republic, becoming a Jedi Padawan and training under the Jedi Knight Kin-Ya Dosun, a fellow Gungan."
  • Fixed --Jinzler 09:55, September 21, 2011 (UTC)
• "Agitated by the attacks on their crops, some of Almas' kaluthin farmers blamed the Jedi Order for the death of their plants and in an attempt to further escalate tensions between the farmers and the Jedi, Hadu visited the cantina Building 49-A and bad-mouthed the Jedi while in the presence of a number of farmers." Same deal.
  • Fixed --Jinzler 09:55, September 21, 2011 (UTC)
• You have a real habit of using "ing" verbs, which isn't really past tense.
  • Yes, I do seem to have gone a bit over-the-top with my usage of them. I have now got rid of the majority them. --Jinzler 09:55, September 21, 2011 (UTC)
• " In addition, he was able the the powers Force hatred and Force rage when fighting against his opponents." Word missing, I take it.
  • Fixed --Jinzler 09:55, September 21, 2011 (UTC)
    • That wasn't exactly what I had in mind. This objection was a little {{Sofixit}}-y already, so I just fixed it myself.
      • Sorry... I'm not quite sure how, but I seem to be losing my ability to read. --Jinzler 08:52, September 22, 2011 (UTC)
• Nice job. We need more Gungan Jedi. IFYLOFD ^{(Floyd's crib)} 01:08, September 20, 2011 (UTC)
  • More of them... That's quite a chilling prospect. --Jinzler 09:55, September 21, 2011 (UTC)
• Just one: "He wore an All-Temperature Cloak and was equipped with both a lightsaber and a heavy blaster pistol" doesn't sound like it's describing his personality or traits. I think that this should be put in an "Equipment" section. Otherwise looks good. Cal Jedi ^{(Personal Comm Channel)} 23:56, September 22, 2011 (UTC)
  • Ordinarily, I would place information relating to equipment in an "Equipment" section, but as there is only one equipment-related sentence, it seems unnecessary to add an additional section to the article when the information can be reasonably covered in the P&T section. I have taken a similar approach to the treatment of equipment-related information in a number of other articles that I have brought to Featured and Good status, relegating such information to the P&T if there are only a few lines on the subject of equipment. While the strict application of the layout guide would seem to compel equipment-related info to be covered in a separate section, the Inq and the AC have allowed some flexibility in the past where there is only a small amount of equipment info. I would therefore prefer to keep the information where it currently is, in the P&T. However, to be honest, I don't really feel that strongly about this issue, so I am prepared create an "Equipment" section if you truly feel it to be beneficial to the article. I don't know what the current stance of the Inq is on this issue, so I would appreciate some feedback from any Inquisitors that are reading this. --Jinzler 09:43, September 23, 2011 (UTC)
    • I think you're right on the money, Jinzler. Menkooroo 13:18, September 23, 2011 (UTC)
      • It seems to me that the article should keep conformity with the LG, but if the Inqs don't see anything wrong with it, I'm not going to yammer on about it. Cal Jedi ^{(Personal Comm Channel)} 19:58, September 23, 2011 (UTC)

Moffship

• "...he specialized within the Order as one of the Jedi Guardians..." - I get what you're saying here, but I feel this could be reworded to make it clearer that he trained as a Guardian.
  • Reworded --Jinzler 08:24, October 17, 2011 (UTC)
• The explanations you use in references 4 and 7 are rather confusing. The current wording indicates that the NEC dates the Invasion of Naboo to 31 BBY, and that you then used that date to determine when events occurred (even though it's clear that the math doesn't work out that way).
  • Fixed --Jinzler 08:24, October 17, 2011 (UTC)
    • I believe you switched the dates around in reference 7, so I went ahead and fixed them. Grand Moff Tranner ^(Comlink) 02:53, October 23, 2011 (UTC)
• In the article, it's not really clear how stopping the shipment of supplies to the research station would eliminate the threat posed by the scientists. A brief explanation should do the trick.
  • Clarified --Jinzler 08:24, October 17, 2011 (UTC)
• Is there nothing else that could be added to the P&T?
  • I have re-reviewed the source and have added a tiny bit more to the P&T. However, to be honest there isn't really anything else that can be said; the source just doesn't supply much information. --Jinzler 08:24, October 17, 2011 (UTC)
    • Fair enough. Grand Moff Tranner ^(Comlink) 02:53, October 23, 2011 (UTC)
• That's all. Nice work. Grand Moff Tranner ^(Comlink) 00:05, October 14, 2011 (UTC)
  • Thank you for your review. --Jinzler 08:24, October 17, 2011 (UTC)

Gungans?

• The mentions in the intro and bio of the Sith plot to drive the Jedi Order off of Almas is a little confusing, since there's no mention of the Almas Academy nor any direct mention that the Jedi Order is, in fact, on Almas.
  • Clarified --Jinzler 08:24, October 17, 2011 (UTC)
• A quick question: Is the starship involved in the Force Illusion the one that they took to Cularin? It's introduced as "a" starship, which makes it seem like something new, but is then referred to as "their" starship, which leads to a bit of confusion. Can you clarify?
  • The source does not implicitly state that they were the same, but it does imply that they were the same ship. I have tried to do the same, but I see your point, as this is a bit confusing. --Jinzler 08:24, October 17, 2011 (UTC)
• Can you make a note at the end of the bio of how Seenlu Kir's research was unsuccessful, similar to the end of Kin-Ya Dosun's bio?
  • Done --Jinzler 08:24, October 17, 2011 (UTC)
• Random thought: Is there any text from the role-playing instructions, maybe about how he can either be killed or escape, that could lead off the BTS?
  • I've had a look and unfortunately, I can't see anything that would be appropriate. All of the relevant sections are quite ridden with role-playing terminology and I don't want to cause any confusion. --Jinzler 08:24, October 17, 2011 (UTC)
• All I got! Wonderful stuff. Menkooroo 17:00, October 16, 2011 (UTC)
  • Thank you! --Jinzler 08:24, October 17, 2011 (UTC)

Comments

Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 05:23, November 1, 2011 (UTC)