Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Kilmaulsi

< Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations
The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Kilmaulsi

  • Nominated by: Ayrehead02 (talk) 17:28, July 8, 2013 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments:A Dark times inspired nomination.

(3 Inqs/5 Users/8 Total)

Support

  1. Nice. ~SavageBOB sig 18:11, July 29, 2013 (UTC)
  2. Well written. Darth Pythonis CIS roundel (Talk) 20:50, August 5, 2013 (UTC)
  3. ACvote IFYLOFD (Enter the Floydome) 00:51, August 7, 2013 (UTC)
  4. --Eyrezer (talk) 08:23, August 20, 2013 (UTC)
  5. I love alien species & RPG. Good job. --Skippy Farlstendoiro (talk) 20:22, August 31, 2013 (UTC)
  6. Thefourdotelipsis (talk) 04:52, October 2, 2013 (UTC)
  7. Inqvote CC7567 (talk) 15:01, October 15, 2013 (UTC)
  8. Inqvote Cade GalacticRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit Calrayn 15:21, October 18, 2013 (UTC)

Object

Savaged…
  • The Species template was recently updated, so you should reload the inbox.
  • Does the original source call them humanoid? They're actually digitigrade -- that is, their feet are designed so that they walk on their tiptoes like a chicken, so what appears to be a backwards "knee" is actually the heel of the foot. If the OS calls them humanoid, fine, but I'd make it clear that they're digitigrade at least and correct the part about their knees, since the knee is actually that first big bulge you see on the leg. If the OS doesn't use the term humanoid, you can keep it in there, but maybe say "mostly humanoid" or something, due to the foot difference.
    • Yup, the description directly calls them Humanoids oddly enough. Removed the bit about the knee though and added that they're digitigrade. Ayrehead02 (talk) 20:18, July 10, 2013 (UTC)
  • "similar in all respects to battle armor" -- can we just call it battle armor?
    • The book says similar in all technical respects to battle armor which I've now added but this phrasing would suggest it isn't actually battle armor. Ayrehead02 (talk) 20:18, July 10, 2013 (UTC)
  • Is the plural Kilmaulsi or Kilmaulsis? Both are used at the moment.
    • Whoops swear I searched for Kilmaulsis to remove it. Ayrehead02 (talk) 20:18, July 10, 2013 (UTC)
  • I think you can reduce the galactic history details in the second paragraph of "History." It should be enough to say what territories they fell within without going into so much detail about how one territory became the next or why the factions were fighting, etc. Ditto with the next paragraph.
    • Removed a lot of unneeded info from the second paragraph but not sure what in the third needs removing.
  • The third paragraph of "History" is pretty huge. Can you find somewhere to break it into two? Actually, it seems to me that the first two sentences of the third paragraph of "History" would fit better in "In the galaxy." That would solve the problem.
    • Moved the first two sentences as suggested. Ayrehead02 (talk) 20:18, July 10, 2013 (UTC)
  • "Many Kilmaulsi booked passage…" This is confusing. Did they do this only after Revan conquered the area? Or were they doing this since they were discovered by the Vorgyzdiaks? Either way, some sort of time marker would be helpful.
    • I think the move you suggested fixes this issue. Ayrehead02 (talk) 20:18, July 10, 2013 (UTC)
  • "Kilmaulsis were most commonly found throughout the region as military or as manual labor." This sentence might be better placed in "In the galaxy."
  • Is the Stradley/Harrison connection made in that issue of Dark Times? If not, you need to cite a source for them being the same person.
    • Taken the reference from Stradley's page but it doesn't seem very specific. Do you know where I can get a better one? Ayrehead02 (talk) 20:18, July 10, 2013 (UTC)
  • Can you indicate who illustrated the species for Geonosis and the Outer Rim Worlds?
  • Geonosis and the Outer Rim Worlds should include game stats for them. Can you summarize those stats in BTS? If 10 is average for each attribute, you should be able to say, for example, that they were healthier than average or dumber than average or whatever in the BTS. ~SavageBOB sig 17:03, July 10, 2013 (UTC)
    • The stats listed are for a Commoner and are all 10 so I've added that info. Thanks for the review, your species ones are always especially Helpful! Ayrehead02 (talk) 20:18, July 10, 2013 (UTC)
      • Are there no stats like +2 Constitution, -2 Charisma, etc.? ~SavageBOB sig 09:39, July 16, 2013 (UTC)
        • Yeah oddly it spefically says they have no ability modifiers at all. I could add that as a detail if you think it's worth it. Ayrehead02 (talk) 10:42, July 16, 2013 (UTC)
  • Just a couple more things. The infobox says they inhabited forests, but the body of the article makes no mention of this. Also, normally, the "habitat" field is only used for non-sentient species. Does it make sense to use it here? As in, they had no villages, towns, or cities?
    • I've removed the info from the infobox as your right it doesn't make much sense. Ayrehead02 (talk) 10:42, July 16, 2013 (UTC)
  • Are the newspaper strips dated to 1 ABY? I thought they were 0 ABY, but I could be wrong. ~SavageBOB sig 09:39, July 16, 2013 (UTC)
    • To be honest I was just going off what was written on our article for them but I realise that probably isn't that reliable. Do you know anywhere that would say? I don't think there in the chronologies or Readers guide. Ayrehead02 (talk) 10:42, July 16, 2013 (UTC)
      • Hmm. Behind the Magic might say something about it, but I think I may be the only person with that source, and I'm away from home for the summer. Maybe check some Featured and Good articles based on the comic strips and see what other contributors have cited for the date of those strips? You can also judge based on whether the Rebels are still based on Yavin 4, as I think the Chronology books should provide firm dates for when they abandoned the base. ~SavageBOB sig 08:52, July 17, 2013 (UTC)
        • Well Squalris which is featured doesn't give a date but just says during the civil war, and Cronal which was previously featured says approx. one year after Yavin but just sources it to the comic. I could remove the date entirely like in Squalris? Ayrehead02 (talk) 12:35, July 17, 2013 (UTC)
          • Yeah, you can hedge it like I did for the time being. :) Still, if you do get the chance, maybe check one of the Chronology books. ~SavageBOB sig 09:18, July 18, 2013 (UTC)
            • Ok removed the date for now but I'll check the chronology next time I can. Ayrehead02 (talk) 10:13, July 29, 2013 (UTC)
El Jefe
  • "being introduced to space travel by the Vorzydiaks. Once introduced" Double "introduced"
  • Seeing some vacillation between "Vorzyd Cluster" and "Vorzyd cluster". IFYLOFD (Enter the Floydome) 00:51, August 5, 2013 (UTC)
Darth
  • What happen to the intro paragraph?....
    • Whoops did something weird in my last edit apparently... fixed. Ayrehead02 (talk) 20:47, August 5, 2013 (UTC)
  • For the last sentence of the History section, it shouldn't say the species' world was considered to be part of the Darth Krayt's Galactic Empire since it's not confirmed. Instead it's within the territory controlled by the empire. Darth Pythonis CIS roundel (Talk) 19:26, August 5, 2013 (UTC)
Been Farl away
  • AFAIK "Gambler's World" was also reedited in Hyperspace, which should be added to BtS
    • reedited? As in text was changed? I want to be a bit more specific when I add it. Ayrehead02 (talk) 20:12, August 30, 2013 (UTC)
      • Sorry, I meant re-published in the form of, I think, periodic strips. I only found it in Hyperspace when all the strips were there. --Skippy Farlstendoiro (talk) 15:22, August 31, 2013 (UTC)
        • Ah ok I see, I've added it in but without a date as I can't find one, do you have any idea when they were re-published? Otherwise is it ok to leave the date out? Ayrehead02 (talk) 20:14, August 31, 2013 (UTC)
  • Please can you double-check the numbers of the sources? Are you sure it was not "The Early Adventures" #1 and "Dark Times: Blue Harvest" #0?
    • I have no idea how I muddled up the number on the Early Adventures book :S Dark Harvest #0 on the other hand is made up of two mini-issues combined, the second of which the Kilmaulsi appears in. I included it as the mini-issue not the combination since the mini-issue was published first. Ayrehead02 (talk) 20:12, August 30, 2013 (UTC)
      • Nope: BTS section still says "The Early Adventures 4". Correct that and I'll strike this one.
  • The eye colors of the Kilmaulsi guard is also interesting, including the red sclera or nictitating membrane. Seeing the image in GATORW, I think it's a nictitating membrane - usual for a bird. Should be added.
    • As interesting as that is (And I'm studying Zoology so it really is), isn't it speculation? I'm not sure there's even confirmation that those biological features exist in the Star Wars universe at least under that name? I don't really know what rules we have on including such things. Ayrehead02 (talk) 20:12, August 30, 2013 (UTC)
      • On this subject: Firrerreos have nictitating membranes per The Crystal Star and other sources, so there's a precedent for n.m. in the SW universe under that name. About it being speculation, I think it's a visible feature of the species. Would it be speculation to say, based only in images, that Sneevels have fur if no textual source names the fur as such? Well, maybe it isn't fur, but it sure looks like it.
        • If there's a source that mentions the membranes before then I'm happy to add it to the page as your right it is a visible feature which I can comment on. Ayrehead02 (talk) 20:14, August 31, 2013 (UTC)
  • Have you noticed that the Kilmaulsi guard is way bigger than Luke? (See the panel after the guard speaks; he's more than 2 heads taller) Can we extrapolate approximate height and mention it?
    • From what I can tell the guard is standing several steps higher than Luke and actually isn't that much taller than him. It's difficult to say since the Kilmaulsi's head goes out of the panel so I don't really want to estimate a height, although I could add that some Kilmaulsi were significantly above average? Ayrehead02 (talk) 20:12, August 30, 2013 (UTC)
      • Right, it's too difficult to precise.
  • Really, just that about the battle frenzy? I find interesting a number of points, which may at least be mentioned in BTS: A Kilmaulsi can frenzy thrice per day but only once per fight; the frenzy lasts a specific time for each Kilmaulsi unless the Kilmaulsi willingly ends it before the deadline; a frenzied Kilmaulsi cannot concentrate to perform precise tasks; and the frenzy improves the Kilmaulsi's hand-to-hand fighting progress but is useless if the Kilmaulsi is shooting (Well, almost useless; some Kilmaulsi will get more "life points"). I would even discuss that the VP part is ambiguous in game terms.
    • That all seems like game mechanics to me and I wasn't sure we included that even in behind the scenes. I've added in about them not being able to focus though as that does seem less like mechanics. Ayrehead02 (talk) 20:12, August 30, 2013 (UTC)
      • OK, it's enough, even if my, say, style was different.
  • GATORW: The Casino Royale hired hundreds of Kilmaulsi guards, all of them having armored thoraxes - apparently some kind of uniform?
  • Per "A Royale Mess" in GATORW, during the first month after opening the Royale, the Kilmaulsi were very busy expelling personae, er, res non gratae, just before the Royale decided to forbid droids. Relevant to species history.
  • Per "Any Unoccupied Snackquarium": After the fall of the Empire, Quaffug the Hutt went to Vorzyd V in an attempt to get a percentage of the profits that were no-longer being sent to the Empire. To do so, Quaffug hired many Kilmaulsi, disgruntled ex-workers from the casinos, in an attempt to get a position of strength. And stuff happened. Absolutely relevant to history.
    • Added the info in under the adventure seed template. Ayrehead02 (talk) 20:12, August 30, 2013 (UTC)
  • GATORW pg 147, map of Efavan pinpoints the Kilmauls Embassy, contemporary to the Casino Royale thus at that point Kilmauls had an individual political representation in Vorzyd V.
    • Added that the embassy was constructed although saying they had representation seems like speculation. Ayrehead02 (talk) 20:12, August 30, 2013 (UTC)
  • pg 148: Sanglui, a Squalris Rebel leader, and Hathox Greb, a Hrakian pro-Imperial civil captain, speak Kilmaulsi language.
  • That's it and thank you for the fowl ;) --Skippy Farlstendoiro (talk) 18:09, August 30, 2013 (UTC)
    • Urgh I can't believe I missed all of those adventure seeds!:S Thanks for pointing them out and for the detailed review! Ayrehead02 (talk) 20:12, August 30, 2013 (UTC)
Attack of the Clone
  • Prelim: for ref 14, is there a specific article from Insider 127 that can be cited? Even if not, the {{InsiderCite}} should be used. CC7567 (talk) 15:57, September 17, 2013 (UTC)
    • Added with page number. Ayrehead02 (talk) 16:36, September 17, 2013 (UTC)
  • In both the intro and the "Kilmaulsi in the galaxy" section, Jennir is introduced as a Jedi, but the caption for the Blue Harvest image introduces him as a former Jedi. Which is correct? Please be consistent throughout the article.
    • Made consistent to former throughout. Ayrehead02 (talk) 10:16, September 28, 2013 (UTC)
  • Would it be appropriate to use {{1stp}} in the Sources?
    • I don't think so given that the Kilmaulsi has dialogue and so is more than just pictured, although I've not actually used that template before and so may of misunderstood its use. Ayrehead02 (talk) 10:16, September 28, 2013 (UTC)
      • {{1stp}} is used for any publication that provides the first visual depiction of a subject in canon; it's not exactly the same as {{1stm}}, in that an article can have both {{1stm}} and {{1stp}} without contradicting itself. I think it would be appropriate here, since it appears from the article that Geonosis and the Outer Rim Worlds was the first place to visually depict the species. CC7567 (talk) 17:53, September 28, 2013 (UTC)
        • One is depicted in the Gambler's World comic so that's the first appearance and first depiction so I'd of thought 1stp would be necessary. Ayrehead02 (talk) 08:48, October 2, 2013 (UTC)
  • Linking was a bit sporadic throughout the article, with a mix of over-linking and under-linking. Please look through the linking changes that I made to know what to look for in the future. CC7567 (talk) 02:11, September 22, 2013 (UTC)
    • Thanks for making the changes! I'll take more care in future. Ayrehead02 (talk) 10:16, September 28, 2013 (UTC)
Cadeth
  • I believe you can add something to the lifespan field of the infobox.
  • "When in combat, Kilmaulsi warriors wore ornate green armor, although at least one individual wore purple, similar in all technical respects to battle armor." Is it the purple armor that's battle armor? Or is it all armor? If it's the latter, then I suggest something like the following: "While in combat, Kilmausi warriors typically wore ornate green armor that was similar in all technical respects to battle armor, though at least one individual sported a purple version."
    • Used your wording to make it clearer. Ayrehead02 (talk) 09:41, October 18, 2013 (UTC)
  • Other than those, good work. Cade GalacticRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit Calrayn 23:27, October 10, 2013 (UTC)

Comments

Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 15:21, October 18, 2013 (UTC)