- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.
Icehead
- Nominated by: ~ SavageBob 06:32, December 2, 2009 (UTC)
- Nomination comments: This is a GA, but it's long enough to meet FA requirements. Whether it's of sufficient quality for FA, I leave for you to judge. :) ~ SavageBob 06:32, December 2, 2009 (UTC)
(5 Inqs/2 Users/7 Total)
Support
I'm happy with all the changes since I reviewed it for GAN. --Eyrezer 00:49, December 27, 2009 (UTC)- Grand Moff Tranner
(Comlink) 15:44, January 9, 2010 (UTC) - Snowy-O, snow-O! Kreivi Wolter 17:20, January 14, 2010 (UTC)
- Ahh! Meant to add my support a while ago. I am certainly not a nicehead. Menkooroo 04:20, January 15, 2010 (UTC)
—Tommy9281 (Mechno-chair) 03:05, January 20, 2010 (UTC)- Cavalier One(Squadron channel) 11:20, January 27, 2010 (UTC)
- Grunny (Talk) 11:53, January 27, 2010 (UTC)
Object
The intro's a little confusing without context on what the season scepter is. Maybe call it a "powerful artifact" like you do in the body.The first paragraph in behind the scenes seems to switch between present and past tense.Menkooroo 05:02, December 3, 2009 (UTC)- Hmm. Thanks for the comments; I've tried to address them. The present/past is still a bit mixed, but this is necessitated by the fact that descriptions of fictional narratives are supposed to be in the "literary present" tense. I hope it's clearer now! ~ SavageBob 05:15, December 3, 2009 (UTC)
Bts looks good. The only change I recommend is in the first sentence, changing "first appear" to "first appeared", based on the precedent that's been set by other FA's.- The problem is that "first appeared" implies that they appeared later, and they didn't. The episode is their only appearance, and since it still exists (you can watch it on Google Videos), it calls for present tense. ~ SavageBob 06:04, December 4, 2009 (UTC)
- Hmm. Thanks for the comments; I've tried to address them. The present/past is still a bit mixed, but this is necessitated by the fact that descriptions of fictional narratives are supposed to be in the "literary present" tense. I hope it's clearer now! ~ SavageBob 05:15, December 3, 2009 (UTC)
In "Biology and appearance", the second paragraph reads a little awkwardly --- sentences starting with "The head", "the mouth", "the jaw" don't come off as very encyclopedic. I'd recommend rephrasing what you're trying to say there in different prose.Menkooroo 04:38, December 4, 2009 (UTC)- I'm not sure why they're unencyclopedic; check out the Britannica article on kangaroos, for instance: "The head is relatively small; the ears are (in most macropodids) large and rounded; and the mouth is small, with prominent lips." There are several other examples of encyclopedias using this kind of phrasing. ~ SavageBob 06:04, December 4, 2009 (UTC)
- I take back the word "unencyclopedic" --- it still reads a little awkwardly compared to some of the other (excellent) articles you've written, though, such as Nosaurian, but, eh, that's a preference of mine, and different people have different writing styles. Cheers. Menkooroo 10:32, December 6, 2009 (UTC)
- I'm not sure why they're unencyclopedic; check out the Britannica article on kangaroos, for instance: "The head is relatively small; the ears are (in most macropodids) large and rounded; and the mouth is small, with prominent lips." There are several other examples of encyclopedias using this kind of phrasing. ~ SavageBob 06:04, December 4, 2009 (UTC)
Comments
Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 11:53, January 27, 2010 (UTC)