Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Gallo/Legends

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Gallo

  • Nominated by: MasterFredCommerce Guild(Whatever) 04:03, October 30, 2012 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: For Narnia, and for Aslan! Oh, and the barn-burner.

(3 Inqs/4 Users/7 Total)

Support

  1. I was always planning on doing this article myself one day. FA-thief ;) Commander Code-8 To say hi, press 42 03:30, November 4, 2012 (UTC)
    • I have a feeling we'll be stealing a lot of each other's articles since we both focus on GB stuff. :P MasterFredCommerce Guild(Whatever) 03:37, November 4, 2012 (UTC)
  2. Mesa likey dees. ~SavageBOB sig 13:14, January 28, 2013 (UTC)
  3. Inqvote Menkooroo (talk) 08:57, January 29, 2013 (UTC)
  4. Provided Floyd's objections are dealt with.—Jedi Kasra ("Indeed.") 06:10, February 13, 2013 (UTC)
  5. Inqvote IFYLOFD (Floyd's crib) 00:52, February 20, 2013 (UTC)
  6. Inqvote Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 05:20, February 20, 2013 (UTC)
  7. Cade Calrayn GalacticRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit 05:27, February 20, 2013 (UTC)

Object

CC-8
  • A few things I'm noticing since I love this game. I'm not seeing any info from the games databank, which has a few things that aren't anywhere else in the game, so please add those. I know you've used some of it in the P&T but it needs to be in the history section as well.
    • I added all the info from the databank already. What specifics are you referring to?
      • I'm thinking of the info about how Gallo was quite a rich boss, its already in the P&T but needs a quick mention in the eary life section since it gives the context of why he was feared by Rogoe. Commander Code-8 To say hi, press 42 08:04, October 31, 2012 (UTC)
        • Ah yes. That makes sense. Added.
  • I can think of a few quotes that could go in the sections that don't have any. Try to add some more.
    • Quotes have been added.
      • Sorry to be fussy but I can still think of some more for the "Uniting the Tribes" and "Defeating Rogoe" section. For uniting the Tribes I suggest "Boss Gallo sleepen well that night because hesa bringen all the Gungan tribes together" and for Defeating Rogoe I'd use "Noah one in all the history of the Gungans had conqueren Spearhead. But Gallo's army was strong, and hisen desire to defeat Rogoe was even stronger". Both are said by Boss Nass. Again sorry for fussiness.
        • Again, no need to apologize. :P Added them.
  • In GB Gallo spends the entire time on a kaadu and has a staff, so I think and equipment section is nessecary.
    • There was just as much to say about Weebacca, but I was asked to remove it and put it in the PT section. I think there needs to be at least a couple sentences worth.
      • Looking back there isn't actually enough for an equipment section, but maybe create an article for his Kaadu. Commander Code-8 To say hi, press 42 08:04, October 31, 2012 (UTC)
        • Linked. I'll create it when I get the chance.
  • The title of War of the Gungan tribes is conjectural, so don't directly refer to it as that name when linking to it.
  • Mention Boss Nass in the legacy section and that he recorded the story of Gallo's life.
    • Not sure what you mean, as the first sentence of the section already does this.
  • Some more objects may come later. Commander Code-8 To say hi, press 42 05:29, October 30, 2012 (UTC)
  • Thanks! MasterFredCommerce Guild(Whatever) 12:46, October 30, 2012 (UTC)
  • A new one. I'd mention that Rogoe was fearful of him and give the reason why in the early life section since its more suited to that section than the other ones. Also make sure you mention that Rogoe was controlling the war. Commander Code-8 To say hi, press 42 08:04, October 31, 2012 (UTC)
    • Good catch. Done.
  • Last lot of objections. With the above object Rogoe's control of the war needs saying in the intro as well.
    • Added
  • Otoh Sancture and Otoh Gunga should be mentioned in the affiliations in the infobox. I am pretty sure that locations can be put in there.
    • Added.
  • In the Destruction of Otoh Sancture section Rogoe is linked to and introduced when that's already done in the early life section. Please fix it.
    • Fixed.
  • There's a few times in that section where present tense is used.
    • Bad habit. Fixed.
  • Some incorrect tensing in the Uniting the tribes section to.
    • Also fixed.
  • The healing of the bursa leader is optional, so you need the 100% template in that spot.
    • Since this is the only part that's actually optional, I just moved the banners.
  • Mention the children's game Marsune and Gallo in the legacy section.
    • Done.
  • I'll support upon completion of these. I feel so cruel :) Commander Code-8 To say hi, press 42 04:09, November 3, 2012 (UTC)
To the gallows with ye
  • Since there's an article for the Gungan Grand Army, it seems like Rogoe's militia, their opposite number in the war, should get the same treatment. Objecting over it because it would create an INTRO REDLINK!
  • There's some repetition at the end of the intro --- one sentence states "Gallo took his forces and prepared to assault Rogoe," while the next says (paraphrased) "Gallo took his forces and assaulted Rogoe." To keep the intro brief and concise, it's not really necessary to state that he prepared to do something before stating that he did it.
    • Reworded.
  • "While hunting for nerfs, Otoh Sancture was attacked by bursas." Since Otoh Sancture is the subject of this sentence, it reads as if Otoh Sancture was hunting for nerfs.
    • Specified.
  • Same problem in the next section: "After heading to Otoh Langua. Boss Hantic claimed they did not have the staff," --- Boss Hantic headed to Otoh Langua?
    • Fixed.
  • And another one: "Once there, Boss Copek told them...'" reads as if Boss Copek is the one who's "once there." And again with "After destroying the bursas, Copek gave Gallo four catapults." Copek is currently the subject of that sentence; it should be reworded to not read as if he's the one who destroyed the bursas.
    • Fixed.
  • "Boss Gallo swore to avenge his people and set out to rebuild his settlement in an area abundant in nova crystals, ore, food, and trees which could be used as a source of carbon. as all three of these were necessary resources." A couple of things about this sentence: I'm counting four, not three things, and also check the punctuation.
    • Fixed.
      • Nice, but check the punctuation --- there's a period where there should be a comma (that's also the basis of the objection below this one, in case "comma-periods" is confusing. Menkooroo (talk) 11:05, January 3, 2013 (UTC)
        • Fixed. Honestly, these are all typos. I understand comma use. You can probably just sofixit any comma mistakes.
  • Actually, I'm seeing incorrect punctuation in a few places. Please comb through the entire article in search of comma-periods.
  • Marsune's role in uniting the tribes seems important --- why no mention of it in the intro? The only mention of Marsune in the intro is that he traded glurrgs to Gallo.
    • Mentioned.
  • The bio should make it clear that Marsune is with Gallo when Gallo first sets out to unite the tribes. Currently he's not mentioned until a few cities in and it's like "What? He's there too?"
    • Clarified.
  • A random present-tense sentence: "Gallo and his few men defeat Rogoe's forces and find the Sacred Staff of Otoh Jahai."
    • Fixed.
  • "After leaving Otoh Langua, they found two paths: one was guarded by Rogoe's militiagung, and the other was a clear path." Should that be "militia" ? Isn't a militiagung just one guy?
    • I believe militiagung is both singular and plural, but I changed for clarity's sake.
  • The end of the first paragraph of "Uniting the tribes" has a lot of short, choppy sentences in a row. Recommend combining some of them for better flow.
    • Rearranged.
  • "Gallo and his milities set out...' milities?
    • Fixed.
  • Is Rogoe's keep underwater? "In water" is pretty vague. I thought it was a floating fortress or something at first.
    • Clarified.
  • I know a lot of it probably depends on the player's choices, but is there anything more you can definitely say about the battle of Spearhead? Partly-on the ground, partly-underwater ... ? Does Rogoe die ("destroyed" is a little vague)? Does Rogoe's army capitulate if their leader dies? etc. The P&T says that he defeats Rogoe despite minimal forces; could the bio get across the fact that he's outnumbered?
    • Clarified that he was killed. Removed the outnumbered part in the PT because you are given a base and can build an army, so the size of the army is not set in stone. Other than that, the game gives no details.
  • The P&T mentions that he rides around on a Kaadu a lot. Does this happen during the game? If so, the bio should note that he's traveling on kaadu.
    • Noted.
  • "long, fingered ears..." Fingered?
    • Yes, Gungans have fingered ears.
  • Nice, but... messy. Give the entire thing a good copy-edit. Menkooroo (talk) 04:49, December 14, 2012 (UTC)
  • Some final ones: Placing images in the middle of paragraphs is usually frowned upon --- recommend putting the one in "Uniting the tribes" at the beginning of the section's first paragraph.
    • Changed.
  • After two images in close succession, the rest of the article is a long block of imageless text --- anything you could put in "Legacy" or the P&T?
    • I used one, but nothing else really fits.
  • Is "repeater trooper" unique enough to warrant an article?
    • Not really. It's just a trooper that throws boomas really fast. :P
  • Two paragraphs in "Defeating Rogoe" are currently unsourced.
    • Dagnabbit. Fixed.
  • Is Category:Heads of government and state correct? All the other bosses you and Code-8 have been writing have used Category:Mayors instead.
    • I suppose not. Changed.
  • Be careful of overlinking; there were some double-links that were added in your most recent objections-addressing. Aaaaaand finished! Menkooroo (talk) 12:41, January 28, 2013 (UTC)
    • I fixed a couple. Hope that was all.
      • That was actually the only time kaadu was linked; I've restored it. Sorry; I meant that as a comment. I think I got them all before I left it. Menkooroo (talk) 08:57, January 29, 2013 (UTC)
Savaged…
  • The intro should be reworded so it doesn't sound like Boss Nass lived in 3,000 BBY, and so that the "He" of the second sentence doesn't seem to be referring to Nass.
    • Clarified.
      • Better, but now it's trying to jam too much information into one sentence. Perhaps separate the Boss Nass part into a separate sentence, or find another place for it in the lead?
        • Better?
  • whilst is really British English, so this should be changed to while.
    • Changed
  • Context on Sacred Feast in the intro.
    • Added just a little.
  • Context on militiagung in the intro -- I assumed it was an army of some sort, but that's apparently not the case. Ditto for the Bio.
    • Added.
  • Context on bongo in the intro and bio.
    • Added a little.
  • The river he passes should probably get an article as a unique body of water.
    • CC8 created it. Linked.
  • "as all four of these were necessary resources." This is currently a sentence fragment. Attach it or ditch it?
    • Was a typo. Fixed per Menk's objection.
  • "After Gallo finished slaughtering the bursas." Ditto.
    • Ditto.
  • Context on Otoh Langua upon first bio mention.
    • Added.
  • The particular spaceport they visit probably deserves an article.
    • Linked
  • Context on Kaadu Cavalry.
    • Added a little.
      • Changed my mind on this one; "cavalry" means "mounted warrior," so I think it was clear before. No further change needed. :) ~SavageBOB sig 13:31, January 22, 2013 (UTC)
  • Who named the force the Gungan Grand Army? Was this Gallo's doing? If so, it's worth explicitly mentioning this.
    • Doesn't say who named it. They just kind of start calling it that. Gallo is the first person in the game to call it that, but that doesn't mean he's the first person to period.
  • When does Spearhead get ruined? We hear that there's a battle, but no mention of the city's destruction is indicated.
    • Mentioned.
  • Any idea when Nass retells his story? Even if we can't place it to a specific date, it's probably worth giving a vague time reference, such as "during the latter years of the Galaactic Republic" or somesuch.
    • Added in.
  • Titles of games don't need quotes unless they're published games, and even then it's optional. I'm referring to the children's game based on him here.
    • Fixed.
  • What is a "fingered" ear?
    • Since it seems to be sparking so much confusion, I've just removed the adjective.
  • Watch out for overuse of the word also -- it's rarely necessary, as every sentence could technically be an "also."
    • Removed some instances.
  • Can you give some context in BTS for Nass's narrative about Gallo? Apparently, the quotes come from some recitation by Nass; what source includes this information, and in what context? ~SavageBOB sig 18:38, January 4, 2013 (UTC)
    • Mentioned.
      • OK, better! But now I have a question about the infobox image. It's obviously a black-and-white image of Nass from TPM, and since it's Nass who's narrating Gallo's story, how do we know that the image is not supposed to be illustrating him rather than Gallo? ~SavageBOB sig 13:31, January 22, 2013 (UTC)
        • I thought the same thing, but it wouldn't make sense since all the other pictures in the briefing are illustrating the story, and Nass is describing Gallo himself as the current picture is shown. MasterFredCommerce Guild(Whatever) 18:50, January 24, 2013 (UTC)<
          • It still seems fishy to me. Why would they use an exact picture of Boss Nass to represent someone from hundreds of years prior? It would be more logical that the image is supposed to represent Nass himself, since he is the narrator of the story. The sequence might be pertinent -- are there any other pictures shown during the story before the one of Nass/Gallo, and if so, what do they depict? ~SavageBOB sig 12:40, January 28, 2013 (UTC)
            • Actually, that picture is from the game database. As regards characters, pictures in the game database always depict the subject of the entry. So yes, a grayscale pic of Boss Nass with bare arms is a cheap way to create Gallo's depiction, but it's just the way it is. --LelalMekha (talk) 12:47, January 28, 2013 (UTC)
  • Thanks for the review. Sorry for the delay. Had horrible Internet over the break. MasterFredCommerce Guild(Whatever) 18:50, January 21, 2013 (UTC)
Floyd
  • Can we get an article for the militiagung who tells him about Rogoe?
    • Linked.
      • Intro redlink right now.
  • I think you should introduce the war differently in the intro. As it is now, it almost seems offhanded. A little more emphasis should be put on it, something like "Gallo was Boss of Otoh Sancture during a war between the Gungan tribes..."
    • I'm not entirely sure I read you here. They both seem pretty much the same to me. Could you explain?
      • Well, the way it is now it reads like the reader should already have prior knowledge of it. IFYLOFD (Floyd's crib) 02:16, February 15, 2013 (UTC)
  • Some of the history subsections seem a little small to stand on their own.
    • Not really sure a better way to divide them.
  • Nice work. IFYLOFD (Floyd's crib) 03:29, February 9, 2013 (UTC)
Cadeth
  • From a chronological standpoint, I think that the info about Gallo's descendant should be moved to the end of the intro.
  • Context on bursas?
  • There's a lot of commas in that sentence about Marsune. Any way you can make it flow better?
  • Kaadu's double-linked in the P&T.
  • Good work otherwise. Cade Calrayn GalacticRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit 05:10, February 20, 2013 (UTC)

Comments

Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 05:39, February 20, 2013 (UTC)