- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.
Foga Brill
- Nominated by: -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 19:05, May 10, 2010 (UTC)
- Nomination comments:It's Brilliant!
(3 Inqs/4 Users/6 Total)
Support
- Excellent. Xicer9
(Combadge) 02:32, May 11, 2010 (UTC) - Imperialles 20:29, May 17, 2010 (UTC)
Excellent. Chack Jadson (Talk) 00:10, May 19, 2010 (UTC)- Excellent. JangFett (Talk) 02:05, May 22, 2010 (UTC)
- Elephant. Thefourdotelipsis 09:36, May 30, 2010 (UTC)
- Green Tentacle (Talk) 21:36, June 2, 2010 (UTC)
Brill-iant. - Cavalier One(Squadron channel) 08:41, June 4, 2010 (UTC)
Object
A few things:
From Judicial to Warlord: "Though Brill's region technically fell under the jurisdiction of Grand Moff Gann of Sector 5, which encompassed the Prakith system" Seems a little oddly worded. You're essentially stating the same thing twice, only using different words (Brill's region; Prakith system).- Good point. Removed the redundant clause.
From Judicial to Warlord: "ignoring repeated overtures from Imperial Center" You suddenly switch from referring to the place as Coruscant to calling it Imperial Center, without introducing the term.- Good spot. It's consistent now.
Decline and mutiny: "Brill did adopt his tactics for a time" Did you mean to write "adapt"?- Yep, fixed.
- Well done. --Imperialles 20:10, May 17, 2010 (UTC)
- Thank you. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 20:24, May 17, 2010 (UTC)
Green tentacle
"With the Empire's colonization came a career opportunity…" Is there an "of Prakith" missing in there or is colonization supposed to be something else? Green Tentacle (Talk) 19:19, June 2, 2010 (UTC)
- Yeah, I added it "of Prakith." Thanks for the review. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 21:21, June 2, 2010 (UTC)
Comments
Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 08:41, June 4, 2010 (UTC)