Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Dorja

< Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations
The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Dorja

  • Nominated by: Menkooroo (talk) 08:47, November 2, 2013 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: Dear old dad.

(4 Inqs/2 Users/6 Total)

Support

  1. Protectorate (talk) 02:07, December 6, 2013 (UTC)
  2. Inqvote Givin' em the ol' Double Dorj. IFYLOFD (Enter the Floydome) 01:28, February 24, 2014 (UTC)
  3. Inqvote JangFett (Talk) 14:38, March 30, 2014 (UTC)
  4. Inqvote CC7567 (talk) 05:22, April 5, 2014 (UTC)
  5. Inqvote Cade GalacticRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit Calrayn 14:10, April 25, 2014 (UTC)
  6. You shall pass. Clone Commander Lee Talk 21:56, May 3, 2014 (UTC)

Object

    • Dorja was known for a cautious command style that saw his ship suffer no casualties but yet drew fire from critics; Can this be reworded? Either without the "but" or the "yet". It just reads a little awkwardly.
      • Yeah, it was repetitive. I've changed "yet" to "that;" take a look.
        • Better
    • You link "Bilbringi" in the Battle of Bilbringi to "Bilbringi system" at the end of "Aspirations crushed". Should it not instead by linked to the Bilbringi Shipyards, as that's where the attack occurred? Or is that too specific?
      • Not too specific at all. Since Bilbringi isn't a planet (which I actually didn't realize for a looooong time), you're right in that the shipyards should be linked instead. However, in this case, I've already linked to the shipyards a few sentences prior: "Not long after the successful operation, when the Chimaera was at the Bilbringi Shipyards, Pellaeon contacted Dorja and requested a 500-man caretaker crew for the following six hours." Since I had already linked to the shipyards once, I chose to link to the system the second time Bilbringi was mentioned. Make sense?
        • Got ya.
    • From the secondary command room, Thrawn instructed Dorja to launch six Preybird-class starfighters to intercept, but the order was recalled when Disra realized that the attackers were Diamalan, enemies of the Ruurians. Thrawn took credit for the discovery and had Dorja execute a Tron Boral maneuver, followed by a full-closure Marg Sabl sweep by the Preybirds—the pair of maneuvers had been used to great effect by the real Thrawn in a previous battle with the Diamala, and as such, the corvettes fled without any shots having been fired. Hold on, what? The order was recalled by Disra or by Flim? And what part of the order was recalled? Deploying the Preybirds? But they still were used to defeat the Diamala right? A little confused by this part.
      • I've reworded it to be what I hope is a little more sensical. Check it out.
        • Nice.
    • I put every mention of Flim as Thrawn in quotes, but if that wasn't necessary, please revert.
      • I wasn't entirely sure. I'm fine with the quotes, but I'll also be fine if someone else removes them. Sound fair?
        • Sounds good.
          • After a second look, I've changed a few of them to just say Flim. There are still a few "Thrawn"s where I think it's appropriate, but in the other cases just Flim seemed better. Menkooroo (talk) 14:24, December 8, 2013 (UTC)
    • In the last sentence of the BtS, you mention that Dorja's hatred for Thrawn and Pellaeon came from The Last Command Sourcebook. I changed it to the Dark Force Rising Sourcebook, as that's what you cite throughout the article. If that's not correct, please change it.
      • A sloppy mistake on my part. Thanks for the save.
    • That's it. Really good job. Enjoyable article. Protectorate (talk) 19:26, December 3, 2013 (UTC)
      • Thanks so much for taking a look! Menkooroo (talk) 01:36, December 6, 2013 (UTC)
El Jefe
  • I think the intro could be cut down a little bit, I don't think he needs three paragraphs.
    • You're right, there was quite a bit of fluff in there. It's two paragraphs now and more succint; take a look.
  • I think you could also do to give Thrawn some more context, to better establish why his return was such a big deal.
    • Gave a couple words each in the intro and the body --- is it enough?
  • "Ferrier succeeded, and Thrawn acquired 178 warships from the legendary Katana fleet of dreadnaughts." How exactly are these two events related? IFYLOFD (Enter the Floydome) 02:06, February 22, 2014 (UTC)
    • Rewrote the sentence. Hopefully it's clearer now. Thanks for the review. Menkooroo (talk) 05:10, February 22, 2014 (UTC)
Jangeth
  • Hey Menk. "during the Empire's Galactic Civil War against the Rebel Alliance." Kinda nitpicky, but I never heard of "the Empire's Galactic Civil War" when describing the war.
    • Did some rewording; check it out.
  • Not long after, you described the Battle of Endor as a space engagement, when really it was a ground assault as well. JangFett (Talk) 20:30, March 28, 2014 (UTC)
    • Too true. Moved the space warfare link in the intro down to Yaga Minor. Thanks for taking a look. Menkooroo (talk) 01:31, March 29, 2014 (UTC)
Attack of the Clone
  • For the P&T quote, I think it would be helpful to more clearly attribute whom Dorja is speaking to—it seems to be the false Thrawn—before putting it in context about his loyalties to Pellaeon and Thrawn.
    • Check it out now.
      • Stemming from that, it would be helpful to clarify in the IU part of the article exactly when Pellaeon became an admiral, since he's introduced as a captain but then referred to as an admiral much later. CC7567 (talk) 02:50, April 5, 2014 (UTC)
  • Since his first appearance was in a written work, {{1stp}} should be used in the Appearances/Sources to indicate the publication in which he was first visually depicted.
    • Done. Although we still need to fix that. Menkooroo (talk) 02:47, April 5, 2014 (UTC)
  • Good work otherwise. CC7567 (talk) 20:57, April 4, 2014 (UTC)
    • Thanks for the pair of reviews! Menkooroo (talk) 02:47, April 5, 2014 (UTC)
Cadeth
  • No mention of his species in the intro.
    • Added both species and sex.
  • Is there an article for Vermel's corvette?
    • Is one needed? It's a pretty generic corvette, no more notable than, say, Ambassador Amisus's shuttle. I'll create one if you think it's needed, but I honestly think that linking to CR90 corvette is more beneficial to the reader.
  • Is Battle of Yaga Minor a canon name? If not, you can't use it like that. Cade GalacticRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit Calrayn 23:45, April 24, 2014 (UTC)
    • Yeah, I checked it out when I was writing the article and found a mention of it in one of the sources --- I believe it was the Fact File entry but not 100% sure. Thanks for the review. Note that I changed 2 BBY back to 1 BBY for Vana's birth year, since 0 BBY and 0 ABY are two different years. Menkooroo (talk) 02:42, April 25, 2014 (UTC)
      • Just noticed the 0 BBY article claims differently --- what's the source for 0 BBY and 0 ABY being a single year? It's an unsourced statement in an article that otherwise has very precise mathematical sourcing; I've always taken 0 BBY and 0 ABY to respectively be the twelve months before and after Yavin. Do we have a source that says otherwise? Menkooroo (talk) 03:00, April 25, 2014 (UTC)
        • 0 BBY being a whole year has never been proven; in fact, most sources, like the NEC, Atlas, and ERC support it being a fragment of a year. Before Yavin, round up—Geonosis is 13:5 GrS, which is like 21.8 before Yavin (35:3) but is well-established to be 22 BBY—and round down after Yavin—the Battle of Brentaal IV (Galactic Civil War) is in 39:12, which is 4.75 years before Yavin (35:3), but is considered to be 4 ABY. So, 30 years before 28 ABY is 2 BBY. Cade GalacticRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit Calrayn 03:20, April 25, 2014 (UTC)
          • Sounds good. Seems to me that 0 BBY and 0 ABY should be merged into one article, though. Menkooroo (talk) 03:27, April 25, 2014 (UTC)
            • Well, no, because 0 BBY does exist—it's referred to in the NEC, ERC, etc.—but it's just the part of the year before Yavin. Cade GalacticRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit Calrayn 03:29, April 25, 2014 (UTC)
    • After getting home and checking through the sources, it turns out your suspicion was correct --- Battle of Yaga Minor seems to be a conjectural name. I must have been thinking of something else. Changed. Menkooroo (talk) 07:01, April 25, 2014 (UTC)

Comments

Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 20:58, May 4, 2014 (UTC)

  • In the succession box: If anyone can provide me with a sourced date for the events of Tatooine Manhunt or Otherspace, I can give a better date for when Westen took command of the Relentless. Captain Parlan is still in command in those two adventures, but I can't for the life of me find a solid date for either of them. Menkooroo (talk) 08:47, November 2, 2013 (UTC)