Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Dass Jennir

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Dass Jennir

(6 Inqs/3 User/9 Total)

Support

  1. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 00:12, 18 March 2008 (UTC)
  2. Inqvote Great stuff. I love reading things I know nothing about. Graestan(Talk) 03:14, 21 March 2008 (UTC)
  3. Nice job, Acky. Toprawa and Ralltiir 02:21, 22 March 2008 (UTC)
  4. Inqvote -- Darth Culator (Talk) 01:13, 24 March 2008 (UTC)
  5. Inqvote Greyman(Talk) 03:50, 24 March 2008 (UTC)
  6. Inqvote Even if Acky did spoil the non-Tales half of this guy's story for me. :-( Atarumaster88 Jedi Order (Talk page) 02:50, 28 March 2008 (UTC)
  7. Having done a small copyedit prior to nomination.--Goodwood Redstarbird (Alliance Intelligence) 05:28, 30 March 2008 (UTC)
  8. Inqvote Jaina Solo(Talk) 18:35, 2 April 2008 (UTC)
  9. Inqvote Imperialles 14:24, 3 April 2008 (UTC)

Oppose

  1. Toprawa:
    • The second paragraph of the intro is a bit PBP. Can you cut it down a little bit?
      • Better?
    • What do you mean here? Procuring his identity? Capturing him? If you mean to say he captured him, I would just reword it to say just that: "broke the Jedi Code in procuring Resa Greenbark's seller"
      • Addressed.
    • You never identify Bomo has a Nosaurian, but refer to him as such here. Please explain he is of the species back in the first paragraph: "though the Nosaurian was furious at him"
      • Since I've now removed that particular part of the sentence, I don't think it's necessary.
    • Not an objection, but always remember to place a period after your image captions.
      • According to Gonk, most image captions shouldn't have full stops, since they're not proper sentences. I don't really care either way, though.
        • Yes, Gonk is correct. FWIW, from Wikipedia's MOS: "If the caption is a complete sentence, it should always end in a period (or other appropriate punctuation). If the caption is not a complete sentence, it should not have a period at the end."
    • Please either create an article or link this someplace to avoid linking to Wikipedia in the body itself: "They principally used guerrilla warfare"
      • Addressed.
    • The way you refer to this as the civilian transport, put it into the context of assuming we already know what this is. You only describe the populace as finding transport off the planet. Please do a little to specify earlier on: "having ensured the departure of the civilian transport"
      • Done.
    • Please reword one of these eventually's: "The two eventually awoke and worked together to climb out of their pit, eventually..."
      • Done.
    • This is kind of confusing. So, he wanted to attack the spaceport, Jennir talked him out of it, but then they still went to the spaceport? Please clarify: "Greenbark wanted to launch a suicide attack against the Imperials in the spaceport there and then. Jennir's counsel prevailed, however, and the two covertly made their way into the planet's main spaceport."
      • Clarified some.
        • Good.
    • I know we talked about this, but I dislike this quote simply because of its apparent third person description. Calling himself by the third person doesn't exactly equate to first person inner thoughts, IMO: "So what if the future is a path that leads nowhere? All he can do is walk that path one step at a time." Toprawa and Ralltiir 00:43, 22 March 2008 (UTC)
  2. From the desk of Atarumaster88
    • 2nd para of intro needs some work. Two rather short sentences followed by a long sentence with two disjointed semicolon clauses could be cleaned up.
      • I've messed around with it some; better?
    • Needs some explanation here: You say Greenbark was unarmed then you have him grabbing for weapons.
      • Clarified.
    • Be more specific on using "some more overt methods"
      • I can't be. "Overt methods" is straight from the comic; we don't see what happens.
    • Something is up with the quote template on the P&T.
      • That was probably your fault. :P Fixed.
    • I'd like the P&T to mention a little bit more the attachment and significance the Jedi Order had to him.
      • I've added something to that extent.
    • In P&A, I seem to recall that V-wings are more agile than ARC-170s.
      • Addressed.
    • Have a Super Terrific Friendly Un-frustrating day. Atarumaster88 Jedi Order (Talk page) 17:57, 27 March 2008 (UTC)
  3. Image objections:
    --Imperialles 22:54, 28 March 2008 (UTC)
    Redemption has reuploaded substandard images. :) -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 21:43, 2 April 2008 (UTC)

Comments

Approved by Inquisitorius 18:01, 3 April 2008 (UTC)

  • Obviously, I'll update the article when Jennir appears in future Dark Times issues. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 00:12, 18 March 2008 (UTC)