- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.
Darth Vectivus
- Nominated by:—Tommy 9281 00:43, May 10, 2010 (UTC)
- Nomination comments: Yet another notable occasion on the calendar of dread.
(3 Inqs/5 Users/8 Total)
Support
- Clone Commander Lee Talk 17:53, May 10, 2010 (UTC)
- Great job, Tommy.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 12:38, May 11, 2010 (UTC)
- This is the Uncle Buck of Sith Lords. NaruHina Talk
01:52, May 13, 2010 (UTC) - Lazy Felix the Sith Lord! Thefourdotelipsis 04:43, June 1, 2010 (UTC)
- Anything ending in -us is pseudo-Latin and thus arcane. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 06:28, June 4, 2010 (UTC)
Hate the character but the article is superb. Chack Jadson (Talk) 17:52, June 4, 2010 (UTC)- Green Tentacle (Talk) 21:08, June 10, 2010 (UTC)
CC7567 (talk) 22:01, June 10, 2010 (UTC)
Object
NaruHina
"Vectivus's Force phantom technique was coveted by the Korriban Sith despite their contempt for him." I'm not sure why this is in the P&T, it seems out of place, especially since it's in the P&A with much more detail.- Addressed.
"CSWE also states that Lumiya met Vectivus' spirit at The Home millennia after his death…he died centuries prior…" I don't think this is technically a contradiction. "Centuries" and "Millennia" can potentially mean the same thing.- I hear you, but it is still a note of confusion. I'd rather point out the contradiction instead of leaving the reader to interpret the terms as sort-of interchangeable. Let me know if you really feel it necessary for me to remove it, and I'll do so.
- I'll continue this either in a few hours or tomorrow. RLI. NaruHina Talk 00:41, May 12, 2010 (UTC)
"…lingered in the labyrinthine mines underneath the Home, where in life he had once resided." Work in that the Jonex Mine was in the Home.- Addressed.
"…began to behave similarly to the extinct species that preceded them." What extinct species?- Addressed.
- That's it. NaruHina Talk 00:19, May 13, 2010 (UTC)
Chack Jadson
Quote, not dialogue, for P&T. Chack Jadson (Talk) 00:27, May 13, 2010 (UTC)
Xd1358
Could you cut down on the intro a bit? It is very long compared to the body. -- 1358 (Talk) 17:15, May 13, 2010 (UTC)
- Really? I don't think it is. Everything that's said there needs to be said. I would ask that you please reconsider your position.—Tommy 9281 18:23, May 13, 2010 (UTC)
Imperialles
Per WP:LG, please provide the subject's name in bold in the intro. --Imperialles 08:46, May 14, 2010 (UTC)
- It already was, but for my own future reference, where does it say that in the LG? I looked for that and couldn't find it.—Tommy 9281 12:11, May 14, 2010 (UTC)
- My bad. Chalk it up to a needlessly high desktop resolution. The bolding thing is mentioned here. --Imperialles 22:44, May 15, 2010 (UTC)
Grunny:
Apostrophe consistency. Make a decision whether to use Vectivus' or Vectivus's. Both are correct but it's better to be consistent.- Addressed.
Likewise you're inconsistent in capitalization of "the Home" versus "The Home." Whichever is used in the sources should be applied throughout.- Addressed.
- I'll read through it fully soon. Grunny (talk) 00:07, May 17, 2010 (UTC)
Cec Linder!
For the purposes of an introduction, there's perhaps a bit too much detail about the apparition to Nelani in the intro."During his early years, this Human male lived a normal life into adulthood" - Which? Tense needs checking there. And I think it's in the intro as well.There's a bit too much detail on Rar's movements that aren't directly relevant to Vectivus, nor do we require that context.This also goes for the movements of the Sith. The article starts to become about Vectivus's asteroid, rather than the character himself.- Otherwise excellent. Thefourdotelipsis 11:14, May 29, 2010 (UTC)
Farlstendoiro
"the current Dark Lady of the Sith". I dislike the use of the word current, when we are using past tense under the premise of "A long time ago".- Addressed.
"a decadent mansion". NPOV?- Addressed.
Section 'Sith Master', last paragraph, is not chronologically ordered: He died there, but before his death he had built a holocron. You should mention that he built the holocron, and then he died.- Addressed.
The quote for "Conversations with Nelani Dinn" is attributed to Vectivus and Dinn, but I think the first line is uttered by Dinn. Could you reword the atrtrbution?- Addressed.
- Good article on Darth Autobus! Skippy Farlstendoiro 13:42, June 1, 2010 (UTC)
Green Tentacle
I may just be getting confused here (having no familiarity with the source material) but the intro says that Lumiya raised the phantom of him that talked to Nelani and I can't see her involvement mentioned in that section of the biography. Is this part her doing, something to do with his still lingering spirit or a combination of both? If she's responsible, can you make that clear in the biography.- Addressed.
Early life: "He devoted his time to experiments with the cavern's intense darkness, where he examined and developed new Force abilities in the process." Doesn't quite read right. Would "…intense darkness, examining and developing new Force…" work better?- Addressed.
Conversations with Nelani Dinn: "Weary of the phantom's incessant prattle…" POV. "Weary of the conversation…?"- Addressed.
Later influences is overly long considering he's not involved in any of it. You can easily cut it down by 100 words or so without losing any information relevant to the article.- Addressed.
Later influences: "…it also served as the focal point from where both Lumiya and Alema Rar drew upon the dark side energy that pooled in the caverns beneath the habitat used to fuel Vectivus' Force phantom technique." Assuming it survives the previous objection, this seems to imply that the habitat was used to fuel the technique rather than the dark side energy. Can you reword if that's not accurate. Green Tentacle (Talk) 19:56, June 10, 2010 (UTC)
Comments
Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 22:01, June 10, 2010 (UTC)