- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.
Danni Quee
(5 Inq/4 Users/9 Total)
Support
I've sQUEEzed the NJO books for information and pictures. I think it's quality work now. Atarumaster88 (Talk page) 04:15, 2 August 2007 (UTC)
- Graestan
(This party's over) 04:21, 2 August 2007 (UTC)
- Master Aban Fiolli (Alpheridies University ComNet)
13:36, 3 August 2007 (UTC)
Green Tentacle (Talk) 16:12, 3 August 2007 (UTC)
Greyman(Paratus) 21:22, 3 August 2007 (UTC)
Thefourdotelipsis 00:41, 8 August 2007 (UTC)- School of Thrawn 101 04:46, 8 August 2007 (UTC)
- This does not mean your bad jokes are okay. -- Ozzel 04:49, 8 August 2007 (UTC)
--Eyrezer 00:03, 9 August 2007 (UTC)
Oppose
Some minor grammatical inconsistencies; could use some minor prose revision.--Goodwood 19:38, 2 August 2007 (UTC)"it would not ever be the same for many years." This should be either "it would not be the same for many years" or "it would never be the same."- Fixed. I have no idea how that slipped by me. Atarumaster88
(Talk page) 13:51, 6 August 2007 (UTC)
- Fixed. I have no idea how that slipped by me. Atarumaster88
"Her Force-sensitivity did allow her to experience the disturbances and influences that Nyax generated, much to her chagrin." Chagrin doesn't seem right. Would it not be "much to her discomfort"?- Chagrin and discomfort are synonymous. Besides, "much to (insert pronoun here) chagrin" is a relatively common phrase. --School of Thrawn 101 06:13, 6 August 2007 (UTC)
- They have different connotations. "Much to her chagrin" may be a common phrase but it suggests embarrassment which doesn't seem appropriate to me. --Eyrezer 06:18, 6 August 2007 (UTC)
- In that case, I would suggest an entirely new word, altogether. After all, discomfort is also synonymous with embarass. --School of Thrawn 101 06:22, 6 August 2007 (UTC)
- Why don't we allow Ataru to respond? --Eyrezer 06:24, 6 August 2007 (UTC)
- Sentence now reads "Her Force-sensitivity did allow her to experience the disturbances and influences that Nyax generated, distressing her as she felt the commands, negative emotions, and pain he released." Atarumaster88
(Talk page) 13:51, 6 August 2007 (UTC)
- I like this better; more formal structure to the sentence. Master Aban Fiolli (Alpheridies University ComNet)
14:42, 6 August 2007 (UTC)
- I like this better; more formal structure to the sentence. Master Aban Fiolli (Alpheridies University ComNet)
- Sentence now reads "Her Force-sensitivity did allow her to experience the disturbances and influences that Nyax generated, distressing her as she felt the commands, negative emotions, and pain he released." Atarumaster88
- Why don't we allow Ataru to respond? --Eyrezer 06:24, 6 August 2007 (UTC)
- In that case, I would suggest an entirely new word, altogether. After all, discomfort is also synonymous with embarass. --School of Thrawn 101 06:22, 6 August 2007 (UTC)
- They have different connotations. "Much to her chagrin" may be a common phrase but it suggests embarrassment which doesn't seem appropriate to me. --Eyrezer 06:18, 6 August 2007 (UTC)
- Chagrin and discomfort are synonymous. Besides, "much to (insert pronoun here) chagrin" is a relatively common phrase. --School of Thrawn 101 06:13, 6 August 2007 (UTC)
Finally, I'm not sure the BTS note about discrepencies in her attraction to Jacen is justified. Unlike eye colour, it is changeable and should develop. I don't think it is worth noting.--Eyrezer 05:48, 6 August 2007 (UTC)- Removed. Atarumaster88
(Talk page) 13:51, 6 August 2007 (UTC)
- Removed. Atarumaster88
Comments
Approved by Inquisitorius 13:13, 9 August 2007 (UTC)
- I make no apologies for the horrible pun. Atarumaster88
(Talk page) 04:15, 2 August 2007 (UTC)
- Nauseating pun, Ataru. Simply nauseating. - Graestan
(This party's over) 04:22, 2 August 2007 (UTC)
- I'm speechless. I am without speech. -- Ozzel 04:43, 2 August 2007 (UTC)
- Nauseating pun, Ataru. Simply nauseating. - Graestan
- I like the article,
but I see a few sentences that are "run-on" style.If I really think it needs to be changed, I might.Otherwise, it will get my vote. (See above.) Oh, Ataru, terrible pun; though I would have been tempted too. Master Aban Fiolli (Alpheridies University ComNet)13:36, 3 August 2007 (UTC)
- I've split up some of the run-on sentences. How does it look now? Atarumaster88
(Talk page) 14:09, 3 August 2007 (UTC)
- Much nicer. Great work. I went through extensively and worked on everything up to the Personality section. There were a few embedded spelling errors that needed correction as well. Those should be fixed. Anyone want to take a crack at the Personality and Relationships section next? I'm not sure I'm going to have time to get to it today. Master Aban Fiolli (Alpheridies University ComNet)
15:40, 3 August 2007 (UTC)
- Much nicer. Great work. I went through extensively and worked on everything up to the Personality section. There were a few embedded spelling errors that needed correction as well. Those should be fixed. Anyone want to take a crack at the Personality and Relationships section next? I'm not sure I'm going to have time to get to it today. Master Aban Fiolli (Alpheridies University ComNet)
- I've split up some of the run-on sentences. How does it look now? Atarumaster88
- I added another source (and red link) which you may want to look through and make some changes. It reveals she speaks Ryl for one. --Eyrezer 06:13, 6 August 2007 (UTC)
- Would you classify her as a polyglot, then? Is something such as this worth mentioning in this way? Master Aban Fiolli (Alpheridies University ComNet)
14:47, 6 August 2007 (UTC)
- As soon as I can access Wizards.com, I will add information from this source to the article. Atarumaster88
(Talk page) 15:39, 6 August 2007 (UTC)
- As soon as I can access Wizards.com, I will add information from this source to the article. Atarumaster88
- Would you classify her as a polyglot, then? Is something such as this worth mentioning in this way? Master Aban Fiolli (Alpheridies University ComNet)
- What about the possibility of splitting skills out from the Personality and traits section? Her specialized skills could be better highlighted in this way, such as languages, technology, astronomy, etc. Master Aban Fiolli (Alpheridies University ComNet)
16:02, 7 August 2007 (UTC)
- Information is added to the article, and a separate "Talents" section has been created. Atarumaster88
(Talk page) 16:43, 7 August 2007 (UTC)
- Information is added to the article, and a separate "Talents" section has been created. Atarumaster88
- Out of curiosity, was there no new info in the NJO Sourcebook? --Eyrezer 00:16, 8 August 2007 (UTC)
- The Wizards article is her entry in the NJO Sourcebook. Atarumaster88
(Talk page) 15:07, 8 August 2007 (UTC)
- The Wizards article is her entry in the NJO Sourcebook. Atarumaster88