Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Chak Fel

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Chak Fel

(5 Inqs/1 Users/6 Total)

Support

  1. Inqvote Havac 05:01, 12 February 2008 (UTC)
  2. Major props to you if you can next promote Havac to FA. ;) Chack Jadson (Talk) 20:22, 13 February 2008 (UTC)
  3. Inqvote Green Tentacle (Talk) 14:41, 17 February 2008 (UTC)
  4. Inqvote StarNeptuneTalk to me! 11:22, 18 February 2008 (UTC)
  5. Inqvote Imperialles 00:29, 20 February 2008 (UTC)
  6. Inqvote -- Darth Culator (Talk) 03:10, 21 February 2008 (UTC)

Oppose

  1. From the Bridge of Chack Jadson:
    • From "Aboard the Chaf Envoy": "Eventually, Fel heard the sound of a lightsaber being activated and took Aurek Squad to investigate." Change eventually to something else. It sounds reptitive. Plus, he didn't have to wait that long.
      • Fixed. Havac 18:46, 13 February 2008 (UTC)
    • In P&T:"willing to admit inexperience of lack of skill..." Should it be or?
      • Fixed. Havac 18:46, 13 February 2008 (UTC)
    • That's it. Chack Jadson (Talk) 13:10, 13 February 2008 (UTC)
  2. From the Chron-o-John of Green Tentacle:
    • Outbound Flight (vessel) should be linked in there somewhere and any references to the ship, rather than the project, should be italicized accordingly. Likewise, shouldn't the individual Dreadnaughts' names also be in italics?
    • "Fel recruited the Jedi to use their lightsabers to scratch the conduit with her lightsaber and make sure it was not actually full of a flammable liquid before they cut it open to combat the fire." That doesn't make sense.
    • "With their comlinks jammed, Fel immediately began covering the monitor in the car while the stormtroopers scanned the patter of circuits around it." Patter?
    • "As Davin was the only Fel child of similar age to Chak, Lucas Licensing editor initially suggested that Chak was in fact Davin, with Chak being a nickname." Appears to be missing the editor's name. Green Tentacle (Talk) 11:51, 16 February 2008 (EST)
      • All addressed. Havac 18:17, 16 February 2008 (UTC)
  3. "When, late in 4 ABY, Fel's father went missing during the Battle of Brentaal IV, his mother fled with him and Davin, fearing the retribution of Director of Imperial Intelligence Ysanne Isard, who disliked Soontir Fel." This bloated sentence could probably be improved. --Imperialles 22:55, 19 February 2008 (UTC)
    • Broken up. Havac 00:14, 20 February 2008 (UTC)
  4. From the desk of Atarumaster88
    • Not enough background on Geroons. A teaspoon of context please.
      • It says they show up, say Outbound Flight saved them from being enslaved by the Vagaari, and they want to come along to say thanks. What more context, really, do you need? Havac 03:53, 21 February 2008 (UTC)
        • Well, I'd kind of like to mention that they were a) poor, b) bedraggled, and c) alien. The way it stands, the term Geroon has no context- they could be professors of Rylothean grammar for all we know. Atarumaster88 Jedi Order (Talk page) 23:55, 24 February 2008 (UTC)
          • That's true of any alien species. We don't have to mention, "A Rodian, which is an alien species . . ." I mentioned that they were a refugee ship of Geroons, which goes to their situation. Anything more is completely extraneous to Chak Fel. Havac 00:52, 25 February 2008 (UTC)
    • 4th paragraph of "Aboard Chaf Envoy" does not flow well and is rather choppy.
      • You complain about me giving vague objections? You'll have to be more specific than that. Havac 03:53, 21 February 2008 (UTC)
        • Well, it jumps around and has some seemingly fragmented points (even that clothing change thing aside) There's no context on the dinner-the who, the what, the why. Aside from that it's fine. Atarumaster88 Jedi Order (Talk page) 23:55, 24 February 2008 (UTC)
          • Clarified the dinner. Havac 00:52, 25 February 2008 (UTC)
    • Lots of redundant and repeated information in this. For example, "his skill and role was in the cockpit of a clawcraft". A few lines up, we have "leading a fleet-arm of Nssis-class clawcraft. " and "Fel entered the pilot corps of the Empire of the Hand's fleet,". I think the reader gets the point that Fel flies clawcraft and even leads a wing of them; there's no need to harp on the idea. Then there's "Fel and the four stormtroopers serving as his bodyguard spent much of their time aboard their ship, docked within the Chaf Envoy, wishing to remain out of the way", followed by "Fel spent the next several days mostly aboard his shuttle". Are you that desperate for word count?
      • The point of the second repetition of clawcraftness is that it helps the bit about the 501st fit in and blend with the rest of the paragraph instead of feeling like your Random Chak Fel Fact Of The Day that got stuck in because it didn't have anywhere else to go. And as for the inside the ship thing . . . those are two different time periods four paragraphs apart. Why should one have to go? Havac 03:53, 21 February 2008 (UTC)
    • As was noted on the nomination for Fiolla, we don't need to know about every time Fel changes clothes.
      • Eh. Havac 03:53, 21 February 2008 (UTC)
        • You know, that means I've addressed it. Havac 00:52, 25 February 2008 (UTC)
    • Survivors (Outbound Flight) is not linked.
      • It is now. Havac 03:53, 21 February 2008 (UTC)
    • More clarification needed on who was in D-5. I might know this, but the reader might not.
      • Wait, who who? Out of the party, or in terms of survivors, or what? Havac 03:53, 21 February 2008 (UTC)
        • "unexpected angle to provide aid to the others, now aboard Dreadnaught Five, if needed." This phrase. Atarumaster88 Jedi Order (Talk page) 23:55, 24 February 2008 (UTC)
          • The others. We've talked about Fel and the stormtroopers, Drask, and the Jedi. The others are . . . the others. Formbi, Feesa, Jinzler, the Geroons, Formbi's bodyguards. Surely you're not suggesting I spell those all out. Havac 00:52, 25 February 2008 (UTC)
    • "innocent children". Oh, not the children! POV.
      • Well, children who hadn't actually done anything. What do you want me to say, "Fel was angry at the imprisonment of children who didn't do anything worthy of imprisonment. Or so he thought." Or can we just use one word to convey Fel's opinion of the children? Well, there's more information lost. Havac 03:53, 21 February 2008 (UTC)
    • I do believe that Survivors is capitalized throughout the text. Correct me if I'm wrong; correct the article if I'm not.
      • Only when referring to the group of people who were adults during the actual crash. Not when dealing with the people living there as a body. Havac 03:53, 21 February 2008 (UTC)
    • "Fel prepared an ambush"; "Fel planned to ambush." Variety is the spice of life; add a dash to these two phrases please.
      • Now with ten percent more cilantro. Havac 03:53, 21 February 2008 (UTC)
    • Skills and abilities section preferred, as Chak does have notable skills, though the last paragraph of P&T is moderately acceptable for that purpose.
      • I'd sooner have it in P&T than create a new section for one paragraph of "He was good at flying. And he knew military stuff." Havac 03:53, 21 February 2008 (UTC)
    • Have a Super Terrific Friendly Un-frustrating day. Atarumaster88 Jedi Order (Talk page) 02:54, 21 February 2008 (UTC)

Comments

  • Come on, it's short. Read Tycho too and it'll average out. Havac 05:01, 12 February 2008 (UTC)