Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Celly Organa/Legends

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Celly Organa

  • Nominated by: LelalMekha (talk) 23:41, March 17, 2013 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: More Alderaanians. Huge thanks to Master Jonathan for his thorough prenom review.

(4 Inqs/2 Users/6 Total)

Support

  1. —MJ— Comlink 23:44, March 17, 2013 (UTC)
  2. Inqvote IFYLOFD (Floyd's crib) 22:40, March 19, 2013 (UTC)
  3. Inqvote Sir Cavalier of OneFarStar(Squadron channel) 08:49, April 15, 2013 (UTC)
  4. Inqvote Cade GalacticRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit Calrayn 16:05, April 22, 2013 (UTC)
  5. Stake black msg 16:59, April 22, 2013 (UTC)
  6. Inqvote CC7567 (talk) 16:27, May 14, 2013 (UTC)

Object

Floyd
  • Intro: "As a tutor, she could not hide her exasperation at her niece's tomboyish nature, but she loved her nonetheless, and Leia Organa followed her father's footsteps, succeeding him as Senator of the Alderaan sector to the Imperial Senate." All the commas and clauses make this a very choppy, flow-killing sentence; try to even it out.
    • I made two sentences out of it. See if you think it's better. --LelalMekha (talk) 12:00, March 19, 2013 (UTC)
  • Article for her husband? "A groom of suitable lineage"
    • There really is nothing much to say, since it's an "indirect mention only," but here it is. --LelalMekha (talk) 12:00, March 19, 2013 (UTC)
  • I really think some of the shorter sections in the body could easily be combined with others (for example: Helping the refugees, A planet's demise).
    • I did combine "Helping the refugees" with "early life," but I'm not sure that "A planet's demise should be merge with the previous paragraph. I think its content is too much of a demarcation with "Bringing up Princess Leia," since the Princess is now completely independent. It also is a death paragraph, which makes it important on its own even though it's short. --LelalMekha (talk) 12:00, March 19, 2013 (UTC)
  • "In the last decades of the Republic, the number of people living below the poverty line on Coruscant, capital world of the galactic government, became increasingly alarming." Alarming how?
    • Well, I guess that's POV. The text now reads "was increasing." --LelalMekha (talk) 12:00, March 19, 2013 (UTC)
  • "various new branches were established on various planets," Double "various". Try to vary your word choice.
  • Good work. IFYLOFD (Floyd's crib) 03:54, March 19, 2013 (UTC)
Cav
  • Eventually, she found a groom of suitable lineage[13] and started a family of her own.[10] - if I'm reading the ref correctly, then you are implying that Celly was married due to the fact that it was Alderaanian custom to do so. Does any source specifically state that Celly had a husband, and went about acquiring one in this manner? The fact that you refer to the woman as "dowagers" later on doesn't help this matter as the term has two meanings: 1. A widow who holds a title or property derived from her deceased husband. 2. An elderly woman of high social station. Since either could apply to Celly, if Celly was married, then she would have lost her husband at some point prior to 1 BBY, or never married at all.
    • Well, I guess in this case, one has got to cross-reference several hints. All of Bail Organa's sisters were said to have a family of their own in The Force Unleashed Campaign Guide ; if they have a family of their own, they have children, who were produced with the help of a husband. Furthermore, why would Celly and her sisters insist so much on marrying Leia at a young age if they had not been married themselves? It's referred to as a custom within the Ancient Houses, and the Organa sisters are shown to be guardians of the tradition. Also, as a BTS note, Hambly said that she "[pictured] Rouge as a widow, Tia as still married (possibly for the second or third time), Celly as single, either through widowhood, possibly divorce, or her own choice." I know authorial intent doesn't really count, but at least it tells us that the Organa sisters were indeed married at some point. --LelalMekha (talk) 10:11, April 2, 2013 (UTC)
      • It that case, the description of her as a "dowager" means that she was widowed at that point, meaning her husband was dead, and that should be mentioned with an appropriate ref note explaining the reasoning. - Sir Cavalier of OneFarStar(Squadron channel) 09:25, April 11, 2013 (UTC)
        • Done. I hope the new ref notes are now clear enough. --LelalMekha (talk) 09:45, April 11, 2013 (UTC)
  • Regarding my answer here, since Marvel stuff is S-Canon, and C-Canon overrides it where necessary, the mention of their tutelage of Leia in absence of a mother might need to be amended since later sources have effectively retconned the situation rather than contradicted it. - Sir Cavalier of OneFarStar(Squadron channel) 09:42, April 2, 2013 (UTC)
    • Amended. See if you think it works that way. --LelalMekha (talk) 10:11, April 2, 2013 (UTC)
Cadeth
  • I think you'd be better off using the full version of the infobox image - the one with all three sisters and Leia - instead of the picture of Leia eating, since the image of the aunts actually features Celly herself. Cade GalacticRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit Calrayn 20:31, April 20, 2013 (UTC)
Burned at the stake
  • I really like your writing style! It's fascinating. I only found one bit worth improving:
    • Now that is a compliment! Thanks, I'm blushing with pride. :$ --LelalMekha (talk) 16:55, April 22, 2013 (UTC)
  • You could probably go a bit more in-depth with the HoloNet News interview. It would be good to say that it's the CoCo District Edition and volume 531, all that jazz. Also, it would be good to be a little more clear with what you mean by 'she advocated more solidarity'. That seems a little too generic. Stake black msg 16:38, April 22, 2013 (UTC)
    • I just added something. See if that's clear enough for you. ;) --LelalMekha (talk) 16:55, April 22, 2013 (UTC)
Attack of the Clone
  • As a preliminary, a character's article should as much as possible refer to the titular character by last name for formality. Unless there's a severe problem, I would ask that you do so for Celly, by referring to her as "Organa" as much as possible throughout the article for formality. There shouldn't be a problem if you use first names for all of the other Organas (Bail, Leia, etc.) and "Organa" for Celly, because the reader should know that she is the subject of this article. Please see what you can do.
    • I tried to fix as many of these as I could, but feel free to tell me if I should tweak some more. --LelalMekha (talk) 21:13, April 30, 2013 (UTC)
  • "When her brother Bail, now Viceroy and First Chairman of the Alderaan system": because a timeline isn't specifically established, the way that Bail is stated to "now" be Viceroy and First Chairman is confusing, as it isn't clear how much time has passed between the last paragraph (22 BBY) and here. Even if an exact date isn't known, this needs to be clarified.
    • I just introduced "three years later" and changed the description of Bail's status to senator, since at least Revenge of the Sith clearly establishes he was one at that point. --LelalMekha (talk) 21:13, April 30, 2013 (UTC)
  • I'll start reviewing the body of the article once these two are fixed. CC7567 (talk) 20:04, April 30, 2013 (UTC)
  • "The Princess Organa and her sisters": it's not quite clear who the "Princess Organa" is. Are you referring to Celly?
    • Well, yes, I'm referring to Celly. Being an Organa, she's technically a Princess on her own right (and it's clearly how Hambly envisioned her, judging by her email (she calls Leia's aunts "royal princesses.") But I may still change it if you think's it's too unclear. --LelalMekha (talk) 16:03, May 14, 2013 (UTC)
      • Yeah, I think you could go a little further by directly stating that Celly herself was a Princess. It would help to have that clarified early on. CC7567 (talk) 16:16, May 14, 2013 (UTC)
        • There. If you think that works, we'll just go for it. Otherwise, I'll just reword that part. --LelalMekha (talk) 16:23, May 14, 2013 (UTC)
  • Context on Raal Panteer is needed.
    • Added. I don't suppose we need to say anything more about him. --LelalMekha (talk) 16:03, May 14, 2013 (UTC)
  • I'm not sure how much of the current content of the Legacy section is directly relevant to Celly Organa. I understand that it's listing Leia's remembrance of her aunt, but for the Legacy section, it doesn't seem necessary to list every single time that a dead person was remembered by another person still alive. If you'd like to keep some of the mentions, I would recommend choosing just one or two that are the most important or significant; otherwise, they get repetitive.
    • Well, I tried to trim that part somehow. Tell me if you think it should be reduced some more. --LelalMekha (talk) 16:03, May 14, 2013 (UTC)
  • For the P&T, I don't believe it's necessary to state again that she's a "Human female," as you already do so at the beginning of the Bio.
  • "the Emperor's reception": was the Emperor the one who held the reception for Leia's appointment as senator? That would definitely be relevant to mention in the Bio as well.
  • If you can, please see if you can refer to the Galactic Senate and the Imperial Senate somewhere in the article body in relation to Bail and/or Leia, since they were different Senates (even though both were composed of senators).
  • It should also be explicitly stated in the Bio that Palpatine became Galactic Emperor, since without that context, the mention of the "Emperor" in the P&T is confusing.
  • Celly Organa's affiliation to the High Court of Alderaan needs to be mentioned somewhere in the article body, as it's otherwise exclusive to the infobox. I know that mentioning it will be hard since there isn't an exact relationship established, so wherever you can fit it in should be fine. CC7567 (talk) 15:36, May 14, 2013 (UTC)
    • I've put it in the "early life" section. That should do it. --LelalMekha (talk) 16:03, May 14, 2013 (UTC)

Comments

Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 16:27, May 14, 2013 (UTC)

  • I might be entirely wrong, but I see nothing wrong with the idea of you using the Princess Leia Diaries image as an infobox image. You should probably add a caption stating that it's Celly and her sisters, but I believe such an image is acceptable. Cade Calrayn GalacticRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit 04:06, March 19, 2013 (UTC)
    • I wasn't sure myself, which is why I didn't do it in the first place. Now, I just followed your suggestion, and we'll see what reviewers think about it. --LelalMekha (talk) 12:01, March 19, 2013 (UTC)
  • And another thing about that picture... In Children of the Jedi, it is said that Celly had "fair" hair. If I understand the meaning of the word "fair" correctly (i.e. "not dark"), the only one who matches the description is the kneeling lady with a shoe in her left hand. Would that be considered original research? --LelalMekha (talk) 12:11, March 19, 2013 (UTC)
    • Now that you point that out, I think it's perfectly valid logic. I'd say go ahead and upload a cropped version that focuses on Celly. Cade Calrayn GalacticRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit 14:05, March 19, 2013 (UTC)