Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Cady

< Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations
The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a Featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Contents

  • 1 Cady
    • 1.1 (3 Inqs/4 Users/7 Total)
      • 1.1.1 Support
      • 1.1.2 Object
        • 1.1.2.1 Toprawa
        • 1.1.2.2 Tommy
        • 1.1.2.3 Anil
      • 1.1.3 Comments

Cady

  • Nominated by: —spookywillowwtalk 03:21, April 12, 2020 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: I liked writing about her.

(3 Inqs/4 Users/7 Total)

(Votes required: No additional votes required to pass, please consider reviewing another article.)

Support

  1. Inqvote Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 00:46, April 29, 2020 (UTC)
  2. Fan26 (Talk) 21:40, May 17, 2020 (UTC)
  3. UberSoldat93 ClanMudhornSignet-Redemption (talk) 09:40, May 24, 2020 (UTC)
  4. Braha'tok enthusiast (Hello there) 09:56, May 24, 2020 (UTC)
  5. --Lewisr (talk) 01:54, May 30, 2020 (UTC)
  6. Inqvote TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 02:45, June 1, 2020 (UTC)
  7. Inqvote Tommy-Macaroni 09:47, June 1, 2020 (UTC)

Object

Toprawa
  • I'm kind of confused by this sentence, particularly the second clause. Can we clarify what's going on here at all? "Cady presented the dart to Averross when he arrived, suggesting to the Jedi that the attacker may have been aimed at her so she could assassinate Fanry."
    • Ended up fiddling with that paragraph overall, and splitting it in two.—spookywillowwtalk 21:12, April 28, 2020 (UTC)
  • It would be nice to provide a little explanation here for why this is significant. Is the Leverage going to come blow up the Righteous and spoil their day?
    • The changes from below points may or may not solve this one, wasn't sure which sentence of the article was of issue.—spookywillowwtalk 21:12, April 28, 2020 (UTC)
  • In this sentence, I'm guessing you're intending to say that Fanry was displeased, but the way it's worded is saying that both Fanry and Cady were displeased. If it's only meant to be Fanry, I would suggest changing this to "Although Fanry was displeased [...], she and Cady agreed...": "Though displeased to learn that Deren had failed to kill Col at the coronation, she and Cady agreed rectify the error."
    • Tweaked.—spookywillowwtalk 21:12, April 28, 2020 (UTC)
  • This same paragraph is getting a little too choppy with no real segue from one sentence to another. When is this hologram happening? "Soon after," for example? "When the Righteous accepted a hologram call from Jinn, Cady attended with her princess."
    • Went with 'not long after'.—spookywillowwtalk 21:12, April 28, 2020 (UTC)
  • This slave revolt could use a little context/explanation for how it's happening with regard to Cady and Fanry. For example, how did they learn of it? Did it suddenly start while they were aboard the Righteous? "However, Cady quickly realized that Fanry only cared about her own power when the ruler did not agree to help free the slaves revolting aboard the Leverage."
    • While the slave revolt probably did begin once they were already aboard the Righteous, that isn't confirmed, but I did include that Jinn informed them of it in the hologram call.—spookywillowwtalk 21:12, April 28, 2020 (UTC)
  • Some context for Governor Orth would be nice. What is he a governor of? Something in the intro would be good too, for that matter.
  • In the P/T Orth is referred to as a Minister, whereas he's previously introduced as a Governor, but no context/explanation is given here. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 06:00, April 27, 2020 (UTC)
    • Addressed two above on Orth.—spookywillowwtalk 21:12, April 28, 2020 (UTC)
Tommy
  • You first mention the Pijal palace as just "the palace" in History, and I think it'd be good to fully identify the building when introducing it. Tommy-Macaroni 17:07, May 30, 2020 (UTC)
    • Tweaked.—spookywillowwtalk 02:39, June 1, 2020 (UTC)
Anil
  • Based on the context for Cady's slave chip in the novel, do you think the first mention of the chip should be pipelinked to Transmitter chip? TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 21:42, May 30, 2020 (UTC)
    • After considering it, I don't think it'd work well. That article seems to be referring to a slave device that explodes, and can be placed anywhere on a slave, whereas the Czerka one is meant for inventory scanning and is always on the hand; different concepts imo.—spookywillowwtalk 02:39, June 1, 2020 (UTC)
      • Agreed. TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 02:45, June 1, 2020 (UTC)

Comments

Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 09:47, June 1, 2020 (UTC)