Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Brooks Carlson/Legends

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Brooks Carlson

  • Nominated by: Hanzo Hasashi 16:20, April 25, 2012 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: More Rebel scum!

(4 Inqs/3 Users/7 Total)

Support

  1. Plagueis327 02:47, April 26, 2012 (UTC)
  2. Inqvote Hey, soul sister. Ain't that Mister Mister on the radio? Menkooroo 15:35, May 4, 2012 (UTC)
  3. Did a copy-edit to the Biography section to vary up the wording a bit. Trak Nar Ramble on 04:14, May 22, 2012 (UTC)
  4. Inqvote IFYLOFD (Floyd's crib) 22:56, May 23, 2012 (UTC)
  5. Next do Dunn Carlson. ~SavageBOB sig 22:38, May 25, 2012 (UTC)
  6. Inqvote Green Tentacle (Talk) 12:59, May 27, 2012 (UTC)
  7. Inqvote—Cal JediInfinite Empire (Personal Comm Channel) 20:17, May 30, 2012 (UTC)

Object

Murmuring brook
  • Any chance the first two bio subsections could be combined into one? Two one-paragraph sections seem like too many.
  • In the first paragraph, Carlson and Madine's defection is sourced to Corporal Beezer's CCG card. Is this a mistake?
  • Since Carlson isn't mentioned by name in The Movie Trilogy Sourcebook, I did a bit of source rejigging in the Hoth paragraph and the first strike team paragraph. Let me know what ya think.
  • Can you throw Carlson's name into the last few paragraphs of the bio a few times? Without it, it kinda reads more about the strike team than about Brooks. Menkooroo 03:20, May 4, 2012 (UTC)
    • All addressed. Also, I have a problem with your sourcing Carlson being stationed in Echo Base to the Complete Star Wars Encyclopedia, as that says nothing about him fighting at Hoth. However, I'm leaving it for now at least because maybe it mentions something I don't know about the strike team, though that would require the strike team's specific entry to be cited. Hanzo Hasashi 14:31, May 4, 2012 (UTC)
      • Good call. I've changed it so that the entire paragraph is sourced to both the MTS and the CCG card, since it's presenting a combination of info from the two sources. I did the same in "Personality and traits." It might not be entirely necessary because of the BTS note; it's up to you. Menkooroo 15:35, May 4, 2012 (UTC)
Savaged…
  • Can you substitute some synonyms for "strike team"? I feel like that phrase is used quite a bit in the article.
    • Fixed.
  • I'm not sure why Delevar's potshot and reprimand is pertinent to Carlson. Sure, Carlson was there, but if he didn't participate in the incident, it seems irrelevant to his article.
    • Alright, I got rid of it, but I feel like I've already condensed the stuff enough. I already cut out stuff relevant only to Delevar, among other things.
  • Similarly, the very specific actions of Greeve versus the AT-ST seem irrelevant to Carlson. This should be an article about Carlson, not the entire squad in other words.
    • Same as above, but have chosen for this to stay for those reasons. Other FAs do include this info.
      • Alright, I decided to keep this, but I condensed the text to avoid straying far from the subject. Hanzo Hasashi 21:06, May 25, 2012 (UTC)
  • Finally, the exact means by which the Alliance destroyed the Death Star seems irrelevant to Carlson. Simply say they destroyed the battle station, and be done with it.
    • Got rid of.
  • I think you should add a few words that he had gray hair at the time of the Battle of Endor, since, presumably, he didn't have gray hair his entire life.
    • Done.
  • It's probably worth noting his motives for joining Solo's strike time in the "Biography" in addition to the mention in the P&T. That's it. Nice work.

~SavageBOB sig 20:29, May 25, 2012 (UTC)

  • OK, one last thing: any reason you removed the note about his uniform from P&T? I think that should stay. ~SavageBOB sig 21:30, May 25, 2012 (UTC)
    • Well over time I decided it wasn't worth putting that info in P&Ts. Should I put it back? Hanzo Hasashi 21:50, May 25, 2012 (UTC)
      • I think so, yes. ~SavageBOB sig 21:58, May 25, 2012 (UTC)
Green Tentacle
  • Last reference to walker pilot is singular, previous ones were plural.
    • In the story itself, the last reference just mentions one walker pilot.
      • So does the previous reference. I've changed it slightly to make it clearer. Green Tentacle (Talk) 12:59, May 27, 2012 (UTC)
  • I appreciate we don't know what he did but is it possible to stick his name in once or twice during the last couple of paragraphs of the biography. He's only mentioned in the first sentence of the penultimate paragraph.
    • Just did.
  • Not an objection, but any chance of the Behind the Magic image for BTS? Green Tentacle (Talk) 12:42, May 26, 2012 (UTC)

Comments

Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 20:17, May 30, 2012 (UTC)

  • Just want to know, since I had dug the book out to check... On page 154 of the Star Wars Character Encyclopedia, the main pic of the "Rebel Trooper" entry, is that Brooks Carlson or someone else? Trak Nar Ramble on 04:14, May 22, 2012 (UTC)
    • Culator showed me the photo, we both agreed the one pictured looks younger than him, so it's someone else. Hanzo Hasashi 03:39, May 23, 2012 (UTC)