Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Broadside (clone trooper)

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Broadside (clone trooper)

  • Nominated by: Clone Commander Lee Talk 13:54, July 2, 2010 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: One of my old GAs and my first FA. 1,013 words, be gentle

(4 Inqs/3 Users/7 Total)

Support

  1. Thefourdotelipsis 13:19, July 3, 2010 (UTC)
  2. Good work. --Imperialles 13:52, July 13, 2010 (UTC)
  3. Inqvote Flacco to Rice! Touchdown! Chack Jadson (Talk) 14:44, July 20, 2010 (UTC)
  4. Inqvote CC7567 (talk) 02:01, July 23, 2010 (UTC)
  5. Inqvote Jonjedigrandmaster (Talk) 16:38, July 24, 2010 (UTC)
  6. Good job, write more FAs!—Jedi Kasra (comlink) 14:18, July 26, 2010 (UTC)
  7. Inqvote Toprawa and Ralltiir 17:44, July 26, 2010 (UTC)

Object

Something about The Cold War
  • "Before leaving, Matchtsick made a bet with Broadside that if they survived the battle, drinks were on him, and Broadside replied that he could already taste them." - This is probably approaching PBP a bit. See if you can't generalize it a bit more.
    • Fixed.
  • Perhaps add a bit about Grievous surviving, since he was a part of the original mission objectives.
    • Added.
  • Otherwise, very good. A few links to redirects, but otherwise well done. Thefourdotelipsis 00:42, July 3, 2010 (UTC)
    • Thank you.
Fett
  • After a brief glance, could you please properly source "veteran" in the bio? Also, would you consider placing that term in the P&T? I wouldn't say it early in the bio, as Broadside never been a veteran since he was commissioned for the GAR. I haven't looked at Broadside's entry yet in the TCWCE, so I'm not quite sure if you have all the information about him in the article.
    • Fixed and the info is from CC.
  • P&T-"as a good luck charm like most pilots did on the outgoing of their missions." What other pilots? JangFett (Talk) 12:14, July 3, 2010 (UTC)
    • Not stated in the CSWE. I quote: Pilots are superstitious and most have rituals they follow to make sure they return to base safely. For Broadside and his friend Matchstick, the good luck charm is to take turns agreeing to buy the drinks when they make it through each new Republic mission. Thanks for your review. Clone Commander Lee Talk 13:01, July 3, 2010 (UTC)
      • All right, but how was Broadside was "loyal" to Skywalker? JangFett (Talk) 13:08, July 3, 2010 (UTC)
        • Fixed. Clone Commander Lee Talk 13:11, July 3, 2010 (UTC)
          • Obeying his orders doesn't necessarily mean he was "loyal" to him. Also, you could split that sentence and Broadside/Matchstick "good luck charm" sentence. JangFett (Talk) 14:15, July 3, 2010 (UTC)
  • One more for now- I see you sourced "veteran" to the TCW CE guide, but I don't see anything in Broadside's entry that says he's a veteran pilot. JangFett (Talk) 02:06, July 4, 2010 (UTC)
    • Well it states that he is experienced. Would veteran be okay with you or should I change it ? Clone Commander Lee Talk 08:35, July 4, 2010 (UTC)
      • "Experienced" would be better, as the source says it. Saying "veteran" is speculation, since the source did not mention it. JangFett (Talk) 13:14, July 4, 2010 (UTC)
L'Imperialles
  • Acquiring Y-wing bombers: "After the briefing, Jedi Master Plo Koon, who had been rescued following an encounter with the Malevolence, asked Skywalker if Shadow Squadron was capable of carrying out its assigned task. Skywalker referred the Jedi to Matchstick, who replied affirmatively, and Broadside agreed." This is fairly play-by-play. I don't see why you can't phrase it as "After the briefing, Plo Koon [...] asked if Shadow Squadron was capable of carrying out its assigned task. Both Broadside and Matchstick assured him they could." This way you're not bound by the structure of the episode script, while still relaying the important information.
    • Fixed.
  • Attack on the Malevolence: Much of this section appears to be written with Skywalker in mind. Instead of saying "Skywalker did this," tell us "Broadside and his squad, ordered to X by Skywalker, did this." It's not a huge issue, but I think it's something that can be improved.
    • Better?
  • This review dedicated to Spain's well deserved 1-0 victory over Germany. --Imperialles 20:09, July 8, 2010 (UTC)
    • Well if you don't attack you won't win. It was deserved. Thanks for your review. Clone Commander Lee Talk 18:31, July 9, 2010 (UTC)
This review dedicated to the Baltimore Ravens, the best team in all the galaxy
  • "destroyed its ion cannons, preventing Grievous from destroying the Republic's Kaliida Shoals Medical Center." Could you use a synonym for one of these destroys?
    • Fixed.
  • Otherwise quite nice. Chack Jadson (Talk) 19:17, July 9, 2010 (UTC)
  • The last sentence of the P&T is redundant, particularly the "talented pilot" bit, since you essentially already said that. Chack Jadson (Talk) 00:06, July 11, 2010 (UTC)
Attack of the Clone
  • No mention of the Clone Wars at all in either the body or the intro? Please get it in somewhere in both sections, since it's definitely relevant.
    • Added.
  • "revealed that the Malevolence's new target was the Kaliida Shoals Medical Center": new target? So was there an old one? Please clarify and reword.
    • Changed to "next".
  • "Before leaving, Matchstick made a bet with Broadside, stating that if they survived the battle, drinks were on him." This is nitpicking a bit, but the "him" can mean either Matchstick or Broadside, and as I don't have access to the episode at the moment, I can't check myself who he meant. Please fix.
    • Fixed.
  • Good work otherwise. CC7567 (talk) 03:09, July 22, 2010 (UTC)
Toprawa
  • I don't think it's so good that the intro quote is repeated in the biography. This becomes especially repetitive once you directly quote this line for a third time in the P/T. Please find a way to revise the second bio subsection quote to avoid the redundancy.
    • Removed the second bio quote and replaced it with the P&T quote. No quote available for P&T available.
  • Broadside's name is mentioned nowhere in the final 191 words of the biography. Please find a few spots therein to bring the text back in direct relation to the subject of this article.. Toprawa and Ralltiir 19:22, July 24, 2010 (UTC)

Comments

Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 17:44, July 26, 2010 (UTC)

  • Dedicated to the German national soccer team for their 4-0 victory over Argentina in the quarter-finals. Clone Commander Lee Talk 16:37, July 3, 2010 (UTC)