Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Blue Max

The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a Featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Blue Max

• Nominated by: IFYLOFD ^(Talk) 02:58, 8 April 2021 (UTC)
• Nomination comments: Yeah why the hell not man let's get it rolling
• WookieeProject (optional):

(3 Inqs/4 Users/7 Total)

(Votes required: No additional votes required to pass, please consider reviewing another article.)

Support

1. D MCCG (chat) 21:31, 28 April 2021 (UTC)
2. Great to see your name on this page! JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 02:24, 20 May 2021 (UTC)
3. AmazinglyCool (talk) 11:43, 30 May 2021 (UTC)
4. Can't wait for more! MasterFred(talk) 20:47, 3 June 2021 (UTC)
5. Good work. UberSoldat93 (talk) 07:14, 7 June 2021 (UTC)
6. Supreme Emperor ^Holocomm 22:08, 30 August 2021 (UTC)
7. TO THE MAX. Braha'tok enthusiast ^{Hello there} 22:31, 30 August 2021 (UTC)

Object

UberSoldat

• Infobox-exclusive information.
• It's unnecessary to specify "None" for armaments.
• To fit with the Oasis skin, article can really use some paragraph breaks, which will make way for more subsectioning.
  • Still needs subsectioning. The second-to-last Biography paragraph can be cut down. See Simus to understand how this should look. UberSoldat93 (talk) 20:27, 10 April 2021 (UTC)
    • Done. IFYLOFD ^(Talk) 03:46, 16 April 2021 (UTC)
      • Looking better, "Signing on with Han Solo" and "Hunting the slavers" can be subsectioned further. Are there more images you can add? UberSoldat93 (talk) 05:45, 16 April 2021 (UTC)
        • I personally don't think it's necessary, but done. There's not really much left there for images. IFYLOFD ^(Talk) 22:00, 26 April 2021 (UTC)
• Date cannot be sourced straight to the novel.
  • A note specific to the events of the novel and the character would be appreciated, look to Simus again as well as Krdys Mordi to see how it should read. UberSoldat93 (talk) 20:27, 10 April 2021 (UTC)
    • I personally don't see why that's necessary. The date is directly found in the Reader's Companion. There's no real elaboration to give. IFYLOFD ^(Talk) 21:25, 12 April 2021 (UTC)
• Abridged audiobooks for Rebel Dawn and New Jedi Order will need to be checked for mentions, while unabridged audiobooks (1, 2, 3) should presumably be listed in Appearances.
  • I'm assuming he's mentioned in those audiobooks since the templates are missing. Also, nothing in the abridged versions? UberSoldat93 (talk) 20:27, 10 April 2021 (UTC)
    • I haven't found any indication that he's mentioned in the abridged versions. Do you know of any good way to access them? IFYLOFD ^(Talk) 21:19, 12 April 2021 (UTC)
      • Rebel Dawn and NJO. UberSoldat93 (talk) 05:59, 13 April 2021 (UTC)
        • Checked both, they've been added. IFYLOFD ^(Talk) 02:08, 15 April 2021 (UTC)
          • Still missing the associated templates (Mo/Imo in this case). UberSoldat93 (talk) 05:56, 15 April 2021 (UTC)
            • Added. IFYLOFD ^(Talk) 03:22, 16 April 2021 (UTC)
• Missing full comic publication date.
  • Can this be sourced straight to the comic? It also needs to include the day as well per Layout Guide. UberSoldat93 (talk) 20:27, 10 April 2021 (UTC)
    • Since it's a comic strip, yes, it should be self-sourcing. Day added. IFYLOFD ^(Talk) 22:06, 18 April 2021 (UTC)
• Missing {{1stp}}. UberSoldat93 (talk) 06:28, 8 April 2021 (UTC)
  • All of these should be addressed. IFYLOFD ^(Talk) 20:12, 10 April 2021 (UTC)
• "Jessa had established contact with a covert cell of concerned citizens investigating similar disappearances throughout the Corporate Sector: led by an academic named Rekkon, who was searching for his vanished nephew, the group had slowly infiltrated a Corporate Sector Authority Data Center on Orron III that they believed could point them to the locations of the missing." It's not immediately clear who or what Rekkon is leading and the whole sentence feels like a run-on.
• "However, things quickly went awry when they arrived on Dellalt: a local gang leader named J'uoch, also after the treasure, ambushed them as they went for the log-recorder. Although Blue Max used his link into the Falcon's weapons systems to make things a fight for the outnumbered crew, J'uoch's gang forced them to retreat and stole the Millennium Falcon." Unencyclopedic tone, please reword. There might be more instances throughout the article that I missed while copy-editing.
  • Just curious: in what way are those phrases not "encyclopedic tone?" They're not using colloquialisms, they're (I think accurately) describing what actually happened. In what way would you reword them to be more encyclopedic? IFYLOFD ^(Talk) 13:41, 2 May 2021 (UTC)
    • In formal writing, words like "things" are avoided as they "feel" informal. For example, in the first instance, you can say something like "the situation turned unfavorable for the crew." For the second phrase, you may want to specify that Max utilized the weapons system to help the crew out. "Make things a fight for the crew" doesn't make it clear why Max did so in the first place. UberSoldat93 (talk) 14:10, 2 May 2021 (UTC)
• Are there no articles for the events described here? UberSoldat93 (talk) 11:39, 28 April 2021 (UTC)
  • These should hopefully be addressed. IFYLOFD ^(Talk) 23:38, 4 May 2021 (UTC)
• Can you link Liberation of Stars' End somewhere in the article body? It's currently only linked in the intro. UberSoldat93 (talk) 06:48, 20 May 2021 (UTC)
  • Should be linked in both now. IFYLOFD ^(Talk) 02:29, 25 May 2021 (UTC)

Macaroni

• "Their dramatic escape spat them out in the foothills beneath J'uoch's camp." This feels a bit unencyclopedic.
• "Skynx offered Blue Max and Bollux jobs on the spot helping him sift through the Queen of Ranroon and the two droids accepted on the spot, officially parting ways with Solo and Chewbacca." Can you vary the wording so it doesn't repeat "on the spot" twice in a row?
• Is his learning of dejarik something that can be mentioned in the biography?
• {{CSWECite}} should not be used in the sources section, as Blue Max has his own entry. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 21:17, 28 April 2021 (UTC)
  • These should be addressed. IFYLOFD ^(Talk) 23:38, 4 May 2021 (UTC)
• Can you add some context for Orron III?
• "Fortunately, in a matter of microseconds..." This needs to keep a NPOV.
• Those are (hopefully) my last two, good stuff. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 21:24, 12 May 2021 (UTC)
  • Should be done. IFYLOFD ^(Talk) 23:05, 19 May 2021 (UTC)

Fred strikes back

• It feels damn good seeing you back on the FAN. :)
  • Good to be back, my dude.
• I think Max's internal conflict over destroying the war droids needs a mention in "Characteristics."
• Here's my copy-edit for some minor grammatical fixes. Great work, and I can't wait to see more! MasterFred(talk) 07:01, 1 June 2021 (UTC)
  • Should be done. Thanks Fred IFYLOFD ^(Talk) 00:54, 3 June 2021 (UTC)

Comments

Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 23:15, 30 August 2021 (UTC)

• Just a note about a tool that I'm not sure you're aware of. On the bottom toolbar under "My Tools," you can have it highlight duplicate links. It automatically separates the intro, body, and refs, so you can see if something is linked twice in any of those three areas. I've gone ahead and removed the duplicate link to The galaxy/Legends. MasterFred(talk) 06:04, 22 April 2021 (UTC)
• Another thing to note: italicized links should be like this: [[Millennium Falcon/Legends|''Millennium Falcon'']] as opposed to like ''[[Millennium Falcon/Legends|Millennium Falcon]]'' per WP:MOS#Formatting. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 03:26, 28 April 2021 (UTC)