Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Belindi Kalenda

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Belindi Kalenda

(5 Inqs/3 Users/8 Total)

Support

  1. Inqvote Fifteenth (overall) and last nomination in the "Famous women of Star Wars" series. Atarumaster88 Jedi Order (Talk page) 06:45, 13 January 2008 (UTC)
  2. Toprawa and Ralltiir 06:49, 13 January 2008 (UTC)
  3. Janeway 20:48, 13 January 2008 (UTC)
  4. Inqvote Now this is an awesome topic. Thefourdotelipsis 08:40, 14 January 2008 (UTC)
  5. Enochf 00:17, 22 January 2008 (UTC)
  6. Inqvote -- Darth Culator (Talk) 02:19, 27 January 2008 (UTC)
  7. Inqvote Jaina Solo(Talk) 01:05, 28 January 2008 (UTC)
  8. Inqvote Queue this b*@#$. Graestan(Talk) 03:48, 28 January 2008 (UTC)

Oppose

  1. From the Forest of Goodwood:
    • Intro could be a bit more detailed; in addition, the term "disgraced" when referring to Dif Scaur is somewhat inaccurate.
      • The intro is as long as it needs to be; "disgraced" is generally accurate- Scaur fell out of favor with Omas and his staff following the Alpha Red thing. [1]. Atarumaster88 Jedi Order (Talk page) 16:35, 13 January 2008 (UTC)
    • Last line of introduction, regarding her Force-sensitivity, reads like it was tacked on as an afterthought. But how about working it in somewhere else? Perhaps the body?
    • Double Kalendas in the first line of the Early Life section.
      • As one of them is referring to her brother, I don't really see the problem. Atarumaster88 Jedi Order (Talk page) 16:35, 13 January 2008 (UTC)
    • The sentence "Kalenda decided to continue to a career in the military, having no particular allegiance to the Empire" seems a little fragmentary, as does the sentence immediately afterward. Suggest you merge and/or rewrite.
    • "Kalenda handily slew them" seems a bit weird (possibly POVish); please reword.
      • I'm afraid I might need a better explanation on that- I fail to see how it is POV. Atarumaster88 Jedi Order (Talk page) 16:35, 13 January 2008 (UTC)
    • "Kalenda was finally rewarded by the arrival of the Millennium Falcon" Rewarded for what? The Additionally, "she would be unable to..." should be corrected for tense.
    • "she found an occupied villa" -- should this be "unoccupied"? It's been a while since I read the Corellian Trilogy but I'm pretty sure her stakeout hooch was vacant.
    • Q9-X2 was an astromech droid, not a protocol droid.
    • Too many repetitions of her surname makes the article seem stilted and hackneyed. How about some alternate pronouns?--Goodwood Redstarbird (Alliance Intelligence) 20:21, 13 January 2008 (UTC)
    • TIMMMMBERRRR!!!--Goodwood Redstarbird (Alliance Intelligence) 07:12, 13 January 2008 (UTC)
  2. There are some things you can add.
    • As far as I know the mission in Remnant was also her idea. Please correct me if i'm wrong.
      • Remnant states that it was either Omas's or the Solos' idea; Kalenda was called in to coordinate. Atarumaster88 Jedi Order (Talk page) 16:35, 13 January 2008 (UTC)
    • The Meeting with Niathal and Jacen Solo was in Exile, not in Fury. Look at page 248 of Exile and correct the ref.
    • Also you could use Tsavong Lah's menace in chapter 11 of Star by Star in a minor sentence.
    • She told Talon and Showolter that she visited Tynna once. It's in chapter 16 of Jedi Eclipse.
      • That's true, but not necessarily germaine to the overall context of the character. Adding it in would create a lone fragmented sentence that would not flow with the rest of the article. Atarumaster88 Jedi Order (Talk page) 16:35, 13 January 2008 (UTC)
    • According to Assault on Selonia(chapter 3) she was 25 years old in 18 ABY. 18ABY-25years=7BBY. Well, Cracken's Threat Dossier has got many erros, hasn't it? I think the novel is right, isn't it?
      • No, they're both consistent. I just can't count. Fixed. Atarumaster88 Jedi Order (Talk page) 16:35, 13 January 2008 (UTC)
    • She joined NRI in 13 ABY, look at chapter 10 of Hero's Trial. Janeway 13:36, 13 January 2008 (UTC)
    • What about the redirect Kalenda? Shouldn't it be a disambiguation page?Janeway 16:52, 13 January 2008 (UTC)
  3. From the squalid cubicle of Graestan:
    • Reference to Elan in the intro is too vague.
    • "Early life and career" needs to be revisited…reads as disjointed sentences.
    • "Nursing her damaged ship to Corellia" should be reworded or a different phrase found.
    • "The only occupant they found was Jenica Sonsen, an administrator of the station, who had no clue about the station's uses in the starbuster plot, which had been periodically blowing up stars."—Please reword and clarify. Also, Starbuster is capitalized.
    • Please choose whether you will refer to it as "NRI" or "the NRI."
    • "Kalenda returned to Coruscant, spending time in a bacta tank to recuperate en route, where she briefed the Council on Security and Intelligence on her findings."—Reword; clarify.
    • Graestan(Talk) 03:29, 28 January 2008 (UTC)

Comments

Approved by Inquisitorius 14:31, 28 January 2008 (UTC)

  • I've written the German One and it's not as good as your's. Janeway 13:36, 13 January 2008 (UTC)